So I was mowing the lawn last night. Headphones on, music on shuffle. Thinking about life.
And as I was mowing the edge of our landscaping, I noticed how each plant was in a different stage of growth. But all of the plants still had signs of winter, of dead material that was still visible.
Then I had a weird thought… What would we look like if our growth was as visible as plants? What signs of our old self would be visible? What would our growth look like?
It is still early for the plants around our house. Some have almost shed all the dead material and are close to being in full bloom. Others are still at the beginning stages of growth with more dead stems than green leaves. But isn’t that the same for us? Each of us at different stages of our development. Individually fighting through the dead material so that we can fully bloom. And, like the plant pictured above, that stage of shedding our past is not pretty. It takes time and nurturing.
No matter what stage you are at in your season of growth, summer is almost here. Take some time to finish pruning winter’s effects so that you can bloom.
I arrived at work just before 7 o’clock. The maintenance crew is sweeping the snow from the parking lot, but the section I usually park in is untouched. It is an unblemished field of white. I feel guilty pulling into, what I hope is, my parking spot. I have no idea if I am between the yellow lines. I know I am close because I recognize the shape of the bush that I park by.
I collect my computer, coffee cup, and my Vikings Tervis cup. The air is cold. It quickly hurts my nostrils. My breath a heavy cloud in front of me. I watch as maintenance zooms around the parking lot in their little tractors, sweeping away the snow. I head to my office, snow lightly crunching under my feet as I traverse across the white stillness. My mind heavy with life and work. On an impulse I turn to take a picture of my steps for my 365 project.
As I put my phone back into my pocket I think about how I am the first person to walk on this snow this morning. Then how in a few minutes the maintenance guys will clear away my steps. How more cars will settle in their spots for the day, and when I walk back to my car my steps will be gone. If it warms up enough, there will only be slush left on the concrete.
But isn’t that life? Isn’t this a metaphor for every morning of our lives? Each day we are given the opportunity to make our mark on the day. Yes, life, and other people, will impact our day. Our lives are all connected, we can not or should not shy away from that fact. And yes, some days it feels like we have to find our way back to the car by jumping puddles or stomping off slush from our shoes before we go home.
But that is the point. Our lives are worth making those steps each day. Even knowing that the prints may be gone by the end of the day because we know we took them. My hands (or feet) will never be saved in concrete. I know my life is meant to walk in snow, that my prints are only seen by me. And that is OK because I made them, crooked left step and all.
As we have done for four years, each person in my family has decided on a word for the year. My word is:
This one is unique in the sense that it encompasses many different parts of my life, yet brings everything to a central point (yes, I know what I just did there).
I am not sure what the next year will bring. I have goals I want to achieve. But this year I am concentrating on my center. I think that this work will have a domino effect on the success of my goals. When I think about my word, obviously, a wheel comes to mind, but it is a true metaphor for what I want to accomplish. It seems like all the action is on the outskirts of a wheel. It is there that you see the movement. The turning. The center seems to not move at all, but without a strong center the wheel can not move. Ever see a wheel when the axle is off center? How it wobbles, how hard it is to control.
A strong center is needed for a wheel to move, to spin, to make progress.
I have goals to meet this year, but I am only going to make it by strengthening the center… What is your word for this year?
The lyric above comes from a song, “Fix My Eyes,” by for King & Country.
This is a postcard I have kept from my coaching days at Pawnee City, it is on my cubical wall right above my computer.
On January 20, 2013, David Goggins broke the world record for the most pull-ups in 24 hours, 4,030. But he actually failed twice before he broke the record. In an interview on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu, David shares that he did 67,000 pull-ups just in training for the record.
What goal are you pursuing today? Or is that goal on the back burner, always nagging at you but life, job, car payment, or any other reason you want to talk about keeps getting in the way.
You can’t achieve anything unless you’re in the process of achieving it. You can write your goal down, post it on Twitter, even have a Vision Board. But until you put yourself in the middle of actually doing something to achieve that goal, nothing will change.
I know all the hurdles, the fears, the doubts, I fight them, too. But you don’t know your strength, you don’t know your heart, until you fight for that goal. Yes, you will fail. Get knocked down. It will hurt.
Get back up because that simple, powerful motion will reveal more about you than any mirror.
We find more than faith in our battles, we find ourselves.
Last night my iPhone alerted me that there was an iOS update. I set my phone to update during the night. This morning as I was preparing to make blueberry muffins my phone alerted me that it did not process the update because the phone was not connected to a power source.
I started to think about that alert message as I got out the mixing bowls, muffin mix and other ingredients for our Sunday breakfast. Could not update because it wasn’t connected to a power source.
As so often happens I started to think about life. Maybe it was the early hour of the morning or that I had not had my coffee yet, but that alert message got me thinking on a deep level.
Could not update because it wasn’t connected to a power source.
Isn’t that true for us?
Let me explain.
First, updating or improving ourselves. Whatever we want to improve; our health, attitude, the way we treat people. It is an act of updating. Updating ourselves to a new level. As coaches and teachers, we ask our students and athletes to do that, to become the best version of themselves.
