Tag Archives: family

March 3, 2016 · 8:11 am

Light-up Shoes

Shoes“My shoes?” my youngest daughter asks. Right now almost everything is a question.

“My daddy?” she asks after daycare.

“Yep, I’m your daddy,” I would say. Then she would smile. I totally understand Tim McGraw’s song “Grown Men Don’t Cry” now.

But back to the shoes. They are light-up Paw Patrol shoes. My little girl ran around the living room making the shoes light up. Every few seconds she would ask if I had seen the lights on her shoes. Then she would ask mom, the girls, my oldest son. “See my shoes?”

I will be honest, I was hit with the fact that I would soon not buy another pair of light-up shoes. I’m pretty sure that every one of my kids have gotten a pair of light-up shoes. They would run around making them light up.  They would smile. It was the best day of their young lives the day they got light-up shoes. Such a simple thing, but brings such a pure joy.

My oldest son was eating a quick breakfast, he had speech practice this morning. But he stopped and responded to his sister. I wondered if I had done anything for him so he felt like he was having the best day of his young life. I was a washed with dad guilt. Raising six kids, being a husband, being in the middle of figuring out a career, can make life feel restricted and stressful. But it is the small things that make the biggest difference in this world.

Love is expressed in the small things, an unexpected hug, a funny GIF sent in an email/text. A handwritten note can clear away the storm clouds. A favorite drink or candy bar can change a person’s view. Or having pockets…

My daughter stops in front of me. Her hands are stuffed into her little front pockets of her pants. “I have pockets!” It is not a question. Then she takes off running with her hands still stuffed into her pockets. My dad instincts kick in, I hope she doesn’t fall as she makes it to the front door.

“My coat?” she asks with a smile.

It’s going to be a great day, even if I do shed a tear.

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as , , , ,

March 2, 2016 · 2:49 pm

Greatness

Good morning. Or afternoon. Or evening. I don’t know when you might come across this post, but I wrote it for you.

Let’s cut to the chase, we need you to be great today. No, seriously. We need you to be on your game today. We need you to be a great mother or father, a great friend, a great person, a great writer, a great YOU.  Here’s why.

The world has enough average people. The world has too many below average people. The world has enough hate, disrespect, and coldness. What we need is you to be great.  To be strong. To live your life to the fullest at this moment.

I can hear some of you, life is too hard to be great. Thank you for proving my point. How is being less than your best helping make your life better? It is not. I know that it can be crazy getting the kids ready for the day. But being average, being rattled, being short and snippy at the kids does not make the moment better. Being at your best is not a guarantee that getting the kids ready in the morning will not be work, but it sure makes the moment better.

Life can be hard. I know that.  Which is even more of a reason for you to be great, to live your life to your greatest potential. Your life needs you to rise up to a higher level.

I can hear you, too. I’ve tried being better but it didn’t work. Yoda was right when he said:

Do or not do

The word TRY gives us an excuse not to succeed. To not be our best. It deflects the responsibility of our lives to an abstract idea or worse to another person.  You either live to your potential or you don’t.  Stop trying. We need you to BE GREAT. Your family, your dreams, your life needs your greatness. I know you you know it. Now live it.


Share this with anyone you know who might need a reminder that we need their greatness.

1 Comment

Filed under Life

Tagged as , , , , , , , , ,

February 7, 2016 · 5:23 pm

Blueberry Muffin Success

It is Sunday morning. I am making blueberry muffins for the family. Big mixing bowl, muffin mix, two eggs, ¾ cup of milk (not water), and ¼ cup of oil. Blueberries are drained and waiting. It is a familiar routine. It is a foundation of our family. A simple thing that helps keep the family and me from getting lost in the turmoil of life.

This morning I am still reeling from the feelings of doubt and uncertainty. I had a number of opportunities that I felt qualified for, but wasn’t even given a chance to prove myself. No interviews, sessions not accepted for conferences. I know that there are so many factors involved in the process of selecting candidates for a position, but, honestly, rejection hurts. You wonder why. You wonder what didn’t they see in you.

