I was inspired to write a poem this morning. By posting it here I can no longer submit it to any lit magazines, but I like it so much I still wanted to share it. If you enjoy the poem, please consider sharing it with someone who enjoys poetry, too.
“To the young girl dancing alone in the street waiting for a parade to start”
People don’t really believe me when I say I have a wide range of musical genres that I like. They don’t believe that I listen to Jazz, Rap, or Barry Manilow. This is the case regarding the artist for album three, Kirk Whalum and his album, In This Life.
Now I know this album has guest singers, but Kirk has his moments in every song, his saxophone playing elevates the voices in those songs. This album is an emotional experience. I used to play it during study time in my classroom when I first started teaching, and even had a few students who became fans of Kirk Whalum. That says something that teenagers loved this album, too.
The opening title track, “In This Life” is a powerful reflection on love. The kind of love that we hope for, the kind that stands strong through the hardships and wrongs we have received or done in life.
Now love is a theme for this album, and I am a sucker for any type of love song, but track two is a unique but truthful look at our desire to find love. The cover of “‘Til I Get It Right” is sung by the known jazz and soul singer, Vaneese Thomas. She is perfect for this song. You feel the hopeful hurt when she sings, “So I’ll just keep on fallin’ in love ’til I get it right.”
Not every song on this album has vocals. “Peaceful Hideaway” is the first instrumental piece and it does carry the listener away from the world and softens the hurt or worries they might have.
“Living For The City” is a wonderful instrumental piece, it brings up the energy of the album. It is joyful in its expressions and you can’t help but nod your head a little to it.
Heartbreak is hard to deal with, even with time. “When The Night Rolls In” is a truthful look at how time doesn’t always heal our hearts. It is so real in its theme, I just sing along, remembering the times I felt like this.
After 28 years of marriage, I understand the song, “The Way I Need You Now,” on a different level. “No, the way I need you now / Is gonna take our faith, it’s gonna take our honesty / There’s so much waiting for us” is a powerful aspect of a relationship as it changes, as it grows. This song hits so much harder for me now.
I have a number of albums of Kirk Whalum’s, but In This Life, hits my soft spot for love songs but is also a wonderful listening experience as I get lost in his saxophone.
The first blog post using blueberry muffins was in 2008. The latest was in August 2024 (Smashed Blueberries). The original blog post that started this unplanned symbol can be read in my book, Blueberry Muffins and Other Thoughts. The following older post is the third time I used our Sunday morning routine of blueberry muffins to discuss life. This post was originally posted in 2009.
“Blueberry Muffins III”
It was 6:07 a.m. Sunday morning. My little girl had another rough night; we had not had a good night’s rest in two weeks. My oldest son was already up. I could hear the TV upstairs. He never sleeps in.
I quickly changed my little girl’s diaper, breathing in and out. I was frustrated, I was depressed, this was not starting out well. On Friday I learned that I was not chosen for a job I thought I had interviewed well for. It was just another low in a year that has been challenging to say the least. My confidence has been shaken this year. My spirit bruised. Climbing up the stairs, I tried to keep the lid on my emotions.
As I asked my son to hold his sister so I could get the coffee going, I noticed that he was watching a family movie. It was a DVD of the Christmas break when he was 3 and his brother was 1. It was our first Christmas in our present house.
“Could you make the muffins, dad? I want to watch this.”
“Yea, I can, if you feed your sister.”
“OK.”
I made the bottle, got coffee brewing, and the muffins in the oven as the movie played in the background.
“Dad, it’s the ‘Whoa’ game.”
My second son had a crazy game when he was 1. He would simply drop on his butt and say “Whoa!” He would do this forever.
I sat down in a chair and watched. The whole movie was just about being home during break. Film of us singing, dancing, and just having fun. I was amazed to see how things had changed. We were watching the movie on a flat screen TV, but in the movie, you could see our little 12” combo VHS/TV we had on a little cabinet in the living room. We have a bigger dining table now, and the couches are different too. Plus, we have three girls in our family now. I marveled on how life has progressed in six years.
Then my mind wandered to my professional life. The frustrations, the almost moments, the confusion of not knowing why things have worked out they way they have. What to do next? However, as the DVD continued to play, I started to think about tomorrow, about what I see in the future. It was family. It was the start of our summer trip to Lincoln and Omaha. It is going to games, or school plays. Teaching them how to drive. Sitting under the summer skies trying to get them to see the constellations.
