At the moment my daughters are performing karaoke with a friend. My wife is listening to a podcast and I am writing this blog post (I did just spend 30 minutes reading a book). For the first time in a long time we have nothing to do.
This morning we had blueberry muffins. We attended church. Ran to get my wife her coffee drink (if you know, you know). Bought some yarn for my youngest daughter who has fallen in love with crocheting. For Christmas we got her a Wooble. She has completed at least 7 of those sets and is now making projects on her own. The latest being two dragons.
It’s funny how busy you can be with nothing to do.
It’s funny how full a day feels when you have nothing to do.
It’s funny how much we miss when we pack our days, or weekends, with things to do.
I am going to just warn you now, this post will ramble but try to connect the dots at the end.
I just finished my walk about 20 minutes ago. And I thought about a lot of things, had a lot of dots on the paper of my mind. But let’s start in the middle of my walk.
There is a small cemetery, Sunset Memorial Gardens, that I walk past on one of my routes through my neighborhood. Sometimes, I stop to sit and reflect. Today was one of those days. As I sat down on a bench the “Love Theme from St. Elmo’s Fire” started to play in my earbuds. St. Elmo’s Fire is one of my favorite movies, so it got me thinking.
I took a couple of pictures to share on social media. I tend to take unique pictures on my walk just to share. While I was taking the photos I noticed that there were two fresh mounds of dirt. One of the grave sites did not have a date on the tombstone, but the second one did.
This is when the dots filled my head.
Here I was standing by her grave on January 4, 2026. Janice was just days away from the New Year when she passed away.
I, we all do to a degree, take time for granted. I have a specific pair of shoes I use for my walks. I am in the middle of logging the steps I take on my walks in these shoes for a blog post when I get new shoes.
I am assuming I will be here in 6 months. That I will be able to walk, to listen to music, to think, and write poetry.
As I continued on my walk I was deep in thought about life. A poetic line came to mind, “There will come a time…” (I’ll share the poem later in the blog).
Thinking about the poem led me to something that has been heavy on my heart lately… about how much I have failed in accomplishing my big dreams. I let myself down all the time. I have books I want to write. I want to learn to play the piano (or at least write this song I have). I want to help people write better (this is an idea in the works).
But instead… I fail.
Like all of us, life tricks us into believing there is time. And the trick is that there is time… until there isn’t. And we don’t know when that time will end.
On the home stretch of my walk, I spotted an older couple walking their dogs on the golf course, at times holding hands waiting for their second dog to catch up.
It was a beautiful site and reminded me that no one knows how much time they will have. But we are all given a life. And we do get to decide on how we live it. Failing at dreams, walking on a 60 degree January day, or making it home to be a dad…when I got home my second daughter needed help getting her boomerang (she got for Christmas) down from the roof of the house.
Some dreams are so big they have to be accomplished everyday.
Ohhh, yeah, I wrote this poem while walking too. This is the draft from my notes. The final poem will be worked on later.
“There will come a time”
There will come a time
Because of a dead watch
When I will stop moving
My hands across my face
To check how well I shaved
To start a new day
There will come a time
Because of the sunset
That I will be encased in darkness
Like Orion
Dreams stuck in position
Of a constellation of the past
There will come a time
Because of the last page
That I will no longer
Be able to write
A single word of a poem
Or love letter for her to read
There will come a time
Because of the rules of LIFE
I will reach the end
Have no more turns to spin the wheel
Get an action card
Have a pet
Or fill my little green car
With people I love
One last thing, here is the song that played as I came home.
For the last couple of months, I have been untying my shoes when I take them off. Yes, that means I have to tie them when I put them on.
Yesterday I spent almost an hour trying to find the right word for a poem. A single word. I was working with meaning and syllable count for that word, but still, I spent time finding the right word.
My screen time is down almost 15%.
Over the last 11 weeks my steps have jumped up over 3,000 more steps a day.
I’ve heard the quote, “How you do one thing is how you do everything,” used in movies and TV shows lately.
Each day we have 24 hours. Everyone.
How we use it is the fundamental factor to the quality of our lives. Even when bad things happen, or unexpected challenges, it is our responsibility to decide how we deal with the time we are given.
I have decided to untie my shoes when I take them off.
The following picture started my idea of sharing some of my older blog posts.
I shared this image in our family group chat to show what our freezer looked like when the boys were growing up.
It is funny how time changes things… even Toaster Strudels. The mixed berry flavor used to have blue frosting. There were so many cool flavors.
Then there is a family joke that I have a poem or a blog post for everything… and the joke might be true! Here is the blog post about Toaster Strudels from 2009 as best as I can confirm.
“Small Things”
This morning I was preparing Toaster Strudels for my two boys. I decided to do some frosting art. I made a somewhat recognizable reindeer and a Christmas tree with blob ornaments. The boys loved it. The rest of the morning went smoothly and the house was filled with energy.
