Tag Archives: heart

November 19, 2025 · 4:55 pm

Remembering

I have a routine on the weekend when I spend time in my classroom grading. I grab some CDs to listen to as I grade. I pick an album or two, usually an artist I haven’t listened to in awhile. But I always pick two of my mixed CDs. Some of them are titled, like “The 107 Mix”. (Don’t ask how I come up with titles.) But others are not labeled, they sit in their paper sleeve like a musical gift for me to listen to.

Last Sunday I listened to the soundtrack for Reality Bites and the album Vertigo by Billie Myers. I had two mixed CDs. One of them was purple, part of the cool colors line of CDs from Memorex. The other was a plain silver CD with no title. I had a lot of grading to do last weekend. (I actually didn’t get home until 11:30 that night.)

I don’t actually remember when I decided to open the musical gift of the purple mixed CD, but when the first song started, I teared up.

When I worked at Centura I had a group of colleagues that loved sharing music with each other. We even made our “Top 10 Songs of All Time” mixed CDs that we shared with each other. Even now, I will snap a picture of the car radio when one of their songs is playing and text it to them.

The purple CD was not a top ten CD (those were in the slim plastic case and had an insert with the song title and artist listed). This CD was a mix of blues music Mr. Monter had made just for me. This was also part of the friendship in the group. Making CD mixes we thought someone would like.

The opening notes of B.B. King’s “All Over Again” hit me with a wave of joy and sadness. Mr. Monter was my principal at Centura. He passed away over 10 years ago. Yes, I have blogged about Mr. Monter before. I miss him.

But I have a purple CD with a range of blues music that he made for me. OK, I have a number of mixed CDs, but I listened to this one as I graded essays last Sunday. I thought about our golf outings. I thought about my other friends. I thought about how life gives us incredible moments. I thought about how important it was to have a physical artifact of our friendship. (Yes, I got grading done.)

Maybe I am just getting old, but lately I’ve found myself stepping away from the digital aspects of my life. Some people may have noticed on X, I don’t know. But there is magic in the physical world that I can not experience in the digital world. Yes, a song on Spotify can bring back memories, but to be surprised and hold a physical representation of a friendship brings a depth of joy I can feel in my hands and my heart.  There is nothing artificial in that moment. Nothing temporary or forgotten after scrolling.

By the way, I wrote a title for the purple CD on the sleeve, “Remembering a Friend”.

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May 31, 2025 · 4:46 pm

PAD 2025: Poem 3

On day three of the PAD challenge Robert asked us to write a short poem. Nothing longer than 10 lines. Now, there are quite a number of short poetic forms, Robert provided a few in the overview of the prompt for the day. Creating a poem in a few lines, and with the presented rules of a particular form can stretch one’s creative mind.

Throughout the month I wrote some short poems because of how the prompt inspired me. For day three I specifically wanted to use a poetic form. Without any idea for the poem, I decided to write a Shadorma. I like this poetic form (you can expand the poem by making stanzas from the guidelines).

But I had no theme or prompt word to go with it. So, I had a different hurdle to overcome. Here is the poem I wrote that day. I will discuss how I got the idea afterwards.

My heart is

a candle whose flame –

surrounded

by darkness –

jumps and sparks trying to keep

the light from fading.

Writing in poetic forms has a built-in challenge. Meshing my ideas within the rules of a form can take days, even weeks for me to accomplish. Throw in a short poetic form, and write it in a day for the PAD challenge and I sat there drinking my coffee with my head spinning.

With or without a poetic form, short poetry is not easy. The theme and intensity of an idea has to come through in just a few words or lines. And it has to hit the reader, hard. At least I think it does. Short poetry should be like drinking a shot, full flavor that then sits warm in the reader’s mind.

The idea for this poem started with the candle that sat on our island. We tend to keep a candle on the island that we light at the end of the day. Just a part of our family routine. I noticed the burnt wick, dark and frayed. Then, I started to consider how bad the year had been. I then considered the sayings about a single light against the darkness. In my mind I saw a candle in the middle of darkness, how small the light was. I thought about how fast the darkness would be complete if the fire on the wick sputtered and went out.

I had my idea. 

I used my lunch period to work through the poem. I started with the metaphor, “My heart is a candle…”  I actually had to work line 3 and 4 through a few different versions. These lines are only three syllables long. I wanted the tension of the darkness surrounding the flame to come through, to have that tone of sadness to hit and stay throughout the poem.

Here is where punctuation makes a difference in the poem. I could have used commas. But the emdash created the tone I wanted for the weight of the darkness. I then continued with the imagery of the flame that was fighting to stay alive.

