Tag Archives: sports

July 8, 2021 · 10:42 pm

Defeated Again

Do you want to know my win / loss record lately?

Tennis with my oldest son tonight 1 and 1. (He won the regular set, I won the shortened one)

Disc Golf with both my sons 0 and who knows.

Lightsaber battles with my second daughter 0 and like 28.

Pool basketball? 1 and too many to count.

Regular basketball? Against my sons? Haven’t won any serious games in years.

Chutes and Ladders (and other games)? I win sometimes. I’m a pretty good Pitch player.

Lately, I have been defeated in lots of different activities. And it is a bitter but mostly sweet feeling. These defeats are milestones for my children and for me. They are important for a number of reasons.

For my children they gage where they are in life regarding their mental and physical stages. I am, as a father, a measuring stick for them. There is a special joy they feel when they win against me. I see it in their faces, the way their eyes shine. I also see their frustration when I win. Either way, they are building strength, discovering what they are capable of. And not just physically. They have to handle their emotions, win or lose. Playing against dad (and mom sometimes with tennis) gives my children a space to develop who they are. 

The second factor is that we build memories, win or lose, great shots are made, awesome hands are dealt, funny jokes shared, and sometimes bandages are needed (driveway basketball is not forgiving). Playing allows us to live life fully. The moments get retold at the dinner table. The disc golf shot on the first hole. The 9 bid because I didn’t have the 2. Switching to the other color of lightsaber but still losing.

As a father, I get to see my children grow. I get to teach them, through playing, life lessons that I know will be needed in their efforts to reach their goals. Yes, sometimes in the activity (like basketball) but also in the hardships that life has. I influence how they handle winning and losing. My children get tested playing with me before they are tested by life, tested by an opponent, tested by their own doubt and fear. They build their strength by defeating me. 

And I love it.

I may never win a basketball game again. Or a lightsaber battle. But you better believe that I will be up to playing with my kids, no matter their age or my record. I’m their father, that’s what I do.

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March 22, 2020 · 2:43 pm

pandemic thoughts

Today is March 22, 2020.

Tomorrow our school will be continuing learning online.

Yesterday, at three different times, cars ran red lights. When I returned to my van after grocery shopping there were four, FOUR, shopping carts around my van.

We made chocolate chip muffins today.

The newspaper today had an article about what to do if a person’s home life is violent during this time.

Sports, concerts, and eating out have come to a halt. But home cooking, games of pitch and speed, and movie nights are popular in my household.

And just like other times, I wonder about the deeper meaning of it all.

Another article’s headline in today’s paper read “The New Normal”. But I disagree with that idea. This will pass. It will take time, but it will pass. Will anything change? Does it need to? Here is what I’ve learned so far…

First, everyday life can change for so many reasons. We have the popular idea to live life before you die, but honestly, our lives can “change” at any moment. This pandemic is forcing people to evaluate their lives in new ways, to actually see what their foundations are.

For some people they are forced to spend time with their family. You would think this would be a good thing. Sadly, it is not. As an educator, I know that some students are hungry right now, lonely, and even afraid. My heart has trouble with this knowledge for two reasons. One, because of my past. The second part is the question on how this is possible. I don’t know the answer. Family is one of my WHYs. I am not a perfect father or husband, but I take pride in building a home for my wife and children. I don’t understand why others don’t.

Activities are part of our culture and part of my family’s everyday life. Many people are talking about how the pandemic is revealing who is important in our country. The situation shows the disproportionate importance we give to athletes and celebrities. I agree, but that is not the factor I am talking about. This situation has taken away the opportunities many people have worked hard for. This is a negative outcome of our current state that hurts.

Nebraska was one of the few states to still play their boy’s state basketball tournament. As a dad, I was blessed to see my son play. However, all spring activities are on hold and will mostly likely be cancelled. I am the senior class sponsor for my school. That means I am responsible for graduation. We haven’t dealt with that situation yet. Our school’s musical is on hold. My second son is a high jumper. My oldest daughter doesn’t get to take her art field trip.