These questions fill my head as I get all the ingredients mixed and fill the muffin cups. The oven beeps that it is heated to 410 degrees. I place the pan in the oven and set the timer for 18 minutes. I grab my coffee cup (I make my coffee before the muffins) and sit at the table thinking.

Success is a tricky concept. It can be measured by money, titles, or objects if that is your definition. But what if you just want to do your best, to help people be better, to raise a strong family? What if your idea of success is happiness? How is that measured?

Part of the way we measure that type of success is from our jobs, from the impact we make in our field of expertise. Those are hard to measure and sometimes the most challenging aspect of success because of change. A new boss, chasing a goal, or a decision made by administration. Things change and sometimes we don’t know why. Life doesn’t always go our way and we don’t know why. That is why doubt can bring you down, you can’t argue against it when there is no easy measurement to counter its voice.

6294522979_685f90e4bc_zThe timer goes off. The muffins have a golden hue mixed with dots of blue. They smell warm and tasty. The family gathers around the table. Glasses are filled with orange juice and milk. Butter is applied to the muffins for those who want it. There is chatter, request for more drink, and even laughter.

Sometimes success is measured not by money or a job, but by a dozen blueberry muffins every Sunday morning.

3 Comments

Filed under Life

Tagged as , , , , , ,

January 20, 2016 · 11:38 am

Winter Driving

It is January, that means winter driving. That means snow ruts.

Winter Ruts

Last weekend was one of those times when we were running around town all day. Groceries, Speech Meet, kids visiting friends, it felt like I was in the car more than in my house. Even the main roads were still a mess and as I navigated the snow ruts I got to thinking.

When a storm hits, ruts actually help navigate your path. The ruts give a clear path to drive in. It is the safest path to follow during the storm and right after the storm. But then something happens to that safety.

As time goes on the winter ruts become dangerous in two ways. When the storm passes and the sun starts to shine again, ruts become filled with slush that then becomes ice as the days progress. Trying to stop for a light or stop sign becomes dangerous because the ruts are filled with ice. You have to move outside the rut to gain grip on the tires so that you can stop.

The other way that ruts become a hazard is when the ruts become so deep you scrape the undercarriage of your car. Sometimes the snow storms come one after another, building up the snow on the ground and roads. Again, the winter ruts help at the beginning, but soon the ruts are so deep you can’t get out of them.  You have to alter your route because you can’t turn on a secondary street because you can’t get out of the rut.

Last Saturday I thought about this as I ran all over town. And as so often happens I thought about how the ruts of life work the same way.

Ruts are helpful to show us the way, specially in our personal storms. But after time, ruts become dangerous. They can keep us doing the same thing for so long we can’t get out of the ruts without a drastic change in course. Or our life becomes filled with issues that won’t allow us to stop, unless we make a drastic change in course. Even more, the ruts of life are not so easy to see, but so safe to travel.

 

Navigating winter roads is tricky.

Navigating life is even more complicated.

 

I wish you safe travels.

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as , , , , ,

January 8, 2016 · 9:46 am

Life Without a Phone

iphoneI know this is going to shock you… I have been without my iPhone for two weeks. It finally died during Christmas break. I have a replacement phone on the way, but it is back-ordered. I’ve learned a few things about how a smartphone impacts our daily life.

Emerson

Created at PicLit.com

First, life goes on. Honestly. in some ways, it has been good not to have my phone… or maybe I should say apps. Some readers may have noticed that I have not been as active on Twitter lately. Especially with sharing my typography photos I make with Typic. Which I also share those photos on iTagged and Instagram. I do miss taking photos and not just for the creative things I do with them.