Writing this poem encompassed the importance of punctuation, the challenge of short poetry, and how everyday objects, the candle on the island, can be the spark for inspiration. I think the poem also reinforces the power of writing in a poetic form, it can make you really delve into word choice, theme, and expression that you might not normally do.

Let me know what you think of the poem, or of any of the ideas I discuss in this post. Share your thoughts in the comment section.

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May 7, 2025 · 9:15 pm

The Heart Goes…

I have coached football for almost 30 years. When I teach how to tackle, I teach the player to focus their eyes on the opposing players hips. To keep their head up. They should never see the grass of the field. 

I was a running back. I was taught to read my offensive linemen’s numbers. To follow their lead.

I have coached basketball. When a player is dribbling, I instruct them to have their eyes up, never look at the ball.

I have coached every event in track and field. I was a jumper in high school and college. I never looked at the board when jumping. I coach my athletes not to look at the board because the body goes where the eyes go.

But in life, there is another part of ourselves that goes with where the eyes go… that is our heart.

This is important to consider, especially at this moment in our culture. Our eyes are practically glued to screens. As a dad I see parents just sit on a park bench as their child plays. I see it in the hallways of school. I battle everyday to get students to put their phones away. You can see people looking at their phones as they drive.

The heart goes where the eyes go. Just the fact of being locked onto the screen shows what matters to someone. Parents ignore their children, students don’t talk to anyone, people don’t even know when the light changes.

I believe that our actions show what we truly care about. At this moment, I see people care more about their phones than other people, the blue sky, a friend, because their eyes are on a screen. Their heart is for the screen.

I haven’t even discussed what is on the screen, just the action of staring for HOURS a day at a screen. Our heart goes where our eyes go.

We are missing out on relationships, beauty, and a depth to our own lives because we don’t look up. We don’t observe. We don’t think. These actions strengthen our hearts. Good and bad times strengthen our hearts, but only if we look up. Observe the complexity of loving someone. Of striving for a goal. Reacting to another’s tears.  We have to see these to feel them.

If you want to know what condition your heart is in, follow where your eyes go.

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December 30, 2023 · 7:32 pm

One Word 2024

Puzzle piece with the word, Real written on it.

This is the 10th year of my family choosing one word for the new year. Yes, everyone in the family picks their word then we display it in the house. This year we have magnetic puzzle pieces that are displayed on a metal plate we are hanging in the dining area. The puzzle is put together. Our older children have a second puzzle piece to take with them to display in their own homes, but we wanted to have all the family words in the house to symbolize that we are still together even as life is taking everyone on their own journey.

My word for the year is REAL. My first thought was to use IRL, but it felt too ironic to use a texting phrase for the purpose of my word, even though it fit my goal associated with the word. To be more real in my life.

Yes, part of the idea is to not spend so much of my life in front of a screen. At least not doing meaningless things. Obviously many aspects of my life, my poetry, my writing, even friendships, are connected to the digital world. But I want to choose real experiences first, choose people, choose playing games, walking, and conversing with others. Even in the digital world. I want to make the connections I have with people more than a shallow tweet or clicking an icon. 

The other aspect for choosing the word is meant to help me breakout of the wall around my heart / spirit. I wrote about this feeling in November of 2022 in the blog post, “Tigger”. That feeling of living behind a wall was reinforced this year for a number of reasons. Yes, the passing of my mom and mother in law is part of it, but there are other small daily things that have added bricks to the wall I have constructed; from the classroom to the hurdles of chasing my dreams. I’ve spent too much energy adding bricks and mortar around my heart.

I am hoping this word helps in removing them because I don’t know how to get back to feeling happy and unafraid of living freely. 

So my word for 2024 is REAL.

If you participate in the one word idea, share yours in the comment section.

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July 27, 2023 · 9:07 pm

For Love of Poetry

Poetry.

Had an interesting discussion on Twitter about what poetry is, especially with the influence of social media and the spectrum of different divisions, like Spoken Word, Slam, Traditional, and all the other ways people are writing or performing poetry.

I wish I could tell you how many poems I have written… but I can’t. I have notebooks, scraps of paper, digital documents, tweets, and so many other places where I’ve written down words. Most of those words were worked into poetry.

I wrote on the edges of my notebooks during class when I was in school. Now, I speak into my phone on my walks to capture lines or ideas. I share poems on Twitter Spaces, I do poetry lessons for Move Me Poetry, and have been competing in Slams.

I do not earn any money from my poetry. Yes, every once in a while I sell a book, but by no means do I make any money. So, why do I write poetry? Why do I teach poetry when my students roll their eyes when I introduce it?

Because poetry is the closest art form to our human spirit. Yes, the human spirit is found in all the art forms… painting, drawing, music… but poetry, poetry beats with our hearts.

