Tag Archives: thank you

100,000 Words

It Is All Connected. My little corner of the internet where I have spent seven years writing about life. I hope I have inspired readers, made them laugh, and maybe think about things at a deeper level. In a few lines I will hit a crazy milestone; 100,000 words on just this blog. (I do have two other blogs.) I know it is cheesy, but I wanted a certain word to be that 100,000 word, while also reminiscing about my writing journey. I have about ten words to that milestone, the word is…

WHY

There it is.

I considered lots of words to be the milestone word. Words that reflect what I believe, what I do, who I am. But, in the end, the word WHY reflects a central idea to my life. Answering the question, understanding my reasons for doing things has given me a clear, yet still difficult, path to follow in my career, family, and personal life. Now that I have passed that milestone, let’s look back and discuss WHY I write.

This blog has been an adventure. 2012 was the second year of this blog and the highest word count: 21,183, yet only one like for the whole year. Last year, 2019, was the highest year for likes: 281. In one way, not very impressive. I only have just over 8,000 views total for my blog. In our social media culture this means I am an unknown. Yet, I know that people have read my posts.

  • There are 105 different countries that have read my blog.
  • For the last 5 years someone has read a post I have written every single day.
  • Over a thousand times, someone has found my blog because of a search engine result.
  • My “National Honor Society Speech” is the single most read blog post.

So, why do I write? 

First, I just have to. Writing is the lens I see the world through, especially my poetry. (You can read all my poems I wrote for the Poetry Month Challenge at my creative writing blog.) I have notebooks filled with poems. I understand the pain and joy of this world through the written word.

Which then brings me to the second reason I write, to connect with people. Every writer wants to know that someone has enjoyed their works. It means that a part of the writer has made an impact with another person in this world. That is a powerful thing. I hope my works have inspired, moved, enlightened others. Simple as that.

The final reason is that writing, creating, is fun. I love the process of creating a blog post. Creating a header, finding a video, deciding on the layout. It brings me joy, even when I write about the hardships of this life.

Here is to the next 100,000 words. And thank you, to you reader. Whether this is the first post you have read, or the hundreth, I am glad we could connect.

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Open Letter To My Younger Self

I have become a fan of The Players’ Tribune. A couple of my favorite essays are from Danny Woodhead and Ray Allen. (Not to mention the recent essay from Isaiah Thomas, but his doesn’t fit this blog theme). Danny and Ray write a letter to their younger selves. I wrote a blog similar to this idea, “Staying True To My Younger Self,” but it focused on my writing.

I’ll turn 46 in a few weeks. And this thought about what advice I would give my younger self keeps storming my heart. So, I thought I would get the idea out onto paper…

Dear Younger Me,

It is amazing to think that I am just over the halfway mark of this life. The first half seemed to take so long to happen, all the change and growth and heartache that has occurred in these 46 years is crazy to think about. But, the years seem to be gaining speed, and life is going by way too fast. The oldest son is a junior in high school and the youngest daughter just turned four. I have had five different professional positions. We have a minivan with almost 100,000 miles and still a few months to pay it off!

Be ready, you are going to need to work on a few things. This letter is going to be tough to write, I hope you understand it when you read it.

First, forgive them. Everyone. Do it now because if you don’t, each day adds weight to your heart and it becomes harder to forgive. In fact I still haven’t. I can’t seem to let go of the pain and disappointment and the what ifs. Ironically, part of the problem is the work you will do to create a better life for yourself and your family. I’m not father or husband of the year, but the dinner table is often filled with laughter. There are hugs and bedtime stories. Movie nights with too much candy and simple moments of joy that take my breath away. But I haven’t forgiven certain people. You know who I mean, so forgive them as soon as you can. You can still live your own life without them, but your heart won’t be burden with the weight of anger and pain.

Second, I hope you read this in time, but don’t quit football. Don’t make that mistake. It will be your greatest regret.  Also, write more, push to become the writer you have always dreamed of since elementary school.  I’ve learned that the door of opportunity only stays open for so long before it closes. And when you choose to close that door, it can get locked and you have to let a dream die. Football. Other dreams can still be achieved. Writing. But you have to find an unlocked window to climb through. And sometimes that window is on the forty third floor. You have to struggle more than if you would have truly pursue your goals when the door was open.

Third, tell people thank you and that you love them. Let them in. Not everyone. But the people who are helping you, sometimes believing in you when you are not. You might think you will have time, but you won’t. Mr. Holt will pass away before you can tell him thank you for believing in you. There are others, like the Hudsons, Scott, and Mrs. Lane, who you will take for granted while you grow up. Let them know you are grateful, today. “Thank you,” might be the hardest thing to say in life because it reveals how you were affected by someone else.  For that moment you allowed someone into your life with an open heart and you are letting them know that by saying thank you.

And finally, stay true to who you are. I know you will do this at times, you will make hard choices because deep down you listened to the quiet but strong voice. Other times you will feel lost and hurt and wonder why life is so dark. That happens when you lose your focus, when you let others decide your future. Your path will be clearer if you continue to make choices that align with who you are (and what your goals are).

You are going to make it. At the halfway mark of life you will be amazed at how far you’ve come (and that you have driven two minivans as a dad). It won’t be easy, but I hope you take my advice so that when you arrive here you would have experienced more joy than heartache. But even if you don’t take my advice, you will look ahead to the second half of your life and you will know, even though the years are speeding up, that they will be filled with love.

                                                                                             Sincerely

                                                                                              You at 45

P.S. Remember this song?

 

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