On my way to work, I watched people run yellow to red lights, got cut off, and saw the aftermath of a wreck.
What do these two moments have in common? The small things.
Life is the collection of small moments. Our level of fulfillment in life is in the way we handle all those small moments. Many big events are the result of us not handling the small things. Traffic is an example. That simple decision when we see the yellow light, speed up or prepare to stop? A small moment.
Just hand them their breakfast, or make them smile? A small moment.
Friday afternoon my youngest daughter and I played “How Close to the Ceiling Can You Throw the Ball?” A childhood classic!
As we dealt with errant throws and bad attempts at catching the ball when it ricocheted off the ceiling, we made up a crazy theory game, “Theory has it…”
“Theory has it you already missed the catch.”
“Theory has it that you are an elephant on another planet.”
“Theory has it you met Taylor Swift in elementary school.” (She’s a Swifty.)
The theory game got super silly, there were a few good throws at the ceiling, but we spent a lot of time getting up from the floor to retrieve the purple Pizza Ranch ball. There were no phones or screens (we would play Minecraft later). We wasted a lot of time that afternoon. Wasted time on us. Wasted time feeling joy.
It has been a busy summer. We have missed making blueberry muffins a number of times, but this morning we were in our normal routine. It was a quiet morning as all my daughters were still sleeping as my wife and I made breakfast.
As happens with me, my mind wandered through some random thoughts, but then dived deep as I smashed the blueberries into the batter.
Backstory: about a year ago my third daughter asked if there was a way to have the blueberries throughout the muffin. Blueberries are one of her favorite foods. So the next time we made blueberry muffins I smashed some of the blueberries and continued to mix in the blueberries instead of folding them into the batter. The batter was almost purple when I spooned it into the paper cups. My daughter loved them and since then I smash the blueberries for our Sunday muffins.
This morning my mind made an interesting connection to life; smashing blueberries became a metaphor to a deep thought. School is about to start, so let’s look at this metaphor.
Blueberries are love.
Muffins are a day… or a year, or a lifetime, really they are a symbol for time.
The instructions on the box say to fold the blueberries into the batter. This allows the blueberries to stay whole, but are spread out through the muffins. So, technically you can bite into a muffin and not get a blueberry. Now, once you eat all of the muffin you will have enjoyed some blueberries.
Flip to the other part of the metaphor. On any given day we give and receive moments of love. Some days there are a lot of blueberries – moments of love. But other days, there are not many moments of feeling love or giving love. The baker didn’t fold the blueberries well and the muffin is bare of blueberries. Sadly, I think too many people live through days like this.
For the last year or so, I have smashed the blueberries so that every bite has at least a taste of blueberryness. Now, we cannot ‘smash’ love, but what if we made sure we spread out moments of love throughout every day, especially with our family and friends? In a sense making sure that each day there is a taste of love. Can you imagine how good that muffin would taste?
When I make blueberry muffins, I smash the blueberries into the batter so that every bite has a taste of love. I want my days to taste just as good.
So, I’m not doing what I set out to do. I am supposed to be writing a really cool short story idea I have. I am at my favorite writing spot at my local coffee shop, The Blue Moon. I have my Bizarre Orange Encounter drink. (My traditional drink for moments like this.) My writing playlist is hitting the right notes. But I am blogging.
Chasing your dreams is hard.
Today, this moment, is a perfect example why.
First, I had planned this moment a few days ago. Our trash needs to be out on the curb at 7 a.m. I was like, I could just go to the Blue Moon to write before the day started.
It opens at 7:30. We are on Easter break. Perfect way to start the day. Well, it was a struggle to just get here.
I got the garbage out in time, but had to fight… fight the urge to just crawl back into bed and sleep. The voice in my head tempted me with the thought that I could write another time. And it is true… but that is the first hurdle to achieving your goals. Actually working on it.
There will always be something to take you away from working on your goals, especially if you have to hold down a job to chase your dream or raise a family or any relationship. We only have so much time. We all have the same amount each day. We decide how to spend it. It’s important to spend it well. That means your relationships, your job, but also your goals.
Yes, you have to plan your time, and that is OK. Plan the time with friends and family, but also your goals, and stick to it.
The second hurdle was my youngest daughter. She loves having breakfast at the Blue Moon. I was tempted to see if she wanted to go. To sit and talk with her about Taylor Swift and horses. But if I did, I wouldn’t get any writing done. Achieving balance is part of life. Hence, the reason for planning your time. It helps you maintain that balance so you can strive for your goals and be a good friend, father, and husband (in my case).
I showered, grabbed my computer, kissed my wife and headed to the Blue Moon. Got my drink. Put in my headphones. And started this blog… which is also a hurdle.
I am supposed to be working on a new short story. Instead, I am blogging. I know what you might be thinking reader. How is this a bad thing? You blog all the time.