I love teaching, I love coaching. However, my family is my why. I do not know where my professional path will lead. I am still stinging from the disappointments of this year. But, I know that at the end of the day my family will always be my joy.
END NOTE: As I was reading the Sunday paper I was holding my little girl on my shoulder and she let out a crazy like cough. Suddenly a slimy warm sensation ran down my arm. She had regurgitated her milk with the congestion that has been bothering her. A little grossed out, I smiled.
Believe Verb: to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something
“Believe” is my word for 2025.
There are so many reasons for choosing this word, most of them based on the different ways the world tried to break my faith in anything good. And has almost succeeded.
This is the eleventh year of choosing a word to focus on. Some years have been filled with great stories (Living by One Word), other words helped me stay focused on my goals, but this year I am trying to ignite an aspect of my life that feels tired, hopeless, and dark.
There is so much to believe in… and staying focused on seeing those elements in the everyday is important to keeping a clear view of what life is about. It is important for filling the heart, and helping maintain the energy to pursue goals, handle stressful moments, and build a joyful life.
2024 has been a hard year, for a number of reasons. Which I will not elaborate on because Christmas letters are not supposed to be sad and depressing. They are truthful, but should bring some happiness to the readers. So, I will just say 2024 has been a hard year, and leave it at that.
A Christmas letter has a number of purposes. The first is to highlight important events from the past year.
And I know everyone wants to know what my Spotify Wrapped entailed. Prince was my number one artist, again. But thanks to my youngest daughter, Taylor Swift landed in second place! Plus, she had three songs make my top 100 for the year.
My number one song of 2024 was actually a surprise. It is “Satellite” by Harry Styles.
I do like this song… just didn’t know I played it so much. The rest of my top 10 was not surprising.
I spent a lot of time on the road attending different author events (I blogged about some of those events, A Poet Travels 1550 Miles). Those events really kept my spirit filled.
So did producing The Creative Moment podcast with my son. We have recorded 8 seasons so far. And have no plans on stopping anytime soon.
One of the most bitter sweet aspects of life is family. As a dad it is amazing to see each of my children grow and build their lives, but it is also a reminder that time is moving forward. Change happens. New hardships appear, but so do new joys and experiences. Being a dad is enduring the most joyful heartbreak everyday.
I will not complete my reading challenge this year. I try to read 60 books each year. I am projected (got three books I’m reading right now) to finish at 47 books. But that’s OK, I have read some cool books this year. Here are five of my favorite (in no particular order):
1. Nothing But Blackened Teeth by Cassandra Khaw
2. What Happens in Nebraska by Cat Dixon
3. Impossible Knots by K.P. DeLaney (a guest on The Creative Moment)
4. Denison Avenue by Christina Wong
5. Dickens and Prince: A Particular Kind of Genius by Nick Hornby
And last a Christmas letter is meant to stay connected with family and friends, to share joy… and so I wish you a joyful holiday season!
And I’ll end this letter with my 100th song from my most played list:
Friday afternoon my youngest daughter and I played “How Close to the Ceiling Can You Throw the Ball?” A childhood classic!
As we dealt with errant throws and bad attempts at catching the ball when it ricocheted off the ceiling, we made up a crazy theory game, “Theory has it…”
“Theory has it you already missed the catch.”
“Theory has it that you are an elephant on another planet.”
“Theory has it you met Taylor Swift in elementary school.” (She’s a Swifty.)
The theory game got super silly, there were a few good throws at the ceiling, but we spent a lot of time getting up from the floor to retrieve the purple Pizza Ranch ball. There were no phones or screens (we would play Minecraft later). We wasted a lot of time that afternoon. Wasted time on us. Wasted time feeling joy.
Today (Aug 1) is our 26 year wedding anniversary. My word for this year is ‘real’. As I walked early this morning, I spent time reflecting on what these 26 years have taught me. What it has taught me about life and myself. So I’m going to be real about the last 26 years.
Choice
I know it is cliche, in fact I could provide you with thousands of powerful quotes about how our lives are affected by choice. But a cliche has a level of truth to it, and sometimes we shouldn’t ignore that truth of a cliche.
Our lives are our choices.