Sports, concerts, all activities are good for us as individuals and as a society. Honestly, even when you go out to eat at a local restaurant you are experiencing someone’s dream come true. Have we placed too much importance on these activities? Yes, but it is the wrong importance. Being a fan of a football team should not be a life or death situation. It should be a celebration of the opportunity to witness someone realizing their goals. To share in the joy of individuals doing something that sparks their spirit. This situation is disrupting people’s pursuit of their dreams. That is a heavy cost.

But maybe as a society we can celebrate these activities when we get to chase our dreams again.

I think that is enough rambling for now, thank you for reading.

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July 25, 2018 · 8:01 am

Just Decide

Woman Running

Sounds simple doesn’t it. If you want to be successful just decide to be. The next day you will have all your goals met. You will be happy. Life will be easy!

Many of you are probably laughing at this post at the moment. We know success is not that easy. We know that success takes work. That there will be failures and challenging times as we strive to achieve.

But Will Smith is not wrong. And the process is that simple. It is a decision. The hard part is being able to make the decision and live by it. As a coach, I’ve seen athletes make the switch and have athletic success beyond what they imagined.

I framed the idea a little different than Will Smith does, I emphasized the importance of personally making a choice to succeed. My athletes wanted to win, to succeed, to make it to state. That was why they were out for the sport. Yet, success came when they decided to work because they wanted to, not because I said they should.

In different ways I would ask them “Are you running because I said to or are you running because you choose to work for your goals?” Again, I asked this question in different ways and at different times, but it always boiled down to the choice of the athlete. Are you doing this because I said to, or because you are working toward your goals.

And when my athletes made the switch, made the decision to work toward their goals… what a difference! I could share so many success stories with you, but that is not the purpose of this post. Understand there was still challenges to overcome for my athletes. That success came quickly for some and for others it took years, but they achieved their goals.

Success isn’t easy, but the choice is. Decide to work. Decide to work for your goals. Just decide.

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June 7, 2017 · 12:30 pm

Why Love: Success Part 2

Collage of cake, computer, and football team

Love is the foundation to many of the characteristics that allow us to be successful at work, in sports, and life in general. Below are three articles with their list of characteristics for success. After you read through the traits, I’ll discuss how Love is the foundation for some of these.

The 6 Critical Qualities of the World’s Best Captains

(From Janssen Sports Leadership Center)

  1. The Best Captains are Relentlessly Competitive and Compelled to Win
  2. The Best Captains Care Passionately
  3. The Best Captains Respect Others
  4. The Best Captains are Honest and Trustworthy
  5. The Best Captains Encourage their Teammates
  6. The Best Captains are the Hardest Workers

7 Qualities Of A Good Employee and Candidate (According to Research)

(From Jibe)

  1. Strong work ethic: Setting and achieving goals
  2. Dependable: Consistently following through
  3. Positive attitude: Creating a good environment
  4. Self-motivated: Working effectively with little direction
  5. Team-oriented: Making the most out of collaboration
  6. Effective communicator: Understanding the benefits of clarity
  7. Flexible: Adapting in a meaningful way

What Your Marriage Needs to Survive

(From The Good Men Project)

These traits come from UCLA’s Family Studies Center that researched 1,500 couples who had been together for five or more years.The study revealed six common characteristics:

  1. There was a physical attraction between them.
  2. They were in the relationship out of clear choice rather than out of obligation or fear of being alone.
  3. They shared fundamental values, beliefs, interests, and goals.
  4. They were able to express anger clearly and directly and they resolved differences through communication and compromise.
  5. They experienced laughter, fun, pleasure, and play with each other.
  6. They were able to express support for each other and support each other’s activities, interests, and careers.

As a reminder here is my definition:

Love: the choice to care about a person, thing or idea, and to act accordingly.

I am going to start with the article, “What Your Marriage Needs to Survive” to look at how Love leads to success. In doing my research for this post I was struck by two of the characteristics revealed in the article.

They were in the relationship out of clear choice rather than out of obligation or fear of being alone.

They were able to express support for each other and support each other’s activities, interests, and careers.

Combined, these two traits show Love in action. Choosing to care about another person and to act accordingly, in this case to show support for their partner’s interests. This holds true for any relationship, really.  Now, it might seem logical that Love is a part of marriage, so let’s look at the other two articles.