It is bad because I am not working toward my goal. I want to be known as a writer. I have novels that are not completed. Short story rough drafts in notebooks. I have so many ideas that are not completed. They don’t write themselves.
Yes, I am happy to blog. I hope this post helps you in your pursuit of your dreams. But I wonder, am I just afraid to reach for that big dream. Are you afraid, too?
We find ways to distract ourselves, to give ourselves excuses not to chase those big dreams.
Today has 24 hours. Plan it well. Love your family and friends, but your goals need your time and effort too.
As many of you have, we have a route we take every day to school in the morning, then follow the route in reverse from school to home. It’s part of the daily routine. It takes about 15 minutes to get to school, 30 minutes round trip. That’s if there is only one trip that day.
Yesterday, I made three trips to school and back. At the moment we only have one car. So, my daughter had morning basketball practice. I dropped her off and returned home to get the rest of the crew for school. At the end of the day we went home, then to my junior high daughter’s game in a nearby town. After her game we returned home, but I had to go out to school to get my other daughter who was making sugar skulls for her Spanish Club.
We finally settled down at home after 8 o’clock last night.
It got me thinking about how many times I have traveled the streets from home to school and back again.
So, being conservative (I did not include summer or holiday breaks or even weekends when I come to my classroom to grade.) I calculated some numbers.
We have lived in our home for about 12 years. My oldest son started junior high around that time. In those 12 years… again conservative numbers.
I have traveled 33,000 miles on just that route.
Adding up the time… 84 days traveling that route! If I started driving back and forth from home to school to home without stopping today, I would drive that route continually until Jan 31, 2024.
It’s been a hard year. Even now my wife’s side of the family is dealing with another tragic moment. Time and the importance of my life have been factors that trouble my soul, but as I thought about this small moment, driving to school, I realized two things.
One: Life happens in the smallest moments. Singing songs, laughing at my bad dad jokes, venting about a bad day, getting a blueberry muffin at the coffee shop as a surprise, all these moments are the moments that weave the fabric of my life. The quality of my day is elevated in this routine. The bonds with my children and my wife are built in these small moments.
Two: There are no throw away moments in life. Our daily life has routines that fill lots of time, usually in small chunks. But it adds up. To be honest, this was something I thought about as I listened to my dad talk about mom at her graveside. How a life is not defined by the big moments. A life is the individual strands of yarn we weave together to make a tapestry of living. If we do it well, others can find warmth and comfort by wrapping it around their shoulders.
Today, we only have two trips to make. I have some new dad jokes to tell during the trip.
There were only a few days that I didn’t have a clear idea to write about, but I got rolling once my playlist started and my pen or fingers started writing.
These monthly challenges have forced me to pay attention to my everyday routine. Sometimes my routine was thrown for a loop at the beginning of the month as I figured out when to complete that month’s challenge. But by doing that, I had to take inventory of how I spend my time. On a deeper level, was I spending time doing things that correlated to what I say is important to me?
For example, you may notice most of my posts are done in the evening. After dinner, after spending the day with family. Yes, I have my coffee next to me as I write. What you don’t know is that I took my walk earlier. Today we spent the afternoon buying school supplies. I had a doctor appointment this morning. Recorded the next episode of The Creative Moment with my son.
I spent my day as a dad and husband. That’s important to me.
As life often does, this idea of living life as close to one’s central beliefs has been a part of different conversations with different people over the last couple of days. My best friend’s new job allows him to travel but mostly work from home. My dad is dealing with the tough decision of what to do next in life. My daughter can’t wait for college to start, to finally start focusing her time chasing her dream of being a film director.
I don’t know if I will keep my streak alive of blogging everyday, but if you check the Archive menu, you will see I have been blogging for a long time. So, that won’t stop anytime soon. But I have some other aspects of life I have been wrestling with. How can I live out in my daily routine the things that are important to me? That’s a topic for another blog post.
What I do know, from doing these challenges, is that living is an active endeavor. You have to have an open heart, be cognitive of your actions, and step into your day – even if it is a routine part of the day. We all are given a life, we are responsible for how we live it.
It is Sunday and faithful readers, you know we had blueberry muffins for breakfast. But this morning I got to travel forward in time, at least a little bit. At breakfast there were only my three youngest daughters with my wife and I. This will be our normal Sunday morning crew in a few weeks.
Today we held an open house for my in-laws’ home. Below are two pictures of the tree in their front yard. The winter picture is from 2011. The other picture was taken today.
The connection? Time.
More specifically, how time changes everything. There are good changes. There are regrets and heartbreak with some of the changes.
We all know the cost of time. I don’t think we live our lives with that knowledge, though. If we did, our daily life would be drastically different. We would love without fear. We would dance more. We would eat cereal at midnight and our desserts first at restaurants.
But time is a tricky one to catch, because what happens is that we look up one day and a dozen blueberry muffins will be too much for just my wife and I. Time changes everything, even if we don’t see it.
It is all Connected 