I could not take a photo of any of my children during the break. No smiling faces as they opened presents. No fun shots as the family let our new guinea pig, Kota, play in the living room.  Even worse, no chance to share those photos with Grandma and grandpa in Wyoming. I also couldn’t send text messages to other friends and family just to say hello. Let alone communicate with my wife to handle our busy everyday life. Who’s picking up who? Can I stop and get milk?

But life goes on.

I am more connected with the people around me. I’m not checking my Twitter notifications while my daughters take a bath.  I’m playing or talking to them as they make bubble beards. I am getting projects completed in half the time at work. I notice how people are feeling through their eyes. And honestly, right now, I feel more relaxed.  I feel free, not connected to my phone.

This feeling is interesting because when my phone first died I was stressed. I couldn’t check in on one of my favorite games, Puzzle and Dragons. Puzzle and Dragons uses a simple psychology reinforcement of tracking how many days you have played total and how many days in a row. Before my phone died, I had played for over 600 days. My streak was 496 days. Now, I don’t spend hours a day playing Puzzle and Dragons. But as you can see, I was connected to it.I won’t even discuss how many worlds I have lost in Minecraft Pocket Edition. TheTop

 

 

 

I can’t calculate  how much time I spent with Twitter alone. Add all the time I listen to my music, checking Flipboard, researching new apps and just texting friends, and you can see that I was connected to the phone.

There are a number of studies about our addictive behavior with technology, this is a true concern for our development as people and a culture. These last two weeks have been an interesting case study of how connected my life is to my phone. Without my phone I am more connected with the people around me.  I’m more connected to what is going on in my life right now. But without my phone my connections with people and interest is affected. Connecting with my family in other states, friends and colleagues on Twitter, and even communicating with my family to make our daily life run smoothly has been lost.  I miss taking photos and playing Puzzle and Dragons. I miss creating typography pictures.

I learned I can live without a smartphone and when I get my replacement to make sure I disconnect from the phone to connect with the people around me. The past two weeks have reinforced that technology should enhance our lives, not control them.

But the most interesting thing I learned is that I don’t want to live without a smartphone. And that idea is for another post, I think the mailman has just pulled up…

8 Comments

Filed under Family, Life, Technology

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

April 8, 2015 · 10:10 am

What it Takes

The First Step

So, my first novel is done. And do you know what it took to get it done? I had to write it. Such a simple step, but so difficult to do. Under the Lights was a novel I completed for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo)… three years ago. So what took so long?

First, fear. It is so easy to say you are doing something instead of actually doing it. I wasted years talking about being a writer, about working on a novel without really putting the time or effort into it. I was afraid to actually write it, to put my heart and soul into it, knowing that readers might not like the story. It was easy to hide behind excuses of time and family. And to simply give into the fear.

I am going to be honest; I am still feeling fear and doubt as each copy of the book is sold. I wonder if the themes are clear, if the characters come alive for the reader. Time will tell. I am excited to see where this book will lead me. So how did I actually get the book ready? Work.

Achieving Something Takes Work

For the last year I have scraped together time to produce my novel. I don’t know how many times I have read the story, checking for errors, adding a line, and deciding to remove parts. To achieve any goal, it takes work. But it is worth it. I am now a writer. I like the sound of it. But I have to give my family the credit in helping me overcome my fear. How can I expect my sons and daughters to work hard for their goals if I don’t set the example?

While working at ESU 10 I discovered the TED Talk below by Larry Smith, “Why you will fail to have a great career” (Yes, I was working at ESU 10 when I actually finished the novel for NaNoWriMo). Like many things in life, a seed takes time to grow. Larry Smith’s honest insight on why going after a great career is important inspired me. My family inspires me. Their talents and life journeys inspire me to go after this goal that I have shied away from for too long.

Achieving anything takes work. Takes a lot of work. You will have to conquer your fear. But it is worth it. Believe me, I’m a writer.

2 Comments

Filed under Life

Tagged as , , , , ,

March 20, 2014 · 12:49 pm

Mixed Cereal

“Can I have mixed cereal?” My daughter asks.IMG_3775

“Yep, what kind?” I reply.

