July 13, 2023 · 7:52 pm

Let’s Talk about the Weather

So, I am not very good at small talk. I would rather be silent than talk about the weather. Now, I know that small talk is a social component that helps build a bound between people. I read somewhere that a comment on the weather can start a conversation anywhere in the world. Small talk is important, I’m just not good at it.

I would rather talk about deeper things. But people don’t want to jump into that side of the pool very often it seems. I think we hide behind small talk, hide behind discussing the weather and tomorrow’s forecast.

But today reminded me that the weather can make connections… even if it is just for a few minutes.

It rained all morning. It was just before noon when I headed for my walk. My neighborhood is a weird mix of cul-da-sac,and winding roads. I have different “routes” depending on the time I have to walk. There are regular walkers I encounter, but I was walking at an odd time for me. I had my earbuds in to listen to music and took a “medium” route today.

I came across someone I didn’t know about halfway through my route. She was an older lady walking on the other side of the road. We waved at each other. (I wave only about half of the time when I walk by someone – told you, not good at this small talk thing).

Then she raised her hands up, like I had a gun. It startled me. I took out my earbuds and said, “I’m sorry?”

She raised them again saying, “Do you think it’s going to rain on us?” She put her hands down, then lifted her left hand up, which was holding an umbrella. “I brought this just in case.”

“I think we are good for a while,” I said smiling.

“I hope so,” she replied.

And we headed on our way.

Toward the end of my route we crossed paths again. We smiled at the moment.

I took my earbuds out as we got closer. “Didn’t need the umbrella,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s not like we would melt if it did rain,” she said.

We waved, smiling, as we headed in opposite directions.

Nothing world changing, just two people talking about the weather, but it elevated the moment. A small positive connection was made… and I think we sure could use more of these moments.

So how’s the weather in your part of the world?

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July 12, 2023 · 7:56 pm

Bruised Fingers

A moment of truth here, I am not very good at lawn care or maintaining our landscaping. Our lawn is a mess. I spent three hours pulling weeds and trimming our plants. I have two fingers with bruises beneath the fingernails. Yes, it hurts to type this post tonight.

At one time our lawn was fine. Then for five summers we traveled with our second son as he played AAU basketball. Since this April we have traveled home to see my mom (she passed away in June) or been helping with the transition of my in-laws to assisted living or moving our first son to his new town. Add that we do not have underground sprinklers. Combine that with the simple fact that I do not have the foundational knowledge of lawn care and you get my lawn. And bruised fingers.

As the sun heated my back this afternoon I thought about one of my dadisms, “Do the small things and big things don’t happen.” If we spend a little time working on the small things, spending the time taking care of routine activities, bigger issues don’t usually happen. 

My fingers prove that point. The landscaping looks good. The lawn? Not yet, but I am working on that tomorrow.

Now, for the twist, I am happy with my lawn. Its condition shows that I was spending time holding my mom’s hands, feeding her ice chips, getting to see her days before she passed away.

The lawn shows that I spent time traveling every summer to see my son play basketball. I learned a hard lesson during that time (blog post about that lesson), but I wouldn’t exchange the memories with my son and wife for a green lawn.

I will be working on getting my lawn back, I mean we have games of capture the flag to play. But, if you drive by my house, remember that my lawn looks the way it does because of the choices I’ve made to spend my time on other aspects of my life. I’ve got bruised fingers and a full heart to prove it.

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July 11, 2023 · 6:49 pm

Horses

My youngest daughter said I should write about horses.

So, this post will be about horses.

I’m scared of horses.

For decades, the family would meet in South Dakota for Thanksgiving. My aunt and uncle had horses. The tradition didn’t change when I had my own family, but we did have to get hotel rooms as my family grew.  We have so many pictures of my children riding the horses. Sometimes bundled up in coats with the sun shining. But not a single picture of me on a horse.

When I was a senior in high school I tried riding one of the horses. My uncle guided the horse around the front fence line, which had recently been repaired. The horse spotted some rope left on the ground, wrapped up and looking like a snake. The horse reacted by rearing up. I was spooked, too, and fell off.

I know, not the coolest story, not even that big of a serious reaction. But for someone who spent much of his life in big cities; I was shook. And I have never been on a horse since.

Their presence is strong. I don’t have the confidence to match their energy. My kids just laugh and wave as they enjoy riding horses when they can. I just smile and wave back.

And now some words from my guest blogger, my youngest daughter (9 years old):

One time we went to Wisconsin and this one place you could ride horses in a carriage when my dad said that we were gonna go one day I was blasted with energy and joy so we went I ran to the line and when they were getting ready we pet the horses I ran to every horse petting them over and over again I also got to flick a switch on the ride, we rode in between the canyons and when we got back we went into the shop and that’s when I met my best friend canyon, shes a horse stuffed animal, horses are truly beautiful and kind.

Hope you enjoyed our post about horses.

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July 10, 2023 · 4:20 pm

Favorite Series: Life

This will be the last post in the Favorite Series. I will get back to sharing just three things, and get back to connecting ideas on a deeper level because in this post I am going to share three favorite things about life… 

Blue Sky with clouds and purple flowers in the forefront.