Even if it is the only poem they ever write, my students find the words to express themselves, and so many find courage to stand and speak their hearts to the class. I love walking the bridge back in time with Wordsworth, or walk the streets of Harlem with Langston Hughes. 

I write poetry so that I can breathe. I write poetry so that I can understand myself in this world. I write poetry to build a connection to anyone who reads my words.

I write poetry… to be me.

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July 23, 2023 · 4:54 pm

Passing a Flame

My daughters like to light our candles. We have a new candle that came with a small batch of matches in a cool little jar that has a striking surface on the bottom. They have to be quick to pass the flame from the match to the candle wick. I think that is part of the fun for them. Being quick to pass the flame before it burns the match and their fingers.

This morning, I had a thought as the altar boy used a taper to light the candles before church; that our social interactions are like passing a flame. 

There are two types of flames. One that ignites a person’s spirit so it illuminates their life.

These flames can be

  • a smile.
  • a hug.
  • saying, “I Love You”.
  • checking in on someone by text.

Any number of positive interactions is passing a flame that lights up a person.

The other flame is meant to burn a person, to destroy.

These flames can be

  • rolling your eyes.
  • a snide comment under your breath.
  • a mean comment on social media.
  • ignoring someone.

Any number of negative interactions meant to burn someone.

When we strike the match, we decide what kind of flame we will pass to another person. Are we trying to make life brighter or trying to burn down someone’s heart? 

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July 5, 2023 · 8:17 pm

The Challenge of a Challenge

July challenge, write a blog post each day. 

Day 5… what to write about?

Writing a poem every day in April was somewhat easy because there was a prompt each day. I checked the prompt in the morning, then spent the day thinking about ideas, and investigating poetic forms I thought would work.

This blogging challenge isn’t as easy. WordPress does have a few prompts, but they haven’t changed in a few days. And I don’t really feel inspired by them. Add that today was one of those days that had me running around. So, I haven’t had time to just sit and write. It is almost 8 o’clock and I am finally sitting down to blog.

So, why do this? It would be easy to just let a day slide.

It is always easier to just let something slide for a day, then two, maybe a week. Much of what brings us real joy in life can be put off for some other time. Another time when we feel more energized, not drained from work, or the desire to just scroll on our phones keeps our attention.

We can take a walk tomorrow with our kids. 

We can get back to the book later.

We can go fishing when it is not so hot.

We can always call / text someone later.

We all let moments go, thinking that we will get to them later. Too many of those moments would bring us joy, happiness, or a sense of accomplishment if we completed them. That’s why they cross our minds, something is telling us we are missing this from our life. But we will let go… for another time.

One of the toughest hurdles is that nothing bad happens if we let the moment go. No one really cares if I write this post or not. Nothing will happen to me. Well, kind of…

First, I will let myself down. I promised myself to do this challenge, as I have done for each month. It is important to hold up your promises to yourself. That is the basis of confidence and sense of living a life you are proud of.

Second, this challenge, as have been the others, are activities I think are important to my life. I love writing. I love this moment, headphones on, notebook or computer open, and the rush of articulating the ideas in my head and heart onto paper. Add the rush of hope that someone will read it… that my words might make a difference for someone, and I am happy. 

This is a year of challenges. Some from the chaotic power of life, the twist and turns we all go through. The choices we make with what to do with our time, who we spend it with, and just the simple act of living. But also of challenges I have given myself. Challenges that tap into what brings me joy, allows me to spend my time doing more fulfilling things and feel like I have lived. 

But isn’t that the challenge we all have? To live life to the fullest measure of who we are…

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February 21, 2023 · 7:50 am

An Open Letter to My Daughter

A few days ago we were talking about karma, about why it seemed that people who do bad things always seem to win. To be popular. Last night you opened up about the friendship situation. I connected the dots.

Junior high is a minefield. It is hard to judge what the next step will bring. Add the state of our society, social media, and the challenge of just being a teenager, and it feels like the world is in chaos.

There is nothing I can do or say that will change the outside world. I hope that maybe this open letter can help you navigate the next couple of years and help you discover the beautiful soul that you are.

First, friendship is one of the foundations of who we are. But it is also fickle and can actually be destructive. Our friendships make or break us. Even after all these years, and our own rough spots, my best friend is an important part of my life. But many of the other friends I’ve had over the years are not a part of my everyday life. Right now, it feels like you should have a huge group of friends. I understand the need to feel “liked” by everyone. To be honest, even adults have that desire, but real friendship is a serious relationship. And it is hard sifting through the fake and real relationships in junior high, let alone the rest of your life.