Second, a power source. This is where my thoughts got deep… Because isn’t this the truth? That we can’t truly update ourselves unless we are connected to a power source. What that power source is, is up to the individual. It can be God, Love (as I have blogged about in my Love series), personal standards, goals, or other sources that provide a WHY for our lives.
Be honest, think of the times you tried to change something in your life… why did you succeed? Why did you fail? I bet the difference was because of your power source, your why. As I thought about my own kids, my past students, and athletes, I succeed at helping them be their best when I could articulate for them why it was important or tapped into their power source. Change takes time, it is difficult.
We can try all we want to do things better, but without a power source we will always get the alert that the update could not be completed.
Like so many other times, life finds a way to reveal a lesson to me through unique events. This time it was my son’s conference cross country meet and a motivational YouTube video. Both of them showed me the importance of running in the rain.
First my oldest son.
Last week he set his personal record (PR) by over a minute at his conference cross country meet. What was even more impressive is that he did it during a rainy day. Now it wasn’t a downpour when he ran, but it had rained all day, and the course was affected (the title picture is part of the course). My son didn’t complain. He ran. He ran the best time of his career.
A couple of days ago I came across a motivational YouTube video that highlighted speeches by Eddie Pinero (a motivational speaker and founder of the site: Your World Within). One section of the video had Eddie Pinero using the example of getting up early to run but it is raining. He expanded on the importance of getting out of bed and running in the rain, even though no one would blame you for staying in bed. But that doesn’t get you toward your goal.
These two separate moments highlighted for me – and this is a vulnerable statement from me – how I had not been working for my goals like I should. I needed to start running in the rain. And if you are struggling with accomplishing your goals, maybe you need to start running, too. Here’s what running in the rain does for us.
Pride
As a coach I always presented to my athletes the definition of pride as knowing you have done your best.
My oldest son has earned the right to feel proud. He has worked hard and ran his best time in bad conditions at the conference meet. As a coach, that was what I asked of my athletes, to be their best at the most important times. My son did that.
Eddie reinforced this idea in his speech. He expressed how you would be the only one who knew what you went through as you stood on the podium. The crowd saw you win, not knowing how many times you had to run in the rain.
Successful Habits
I love the way Eddie talked about habits. He explained how hard it would be to actually run in the rain the first time. But as you build the habit, the weather becomes a nonfactor. The running (or habit) becomes important, rain or shine.
My son also taught me this. He puts in hundreds of miles in the summer, but he also works on his other interests in the summer and on the weekends. He has created habits that allow him to succeed.
The Strength to Live Your Goals
This is the most important aspect, but also the most complex. So, let me see if I can connect the dots to reveal how running in the rain builds the strength to live an authentic life.
First, Eddie points out that when we focus on the weather, or external forces, we live our lives on a shallow level. We simple react to life. We make excuses and rationalize why our goals or dreams are not achieved.
Now my son has complained about the weather or the course, but I have never heard him make an excuse. He is so mentally strong. Not just with cross country, but with all his activities, and that is part of the strength running in the rain builds. It is not just to endure the weather, it is the strength to focus on what we want to do with our lives. To be able to adapt to external factors, not react. To be able to stay focused on achieving our goals, to live an authentic life.
My son and a motivational video by Eddie Pinero has shown me that it’s time to start running in the rain – I have dreams and goals I want to achieve. I have been making too many excuses. So I got my shoes sitting by the door and I am thankful for their wake-up call.
I would like to inform you that I am resigning from my position as an active member of this company, effective today.
Thank you for the support and the opportunities that you have provided for me during the last 46 years. I have truly enjoyed my time, and am grateful for the encouragement you have given me while I pursued my professional and personal goals.
I know it is unprofessional to express why one resigns from a position, but I feel it is appropriate to articulate the issues in the company to help it move forward and find its way back to being great. There are many small things that have deteriorated over the years, but I believe that there are three main areas that the company could focus on that would take care of the small things.
Issue One: Communication
I know that the World is a huge company and that individual departments are busy with their own responsibilities, but there is no communication anymore. Not from the the top or between departments. Over time I have come to feel disconnected and isolated in this company. No one gathers at the watercooler or staff room to talk anymore. Also, we’ve stopped having activities that bring us together, like Christmas parties or company picnics. Everyday we sit behind our screens, ignoring those around us. Unless there is gossip, then it gets ugly but I will address that with the second issue.
Issue Two: Culture
I am unsure how it changed, even though I think the issue of communication has a role in the negative culture the company now has, I can’t pinpoint when the company’s culture became so negative. Every department blames the other departments for any failures the world has. And it has now come to the point that it is OK to publicly demoralize people in the other departments. It is not just gossip, but in memos and other official channels of communication I see negative and crushing name calling, blame, and threats for every employee of the world to see. The company’s culture is now divisive and walled. Each department only looks out for itself, striving to be seen as a great department. We do not work together or work through differences for the betterment of the company, which is highlighted in the last issue.