I am going to share the deep abstract element first. One of my favorite things about life is a blue sky with clouds. Let me explain. A blue sky with clouds gives me a sense of living. Whether I am walking, playing outside with kids, or driving to get a coffee, when the sky is that dark edged blue and peppered with clouds, especially big puffy ones that almost seem 3D, I feel a sense of being here. The starkness of the sky reminds me that I am on this Earth and have this moment to be me. To live this life the best I can because, like the clouds, life is in constant motion. A day may be filled with joy or heartbreak, but it is my day to live. 

Other skies, like a starry night, have different vibes for me and I enjoy being under their charm. But give me a blue sky with clouds because it fills my soul.

Learning is my favorite aspect of life. I know, this shouldn’t surprise anyone who has read a few of my blog posts. Life is always providing opportunities to learn, to connect ideas, or to give us a chance to become better than we were. We can learn from books (a definite favorite of mine), from people (maybe the most powerful) and from what happens in our daily life (if we pay attention).

But learning is a choice. Even though I find it hard to believe, not everyone cares to learn. Many people are happy with where they are and don’t seek out ways to learn… I can’t do that, because I believe that who we are as a person is the direct effect of what we learn. And who we are is how we live.

Connected to learning is creativity (which is also who we are). My third favorite aspect of life is creativity. I like to draw. I like to make videos. I like to dance. I like to come up with games to play with my children (we have a pool game called Shark. It’s kind of an underwater tag game). And if you follow my blog, even though I don’t have a regular schedule, you know I love to write. 

During a deep discussion a few years ago with my seniors I said that life is simply who you are and what you do with your time. 

I still believe this. I am a writer, who loves to learn, and get lost gazing at a blue sky with puffy clouds. What a life!

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July 9, 2023 · 11:02 am

Favorite Series: Food

I am going to break my rule of sharing three favorite things for this post because it’s food. And I won’t expand on the favorites like I have in the other posts. So, here are some of my favorite foods.

Favorite cereal: Boo Berry. It is only available in this area around Halloween. 

Favorite type of chips: Kettle cooked jalapeno. I’m not loyal to any brand, I enjoy them all.

Favorite candy: Albanese Gummies. I like the bears, the worms, the sour ones. 

Favorite pizza: Sausage and mushrooms. Again, not loyal to any brand or restaurant.

Favorite ice cream: Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food.

Favorite homemade meal I cook: Chicken and rice (cooked together with cream of mushroom soup).

Favorite snack: Blueberry almonds. Hard to find in my area, but they do show up on the shelves in the store every once in a while.

Favorite movie snack: Popcorn, lots of butter.

Favorite drink: Coffee with milk. Love trying new flavors and company blends.

A few of my favorite foods. I am chuckling because of all these favorites, I only have popcorn and coffee in the house at the moment… time to go grocery shopping!

Tomorrow will be the last post for this series…

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July 8, 2023 · 5:31 pm

Favorite Series: Albums

Because of last month’s challenge, I decided to share with you three favorite albums. So, this ended up being a challenge because I have rediscovered the beauty of listening to a full album. Add the factor of soundtracks and compilations. Add that I have hundreds of CDs, yes I still buy them… and I have some that are not on Spotify or other streaming services. By no means is this a top 10 kind of list. These are just three of my favorite albums.

Blind to Reason by Grayson Hugh, is an album I listen to a lot, even after 35 years. The album was released in 1988. I might have been one of the few teenagers to have bought the CD back in 1988, but I loved the song “Talk It Over” when I first heard it. Even now the album leaves me feeling good about life.

She by Harry Connick Jr. is a musical trip. There are songs that make you smile while you bob your head, while others challenge your mind and spirit. “Honestly Now (Safety is Just Danger … Out of Place)” is one of my favorite songs from the album.

Fear of a Black Planet by Public Enemy is a masterpiece of an album. I know fans will argue with me about this, but the themes of the songs and the musical production of this album hits on every song. I have a hard time just listening to the album straight through because I will hit repeat on songs like “Brothers Gonna Work It Out” and “Welcome to the Terrordome”. 

This post was so hard to write. There are so many great albums. I shared 3 from my physical collection that numbers close to 700 CDs (I won’t talk about the cassettes). Let me know if you own or listen to these albums in the comment section.

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July 7, 2023 · 9:07 am

Favorite Series: Movies

Funny how life connects. For a Twitter challenge today, it asked what is your favorite movie. I used one of my favorite songs in another challenge based on music. So this must be the perfect time for this series. Today is movies, so here are three of my favorite movies (4 if you see the tweet I mentioned before).

One of my favorite horror movies is Oculus. Mirrors have a long history as a literary element. Mirrors are passageways. Used as a metaphor for truth. This move is centered on a mirror, and it is scary!

A documentary that always hits me is Louder Than a Bomb. I know, for those readers who know me this doesn’t surprise you. But if you have to see this movie to understand. This movie reveals how poetry helps people, teens in this case, make sense of the world. 