I’ve written about this before. I have made some important choices in my life, but the last 26 years have taught me some interesting aspects of choice, especially as my family grew. My choices affected more than just me.
The most important aspect of choice I’ve learned is the power of my response to ANYTHING that happens. And this is hard because at any moment I can tear down or build up someone with my response. Most importantly my wife and kids. It is too easy to just be on auto pilot with the routine of life, and that is where I’ve messed up at times, be it an exasperated sigh or a harsh word spoken without me thinking.
It is hard, but not impossible to be aware of our choice in how we respond to events and people.
Another aspect of choice is another cliche in a way, but choose to do what you love. This doesn’t mean you abandon all responsibilities, that will lead you away from happiness. Choosing to do what you love will affect all aspects of your life. Understand the power of that choice. It will influence your job or career. It will change the way you live each day. The way you interact with people. And if you can do what you love as a career, awesome for you! But if you can’t, still do what you love. I don’t make a single cent on my blog, no ads, no subscriptions, but I love writing and sharing. The happiness I get from my writing filters into all the other parts of my life.
But, choosing to do what you love is important on a smaller scale. I’m talking about doing the everyday things you love. If you love watching horror movies, make sure you watch them. If you like ice cream, enjoy a bowl every once and awhile (yes, it’s important to be healthy but being happy affects your health, too). I love playing Minecraft with my daughters. We play at least a couple times a week. Live life by choosing to do what you love.
Life
And then there is the other side of the coin… no choice at all. At times life hits us with events that we are helpless to change. My mom dying of cancer was out of my control. I did and do have control over how I respond. But life will present us with situations that make us feel helpless and lost.
Then there is the connection of life where we have to deal with other people’s choices. The best principal I ever worked with left the school we were working at together. His decision affected more than just my professional life, but I did not have control of his career choices. All I could do was choose how I responded.
This is a factor present in my home everyday! Even now with two of my children building their own lives, the house is still filled with six people and the decisions, both big and small, that we all have to respond to. It could be the simple moment of not liking a favorite food. (Which happens all the time. I swear I need a daily memo of these changes… the fun of #dadlife.) My house is a microcosm of dealing with how intertwined our lives are and the effects of choices that ripple through a single day for each of us.
Life is a complex balance of choice and unexpected moments, both joyful and heartbreaking.
Questions
You would think I had all the answers after 26 years. I don’t. But I have learned to appreciate the questions and find joy in searching for the answers.
Yes, there are still big questions. This past year hit me hard regarding death and in turn the reason for this life. I don’t have a definite answer, but even through the heartache I have been able to connect with people. I have written powerful poetry, while spending time growing spiritually. That is the part of trying to answer the questions that bring depth to our life.
But even the small questions: Can I make an omelet? Leads to learning new skills and fun moments.
I still have big questions that I am working on. Life questions that I have blogged about before. And even though some of them are painful, there is joy in searching for the answers because I discover more about this life.
The last 26 years have shown me that most of my life is in my choices, from career changes to responding to a teenager waking up in a bad mood. And even when life hits with challenging moments that make us feel lost, we have the choice on how we respond. That choice is even present in the questions we seek to answer about ourselves and this life we are given.
Today we were finishing up cleaning the in-laws’ house. In the garage hung about 50 different keys. They hung on different keychains. Only a few were labeled. It was my job to test all the keys on all the doors and padlocks.
Some keys I didn’t have to try because they were old car keys. The head of the key would have the brand stamped on it, so I knew I didn’t need to test them. But other keys were so worn that it was hard to know what kind of key it was.
Out of all those keys I found 6 that worked in a door or a padlock.
Some keys fit in every door, but would not unlock any of them. Other keys didn’t fit any door or lock. I sat there looking at the pile of keys that no longer worked and wondered about which door, which car, what part of life did these keys fit into. Why were the keys still hanging on nails in the garage?
What keys do we need in this life and what keys do we hang on to even though they are no longer needed?
We all have keys that unlock memories, unlocks our joy, and there are doors we try to hide the keys for so that no one can open that door. And then we have doors we keep trying to pry open because we lost or just don’t have the key. We shake the doorknob, slam our shoulder into the door. But it doesn’t budge… I hate it when a goal is sitting on the other side of that door.
I had to test keys today for my in-laws, but recognize that I need to work on my own keys in my life.