“Reese’s Puffs…”

“And…” I try to drag out the second cereal for the mix.

“Reese’s Puffs and…”

“How about Apple Jacks?”

“Yeah, Apple jacks.” She jumps up from the couch and heads to the kitchen.

This conversation is from a few days ago with my four year-old.  Lately, my three older girls have started to eat mixed cereal.  Simply put, mixing different kinds of cereals in the morning or at snack time.

My oldest daughter first asked for this about a month ago one morning as I was getting her cereal ready.  When she asked, my first response was going to be, “No.”  But before I said it, I wondered to myself why I was going to say no.

Time? It would take all of 20 seconds to open another box and pour it into the bowl.  But life falls into routines, and a change in that routine makes us think about how it will affect our time.  Every morning I say something like, “We got to go.” Trying to get the kids to hurry so that we stay “on time.”  But time wasn’t a good enough reason.

It is odd. Who ever heard of mixing cereal… (let alone pop). I really caught myself on this idea.  Was I really going to tell her no because it was different?  But I started to wonder how many times did I do that.  How many times do our kids get a knee jerk “NO” from us simply because it is different?   I take certain sense of pride for thinking outside the box, but this moment challenged me.  Showed me how fast we can react to an idea that is outside the (cereal) box and shut it down before we even consider it.  How many ways to can we actually crush creativity?

Since I couldn’t think of a reason for her not to have mix cereal for breakfast, we started a trend in our home.  It is a simple act, but a tasteful one.

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as , ,

February 26, 2014 · 9:53 am

14 Steps

There are about 14 steps from my little girls’ room to the living room.  Every weekday morning, around 6:00 a.m., I head to their room.  Taking turns, I wrap each girl in their blanket and carry them out to the living room.  They are heavy with sleep.  But in small ways they snuggle into my arms; an arm around my neck, moving their head onto my chest, or curling up into the fetal position to fit in my arms.

The girls are five and four years old.  I can shake them awake. They could walk to the living room.  They find their way to our room at two in the morning, that’s for sure.  But it is 14 steps.  It is 14 steps that I will, soon enough, not walk with them in my arms.  They will grow and be too heavy with age to carry. It is 14 steps that I can show them that dad loves them.

Some of our greatest moments are the smallest.  What can you do today in 14 steps?  Find that path and watch how the world looks better in just 14 steps.

steps

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as , ,

December 19, 2013 · 10:43 am

Happy Birthday

Courtesy of Flickr user Bitterjug

The candles were lit.  My daughter looked around at everyone standing by her.  A smile creeping on her face.

“Everyone ready?” I ask.

The kids all shake their heads yes and we all break out in song, “Happy birthday…”

And my daughter bursts out in joyful laughter.

Yesterday was my third daughter’s birthday.  She turned four.  It was a busy day for our family.  Wednesday is CCD, my wife attended a funeral during the day, my oldest son has a different schedule because of finals, and we went out to eat for my daughter’s birthday.  All day my little girl kept asking if it was, “Happy Birthday Time.”  I thought she meant if she could open presents.  She received one of her presents in the morning and opened her other present after dinner, but she kept asking about the Happy Birthday Time while the older kids were at CCD.  I told her we would have cake when the kids got back and that she had opened all her presents.  But she kept asking.  I didn’t get it until I saw her eyes explode with joy as we sang “Happy Birthday” to her.

It wasn’t the presents, or the cake; it was that moment when she was the center of our attention.  Where we expressed our love for her in a simple song.  She laughed the whole time.  She couldn’t blow out her candles because of her laughter.  This was the third moment in the last couple of weeks that has highlighted the importance of our actions (and words) in building up (or tearing down) another person.

Example number two happened last weekend as I was getting groceries.  I want to preface the example with the knowledge that as a parent I have had bad days and I hope this situation for the mother was just one of those days.