Hard work is listed as a trait for an employee and for a captain of a team. Hard work is Love.

Hard work is the choice to care about your goals or success and to act accordingly. To do what it takes to reach those goals.

For both Love and Success, you have to act accordingly. Team is also mentioned for both employees and sports. The concept of team is Love.  To care about your teammates and your team’s goals, then to act accordingly. In the intro video with Gina Auriemma in the last post, he highlights this trait through the importance of body language of the players on the bench.

Love is not easy though. Success is not always guaranteed, at least in terms of wins and losses or landing your dream job. Life is too complex. But Love will lead to strength and true success in relationships, work, and other areas of life. And that type of success can be measured. It is called Pride. Pride is knowing you gave your best at whatever you are doing, that you chose to care and acted accordingly.

Why Love? The first answer is that it leads to success. Love is the foundation to traits that help us in sports, jobs, and relationships.

But it is not the only reason to choose Love. In the next post I will discuss how Love leads to Joy.

 

 

 

 

 

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January 10, 2012 · 8:53 am

Quicksand

We have all been there…

The biggest step in surviving quicksand is to stay calm, breathe, and slowly make your way out of the quicksand.  Most deaths associated with quicksand come from exhaustion, from fighting so hard against the quicksand a person has no energy left.

Surviving emotional quicksand is no different. Stay calm, breathe and understand that it is going to take time for the situation to change.  It is this aspect, time, that may be the hardest component for us to work with.  Because there is another aspect about emotional quicksand that the movie The Replacements and the character Falco, speaking in the clip, works through, confidence.

Because it takes time to work through emotional quicksand, doubts set in, and they set in fast.  Unlike sports, there is no post-game celebrations, wild-card game, or double elimination tournaments.  There is life. There is only this season, this record that we set now.  So doubt can raise its voice in our daily life, driving our need to change things quickly. Which then backfires on us and doubt gains influence and we can become exhausted.

Breathe, stay calm, and understand that it takes time.

The most important thing to remember though is, like sports, life gives us teammates…

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November 29, 2011 · 10:06 am

Where does the Learning go?

Photo courtesy of Centura student Angelica

What do your students do with their homework once you have handed it back?

Photo courtesy of Centura student Angelica

I battle with this issue even today, in some ways even more now that I do not have a classroom to even display some of the work my students would do.  What do my students do with their homework?  There are times that a worksheet is a great tool for a lesson, and I expect those worksheets to end up in the recycle box.  I might have used them as a note taking activity. Then using the worksheets, have a class discussion.  As a teacher I try to build assignments that intertwine or build on each other.  In the English Composition class, the students wrote two speed essays that are to be building blocks for their persuasive essay.  But are my students already condition to see their school work as disposable, and worse, unimportant?

Photo courtesy of Centura student Angelica

This morning I checked my kids’ homework, the same worksheets they have been doing all year.  My second son has a 100-math problem worksheet; he gets it right every day.  When can he do something else?  My second son also gets a ring of flash cards to study every couple of weeks.  When the unit is over, he hands that ring of cards back in.  Supposedly, never to interact with those words again (there is an app for that).

My second son has been participating in gymnastics this year.  We started him with the beginners, a 45-minute session.  He is a typical boy, knees and elbows always bruised or healing from a scrape.  He jumps, he tumbles, he would live in a jungle gym if he could.  Halfway through the first six-week session the gymnastics teachers asked us if they could move him to the next level.  He had progressed quickly through the basics.  If you have ever coached a sport, this is how it works.

Start with the basics; build on the basics to improve performance and expectations.  The basics are never forgotten; they are reinforced in different ways throughout a practice. Both the coach and the athletes also develop their expectations of performance as skills improve. Then comes game time, the reason for the basics.  The time to express the skills and expectations.  The really interesting part is that no matter if the game was a victory or loss, there will be a practice.  There will be adjustments, basics will be reinforced, and expectations set for the next game.

This morning I checked my second son’s 100-math problem worksheet.  He got it right again…

Photo courtesy of Centura student Angelica

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