Writing a poem every day in April was somewhat easy because there was a prompt each day. I checked the prompt in the morning, then spent the day thinking about ideas, and investigating poetic forms I thought would work.
This blogging challenge isn’t as easy. WordPress does have a few prompts, but they haven’t changed in a few days. And I don’t really feel inspired by them. Add that today was one of those days that had me running around. So, I haven’t had time to just sit and write. It is almost 8 o’clock and I am finally sitting down to blog.
So, why do this? It would be easy to just let a day slide.
It is always easier to just let something slide for a day, then two, maybe a week. Much of what brings us real joy in life can be put off for some other time. Another time when we feel more energized, not drained from work, or the desire to just scroll on our phones keeps our attention.
We can take a walk tomorrow with our kids.
We can get back to the book later.
We can go fishing when it is not so hot.
We can always call / text someone later.
We all let moments go, thinking that we will get to them later. Too many of those moments would bring us joy, happiness, or a sense of accomplishment if we completed them. That’s why they cross our minds, something is telling us we are missing this from our life. But we will let go… for another time.
One of the toughest hurdles is that nothing bad happens if we let the moment go. No one really cares if I write this post or not. Nothing will happen to me. Well, kind of…
First, I will let myself down. I promised myself to do this challenge, as I have done for each month. It is important to hold up your promises to yourself. That is the basis of confidence and sense of living a life you are proud of.
Second, this challenge, as have been the others, are activities I think are important to my life. I love writing. I love this moment, headphones on, notebook or computer open, and the rush of articulating the ideas in my head and heart onto paper. Add the rush of hope that someone will read it… that my words might make a difference for someone, and I am happy.
This is a year of challenges. Some from the chaotic power of life, the twist and turns we all go through. The choices we make with what to do with our time, who we spend it with, and just the simple act of living. But also of challenges I have given myself. Challenges that tap into what brings me joy, allows me to spend my time doing more fulfilling things and feel like I have lived.
But isn’t that the challenge we all have? To live life to the fullest measure of who we are…
For my regular readers, you know the importance of the tradition of making blueberry muffins this morning. We had bacon and scrambled eggs, as is the norm now. We had left over tortillas so I made a breakfast burrito. So, good!
I had to miss a Twitter Space started by one of the members of the writing group I am a part of on Twitter because of breakfast.
Why did I mention that? Because this post is about the power of traditions or routines, both in the real world and the digital world.
Again, if you read my blog on even a semi-regular basis, you know about our family tradition on Sunday morning. How important it is for us to spend time together. My second son who lives in town usually still makes it to Sunday breakfast. It keeps our family bond strong.
The writing group I belong to has a routine of starting spaces, especially in the mornings. In fact many times they are in a space before I have even had a cup of coffee. During the school year, I find time to stop in to listen or chat before the school day starts but not on a consistent basis.
Honestly, their morning routine is no different than my father-in-law meeting with his buddies to drink coffee at the local McDs. It’s just in digital form.
Recently, a handful of the group has been able to meet in real life. They have traveled to see each other, went to open mics, or had ice cream together. I am a little jealous and feel a little bit like an outsider in the group. Not because of anything the group has done, but I share my feelings to reinforce the power of routines or traditions.
Almost every morning the group starts a space. In fact, if a member needs to talk they will start a space at any time and people will join to talk with that person. They have a routine in the morning that connects them. That has built such strong friendships that they are connecting in real life. Relationships are strengthened by shared experiences, shared routines, shared traditions.
It doesn’t matter if it is in real life or in a digital space. It doesn’t have to be every day. My best friend and I have a tradition of making CDs or playlists of our top 20 songs… that year, the last decade, or even of all time. Just depends on when we decide to make the list. (Yes, we will make CD mixes and mail them to each other.)
Traditions or routines are one of the elements to the quality of our lives. Whether it is a personal routine, for me taking a walk each day (lots of writing ideas come to me), or a Twitter Space every morning that allows the members to build friendships by sharing successes or hardships. These purposeful moments bring us joy, help us through tough days, and create meaning to our everyday life.
If life seems shallow or lacking in connections, I challenge you to evaluate your routines. What traditions do you wish you had? What connections do you want to make? There just might be a Twitter Space dedicated to that…
It is all Connected 