I was shopping for groceries alone as we tried to get the little ones some rest.  As I turned into an aisle I noticed a boy about nine years old sitting at one of the booths the store has for eating from the deli.  Didn’t think too much of it and continued up the aisle.

“Can I shop with you now, mom?”  I knew it was the boy.

“Does it look like I’m at the end of the store?” an annoyed and exasperated voice responded.

“Please, can I shop with you?” His voice pleaded. As a dad the part that makes me feel ashamed when I lose my temper is how much my kids still just want my love and attention.

The mom’s voice softens a little, “OK, but no more issues.”

As life has it, I crossed paths with this mother and son in every aisle for the rest of my time in the store. And yes, they even ended up behind me in the checkout aisle.

ToolsThe mother’s voice might have softened at first, but soon I heard her bark at her son… in every aisle.  The situation brought up a dark time in my life.  In junior high my mother had a live-in boyfriend that would put me down whenever he could.  But the worst was when I would have to help him with projects.  He was an outstanding handyman.  He could fix any problem in the house.  He built some incredible cabinets and other things for my mom.  Even though I was “the worst #### kid ever” I always had to help.  I could not do anything right. It was a very dark two years of my life. Even today, I have a hard time doing handyman things around the house.

Back to the store. I tried to smile and just make a positive interaction with the two.  But, it was the same situation in each aisle.  The mom’s voice covering the child in negativity.  And the boy doing everything he could to make her happy.

The third situation has challenged my own patience, as our littlest one has not gotten a consistent schedule through the night or morning.  It is not fun changing diapers at two in the morning, or knowing that the family will be running late because the little one is up earlier than normal. That means I have to feed her before I can get into my morning routine.

But, no matter the time, my little girl lights up with a smile when I place her on the changing table.  Whether it is two in the morning, or when I try to get a couple of sips of coffee before I feed her.  I have created a new habit of kissing her on the forehead whenever I pick her up in the middle of the night. It helps me remember to keep my frustration at bay.

Every child, heck, in all honesty everybody wants to know they are loved, that they are the center of your attention.  Even if it is for just one song.

I hope you have a “Happy Birthday” kind of day.

2 Comments

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as , , ,

October 9, 2013 · 10:42 am

Blueberry Muffins: The Next Generation

Ready to bakeFor those who have not read much of my blogs, blueberry muffins are a Sunday morning tradition in our home.  They represent the change that any family goes through, but also shows the strength of tradition that binds a family together.  And now the next generation is in on the making of blueberry muffins.

Lately, I have been the one making the blueberry muffins on Sunday morning (teenagers do sleep in).  For the last couple of weeks I have had two little helpers.  My four and three year-old daughters have been helping me make the muffins.

I set the girls on the kitchen island with the ingredients and bowls between them.

“I’ll break the eggs. You put them in the bowl. OK, dad?”

And each daughter gets to break an egg for the muffins, and they get to break a couple for the scrambled eggs we have added to our Sunday breakfast.  The girls giggle as a little bit of the egg gets on their hands.  They rush to the bathroom to wash.  I have to wait for them.  They don’t want to miss helping at any point.

“Alright, keep the spoon in the bowl,” I say as I hold the glass bowl for my three year-old to mix the batter.

She smiles as she speeds up the spoon, creeping up the edge.  I tilt the bowl as best I can to her frantic motions.

“Very nice. Time for the blueberries.”

“Do we need that net thing?”

I reply that we do. The girls marvel at how the water turns purple.

The three of us get Sunday morning breakfast ready for the family.  At such a busy time in life, I know this routine is a way to be a dad.  We make a small mess and it takes twice as long to get breakfast done, but for 20 minutes nothing matters except us.  Every morning this week my two daughters have asked if we were having blueberry muffins.  I tell them no, but on Sunday we will.  Like we do every Sunday.

1 Comment

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as , ,