A cult classic of mine is The Warriors. Yes, the 1979 gang movie. It is such a great film. I won’t go into my teacher mode and break down the idea of community, identity, and friendship this movie reveals. We can chat about that after you’ve watched it.

Leave a comment if you enjoy these movies.

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July 6, 2023 · 7:59 pm

Favorite Series: Books

This is the first post in my Favorite Series, where I will share a few of my favorite things in different areas. Today I will share a few of my favorite books. 

The Night Watch Series by Sergei Lukyanenko is an amazing story of what it means to be good or evil. There are “Others” among us, The Light Others and the Dark Others, who both have ‘Watches’ that keep a balance between the sides. Sounds simple, but the depth of philosophy around what makes an Other light or dark is challenging. Also, Lukyanenko’s writing style keeps you turning the page because each book has a twist to it, a mystery to solve. I cried at the end of the last book the first time I read it.

One of my favorite graphic novels is Tetris: The Games People Play. If you spent hours playing Tetris on your Game Boy the history of the game will fascinate you. 

When I can, I get books from library book sales or giveaways. I found a gem of poetry a few years ago, De Mayor of Harlem: The Poetry of David Henderson. Now, David Henderson didn’t take the place of Langston Hughes as my favorite poet, but David’s poetry reads like jazz, too. Filled with poems that shine like a city at night. I know the book may be hard to find but it is worth it.

I’ll keep this post to three of my favorite books (actually 8 books). If you have read any of these, or do read them, let me know what you thought about them.

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July 5, 2023 · 8:17 pm

The Challenge of a Challenge

July challenge, write a blog post each day. 

Day 5… what to write about?

Writing a poem every day in April was somewhat easy because there was a prompt each day. I checked the prompt in the morning, then spent the day thinking about ideas, and investigating poetic forms I thought would work.

This blogging challenge isn’t as easy. WordPress does have a few prompts, but they haven’t changed in a few days. And I don’t really feel inspired by them. Add that today was one of those days that had me running around. So, I haven’t had time to just sit and write. It is almost 8 o’clock and I am finally sitting down to blog.

So, why do this? It would be easy to just let a day slide.

It is always easier to just let something slide for a day, then two, maybe a week. Much of what brings us real joy in life can be put off for some other time. Another time when we feel more energized, not drained from work, or the desire to just scroll on our phones keeps our attention.

We can take a walk tomorrow with our kids. 

We can get back to the book later.

We can go fishing when it is not so hot.

We can always call / text someone later.

We all let moments go, thinking that we will get to them later. Too many of those moments would bring us joy, happiness, or a sense of accomplishment if we completed them. That’s why they cross our minds, something is telling us we are missing this from our life. But we will let go… for another time.

One of the toughest hurdles is that nothing bad happens if we let the moment go. No one really cares if I write this post or not. Nothing will happen to me. Well, kind of…

First, I will let myself down. I promised myself to do this challenge, as I have done for each month. It is important to hold up your promises to yourself. That is the basis of confidence and sense of living a life you are proud of.

Second, this challenge, as have been the others, are activities I think are important to my life. I love writing. I love this moment, headphones on, notebook or computer open, and the rush of articulating the ideas in my head and heart onto paper. Add the rush of hope that someone will read it… that my words might make a difference for someone, and I am happy. 

This is a year of challenges. Some from the chaotic power of life, the twist and turns we all go through. The choices we make with what to do with our time, who we spend it with, and just the simple act of living. But also of challenges I have given myself. Challenges that tap into what brings me joy, allows me to spend my time doing more fulfilling things and feel like I have lived. 

But isn’t that the challenge we all have? To live life to the fullest measure of who we are…

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July 4, 2023 · 6:19 pm

Home

We had s’mores last night. Set off a few fireworks. Tried to catch lighting bugs. Watched our neighborhood firework show. Then went to bed. This morning we had cinnamon rolls. While we were eating, my youngest daughter said that last night was fun. Everyone agreed.

One of the things I am proud of is the sense of home we have. My wife and I work hard at creating a home that is warm and safe for our children. When I became a dad, I wanted my children to know that they had a loving place in this world. I wanted a home filled with laughter. Filled with love. A place that my children could find reprieve from this world. 

I grew up in houses that I felt alone in. Scared in. There were houses where I found ways not to spend time in… luckily the library was across the street from that house. 

Our home is part of the fabric of our family. We have movie nights, dance parties, blueberry muffins and simply some good days.

Of course we have had our troubles, rough times. But the heart of our home is love. And I have to give credit to Oprah Winfrey for some advice early in my days of being a dad. 

Does your face light up when your children enter the room?

As Oprah says, it was a light bulb moment for me. I remind myself of this everyday.

Now, I might have taken the idea to the extreme. Especially in the mornings. My kids hate my energy in the morning, but part of the reason for that is that I want them to know I am excited to start the day with them. To let them know they are loved. The teen years are the toughest in the mornings… they do not want to talk when they first get up. But it is all good! It is funny to listen to my sons, who are both out of the house, about how I used to wake them up. But they remember it!

I do my best to let my children know I love them each time they enter the room. I am not perfect. No one is, but I am proud of how I’ve created a home I never had. I look forward to all the good days ahead.

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