Issue Three: Mission Statement
What is our mission statement? I haven’t seen it in awhile. Did we become too big to worry about having a foundation for our company? Even if it seemed like a cliche, a mission statement reminded us of our WHY. It highlighted the importance of our work and created a bond between employees. It focused our decisions and helped handle differences between departments. If asked, I couldn’t tell you what the World’s mission statement is. I don’t think any employee really knows. Each department has an unofficial mission statement, but the company has lost its own years ago.
If I can be of any assistance, please let me know. I would be glad to help however I can. I will be starting my own adventure as a writer.
At times we can be on the right road, but that doesn’t mean traveling through life is easy, sometimes we come across our own personal fog.
I stopped this morning to take the picture above. You can just see the fog covering the road. Sometimes the fog fades quickly as you drive, but other times you have to slow down because the fog is so thick and lasts for the whole commute.
Fog is a cloud made of tiny water droplets that is suspended in the atmosphere. In life our fog is made up fear, doubt, self-criticism and other negative emotions. And sometimes that fog just rolls in without any notice. That makes life hard, even when we are on the right road.
So, how do we get through our own fog?
First, understand that most of the time the fog dissipates. Emotions come and go. We can wake up in a bad mood, but by the end of the day we are having a better day. No particular reason why, just that time passed.
Other times, especially with doubt, fear, or being critical, the fog has to be driven through. You have to focus on your driving, in the case for life it can be your goals that you stay focused on. As a track coach I would talk with my athletes about the voice in their head telling them to stop, or slow down. That voice can be loud, but it can be defeated by focusing on their workout, understanding how the pain was building strength to achieve their goals.
Driving through fog is not easy, but it can be done. Give yourself time and focus on your life, your goals, and you will make it to your destination.
I am not saying anything you don’t already know. Whether I am writing about fatherhood, love, school, or any other topic, my views are found in books, YouTube videos, and other blogs. At the moment of writing this there are already 2 million new post on the internet according to WorldOMeters. In fact even opposing views are found through these channels. My beliefs are centered on my personal story and do correlate with many other people, even you at times. I am not alone in my views, and neither are you.
I am not popular. On Twitter I only have 2,477 followers. I only have 272 friends on Facebook. On Instagram I only have 58 followers, and my most like photo has 19 likes (I do have some videos with more likes, but I think it is because my sons are the subject of the videos, so they share them). Katy Perry has 100,365,254 followers on Twitter. Cristiano Ronaldo has 103,576,615 likes on Facebook. Beyoncé set the record for the most likes on Instagram with her pregnancy photo; 7.8 million likes in 24 hours.
I don’t have a focus. Most of the advice on making a blog work is centered around focusing your message, or branding your identity. There is also the advice about writing great headlines or building email lists and that post should be short. I use the free version of WordPress, and have a basic layout. No pop-ups or banners to get you to follow me. I do have a Flickr feed, though, I think that is cool.
So why am I even writing this? Why have I been writing a blog (in some form) since 2009?
Because of you.
Because of me.
Because of life.
Because it is all connected…
If there is one post, one sentence, or idea that helps you make your life better, it was worth writing it. I may never meet you in person, but that doesn’t mean our lives are separated. Honestly, if you think about it, technology allows us to build powerful connections that can make a positive difference in this world. And not just in a grand way, but in our everyday life. A single tweet, picture we share, or reading a post can make a bad day better. That’s awesome.
So, thanks for not reading this post today. I hope it has been a bright spot in your day. I’ll talk (write) to you soon.
Do you remember the first time you fell in love? Or had your first serious heartbreak? Both of these moments highlight the second answer to Why Love, and that is Joy.
Without getting too deep, I am going to touch on the magical aspect of love but also reveal the importance of why choosing love allows us to feel joy.
So let’s go back in time to that heart pounding time when that certain someone made you see the world in a whole new light. Falling in love. Do you remember how your priorities changed? How even rainy days were awesome? How you were awestruck by their eyes and totally lost any sense of time when you were with them? Life was so good.
Just for a second, let’s deal with the heartache. How dark and painful it felt. I know the argument that love breaks your heart, but that is wrong. People break your heart, not love.
Falling in love and sadly the pain of heartbreak reveal the strength love has in revealing joy in our life. I use romantic love because many of us have been through this roller coaster of emotion. But joy comes from all aspects of life. My children have brought me to tears of joy as I watched them play with bubbles. I have lost the sense of time sitting on my patio with a cup of coffee. I have jammed out to a favorite song on the way to work. Life has been so good.
And yes, life has beaten me down. I have had serious dark days… but that is the crux of this answer. I believe that when we choose Love, it allows us to see the real beauty of this life. By seeing and acknowledging that beauty leads us to feel joy.
No, Love does not remove the hardships of life. Two years ago I wrote about the strength it takes to feel joy. This reveals how connected the choice of Love is in our life. Love brings us success in our life, it builds strength, it brings us joy. It is a cycle that creates an awesome life that can handle the hardships we encounter. But in the next post I am going to reveal the most important reason to choose Love. And I read it in a book…
Below is the song that I quoted earlier in the post.
It is all Connected 