Real friendship is earned. If you find yourself asking for friendship, that person is not a friend. Let them go. Know that honest friendship builds you up, supports you. You should never have to ask to be loved. This is a hard truth, but it’s true.

Second, guard your heart, but never close it. This is hard to write as a father because I want this world to be a beautiful place for you. But there is so much pain and hurt in this world caused by people who want to do bad things. Oh how I wish this wasn’t so because there is such beauty and joy to experience in this life. We have experienced it! But our hearts are the most important aspect of who we are. Our hearts are strong, yet can be damaged with a single word or action… and that damage is hard to heal. I know, even now I deal with the pain everyday from the wounds people inflicted on me.

Guard your heart, just don’t close it.

Third, mom and I are always here. Home is our sanctuary. If you simply need a hug, find me. I love you.

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May 17, 2021 · 9:58 pm

Walking in Circles

Did you know that we walk in circles? Without a visual reference to follow, we will walk in circles (“We can’t help walking in circles”), research has proven it. I learned of this fallacy in boy scouts. On the first weekend camping trip our Scout leader instructed us on how to use a compass, but also informed us of the tendency to walk in circles. Especially if we got lost and panic set in. 

One of the reasons we walk in a circle is because of the imperfections in our gait. I personally know that my left foot hits at an outward angle greater than my right foot. Another factor that contributes to us walking in a circle is not having a clear visual cue to follow and adjust to. This was an important factor when I was in boy scouts and we would go hiking in the woods.  Hard to see the sun, and the trees started to look the same, especially when we would be in a dense part of the woods. A compass was an important tool but we also learned how to use the landscape around us to stay on track.

I’ve been thinking about this phenomenon because I’ve noticed we can walk in circles in emotional and mental ways, too. I see it in students, adults, and the culture. Walking around and around, just repeating the same thoughts and emotions. People are in motion, so they feel like they are getting somewhere, but in fact all they are doing is covering the same ground. When nothing changes, panic sets in. Anger and frustration sets in. And then things just get worse, and someone can spend years, decades, covering the same ground, over and over and over.

The most important factor needed to keep from walking in a circle is having a clear visual cue. This allows you to adjust your path. The same holds true for our mental or emotional paths. These markers can be developed in different ways. My family decides on a word each year. I have constructed a vision board before. Or simply writing down a goal on a 3 x 5 card and taping it to a mirror is a cue. It allows you to adjust your path.

The marker has to be visible, though. Too many times we simply state a change we want in our mind, or we know we need to be a better person, yet we just keep that in our hearts. And then we walk in circles because we have no visual cue to help us adjust our steps. 

Without any guidance we all walk in circles. Even if we are walking with someone. Our lives are meant to be traveled across the landscape. That is the beauty of life, the places we go and the scenery of the world around us. Same holds true for our mind and soul, for our emotions and wonderment. But we need a visual cue to keep us on track, whatever that cue may be. So find it, write it down, print it out, set it and start walking toward an incredible life.

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September 20, 2019 · 10:27 am

The Headline Read

The headline read:

“Woman Burning Love Letters Sparks Nebraska Apartment Fire.”

The article stated that a 19 year-old woman was burning love letters from her ex with a butane torch in her bedroom. Some of the pieces that fell to the carpet started the fire.

When I read this, so many thoughts and emotions came to mind.

My first reaction, actually, was happiness. To know that people still write love letters, in this digital world, where we send emoticons as birthday wishes, that the woman’s relationship was so strong that they wrote letters to each other was cool to read. Of course, the pain of ending the relationship is tough to deal with.

Which brought up the next thought. Dealing with pain from relationships and love is a part of our lives. I couldn’t help but think about how many more times she would deal with heartbreak. And not just with relationships. Not getting a job or position, not achieving a goal, there are so many things that can bring us heartache in life. I wish I could tell her I know it hurts but that she will gain strength from this… and that love is still real. She will meet the right person in the future. Life can break our hearts, but love heals it.

Then my poetic side kicked in… 

 

Your words no longer read true

Written in passion

Each letter started with my name in cursive

ended with a heart and your initials

Broken by actions

By trading in our future

for a set of green eyes

I only have this flame

To mirror the heat in my chest

Our future turning into ash

Black, rising in the air

As sections of words

Promises and devotions

Edged with amber flakes

Fall to the floor

My pain ignites the scraps

Flames crawling up the dresser

Consuming the picture of us

Cheek to cheek

Last winter in Colorado

I toss the shoebox holding the last few letters

Into the growing blaze

I grab my phone

and the book I’ve been reading

I close the door

On the burning of our life together

 

The headline read:

“Woman Burning Love Letters Sparks Nebraska Apartment Fire.”

 

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