Tag Archives: poetry

February 27, 2025 · 10:12 am

The Creative Process

Yesterday, the muse hit me as we were on our way to school. I was driving, so I kept repeating some lines of a poem in my head so I could jot them down when I got to my classroom. As it happens, more lines came to me as we got to school.

As soon as I sat down, I released the poem onto a yellow legal notepad. I thought it would be fun to share my creative process on X as I spent time working with the poem.

Here are those posts:

Post One:

Love the creative process… first is jotting down the lines I had in my head as I was inspired on the drive to school…

Post Two:

The second step (for me with poetry) is to consider if the main idea of the poem can be better expressed through a poetic form. So what I will do is consider the rules of longer poetic forms (the poem is a page long at the moment. If a form stands out I will rough draft (cont)

the poem in that form. Then I have to make a hard creative decision. I decide if the poem works in the poetic form, or as written. I will still work on word choice, flow, things like that after that decision… I’ll let you know what I decided when I get the chance…

Post Three:

So step two has been completed. I will not be using a traditional poetic form, I will work with the poem as it was written on the page (step three). Forms I did look at: cywydd deuair hirion, kyrielle, rimas dissolutas, and Ya-du to name a few….

Post Four:

Step three of the process is the work on the poem. I have edited the original draft, but now have rewritten the whole poem on a new sheet of paper working the edits in. The 2nd draft also focuses on line breaks, tempo, things like that… I will rewrite the whole poem (cont)…

a number of times. I do that so I experience the whole poem, not just the edits. When I feel I have the poem ‘right’ I will transfer it to my computer.

Post Five:

Side note for creativity… To a degree I trust my gut regarding decisions about the poem. No poetic form felt like it would enhance the theme of the poem, trust the feel of the words on the page as I write. So, there is always the risk of getting something ‘wrong’ (cont)

in the sense that the poem isn’t the best it can be. Or the bridge to the reader is not strong. But the more one works on their craft, they can trust their gut more, and be OK when it doesn’t seem to hit correctly…

Post Six:

Step 4 is easy. Transfer of the work onto my computer. But step five is a challenge… what to do with the poem. I was going to share it in the next post, but as soon as I do that I can not submit the poem for publication consideration… And I like how this poem (cont)

turned out. I like the imagery and the theme. I want to share it, but am now thinking about seeing if someone else would like it enough to publish it. So, at the moment I am going to submit it to some journals. Hope you enjoyed this look into the process of writing a poem today!

And so I have a new poem in my folder “unpublished 2025” and I am looking for opportunities to submit the poem. 

When I write blog posts (like this one) and short stories, even my novel ideas. Step one is kind of the same. I do like to get ideas down on paper, even if I use my phone to record an idea, like I do when I walk. I personally like the sense of creation as I write. The feeling of the pen, the way the ink evolves into words. 

In some ways, I can’t forget about that idea because it is in the real world. So, would love to hear about your creative process. Share in the comments, or reach out to me on social media. 

Here’s to a creative day!

6 Comments

Filed under Life, writing

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

January 18, 2025 · 6:45 pm

Older Blog Post 1 (Toaster Strudels)

The following picture started my idea of sharing some of my older blog posts.

I shared this image in our family group chat to show what our freezer looked like when the boys were growing up. 

It is funny how time changes things… even Toaster Strudels. The mixed berry flavor used to have blue frosting. There were so many cool flavors. 

Then there is a family joke that I have a poem or a blog post for everything… and the joke might be true! Here is the blog post about Toaster Strudels from 2009 as best as I can confirm.

“Small Things”

This morning I was preparing Toaster Strudels for my two boys.  I decided to do some frosting art.  I made a somewhat recognizable reindeer and a Christmas tree with blob ornaments.  The boys loved it.  The rest of the morning went smoothly and the house was filled with energy.

On my way to work, I watched people run yellow to red lights, got cut off, and saw the aftermath of a wreck.

What do these two moments have in common?  The small things.

Life is the collection of small moments.  Our level of fulfillment in life is in the way we handle all those small moments.  Many big events are the result of us not handling the small things.  Traffic is an example.  That simple decision when we see the yellow light, speed up or prepare to stop?  A small moment.

Just hand them their breakfast, or make them smile?  A small moment.

Maybe we should sweat the small things…

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

December 14, 2024 · 7:28 pm

Christmas Letter 2024

2024 has been a hard year, for a number of reasons. Which I will not elaborate on because Christmas letters are not supposed to be sad and depressing. They are truthful, but should bring some happiness to the readers. So, I will just say 2024 has been a hard year, and leave it at that.

A Christmas letter has a number of purposes. The first is to highlight important events from the past year.

And I know everyone wants to know what my Spotify Wrapped entailed. Prince was my number one artist, again. But thanks to my youngest daughter, Taylor Swift landed in second place! Plus, she had three songs make my top 100 for the year.

My number one song of 2024 was actually a surprise. It is “Satellite” by Harry Styles.

I do like this song… just didn’t know I played it so much.  The rest of my top 10 was not surprising.

I spent a lot of time on the road attending different author events (I blogged about some of those events, A Poet Travels 1550 Miles). Those events really kept my spirit filled. 

So did producing The Creative Moment podcast with my son. We have recorded 8 seasons so far. And have no plans on stopping anytime soon.

One of the most bitter sweet aspects of life is family. As a dad it is amazing to see each of my children grow and build their lives, but it is also a reminder that time is moving forward. Change happens. New hardships appear, but so do new joys and experiences. Being a dad is enduring the most joyful heartbreak everyday.

I will not complete my reading challenge this year. I try to read 60 books each year. I am projected (got three books I’m reading right now) to finish at 47 books. But that’s OK, I have read some cool books this year. Here are five of my favorite (in no particular order):

1. Nothing But Blackened Teeth by Cassandra Khaw

2. What Happens in Nebraska by Cat Dixon

3. Impossible Knots by K.P. DeLaney (a guest on The Creative Moment)

4. Denison Avenue by Christina Wong

5. Dickens and Prince: A Particular Kind of Genius by Nick Hornby

And last a Christmas letter is meant to stay connected with family and friends, to share joy… and so I wish you a joyful holiday season!

And I’ll end this letter with my 100th song from my most played list:

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Life, writing

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , ,

August 1, 2024 · 7:02 pm

Let’s be Real about 26 Years

Today (Aug 1) is our 26 year wedding anniversary. My word for this year is ‘real’. As I walked early this morning, I spent time reflecting on what these 26 years have taught me. What it has taught me about life and myself. So I’m going to be real about the last 26 years.

Choice

I know it is cliche, in fact I could provide you with thousands of powerful quotes about how our lives are affected by choice. But a cliche has a level of truth to it, and sometimes we shouldn’t ignore that truth of a cliche. 

Our lives are our choices.

I’ve written about this before. I have made some important choices in my life, but the last 26 years have taught me some interesting aspects of choice, especially as my family grew. My choices affected more than just me.

The most important aspect of choice I’ve learned is the power of my response to ANYTHING that happens. And this is hard because at any moment I can tear down or build up someone with my response. Most importantly my wife and kids. It is too easy to just be on auto pilot with the routine of life, and that is where I’ve messed up at times, be it an exasperated sigh or a harsh word spoken without me thinking. 

It is hard, but not impossible to be aware of our choice in how we respond to events and people.

Another aspect of choice is another cliche in a way, but choose to do what you love. This doesn’t mean you abandon all responsibilities, that will lead you away from happiness. Choosing to do what you love will affect all aspects of your life. Understand the power of that choice. It will influence your job or career. It will change the way you live each day. The way you interact with people. And if you can do what you love as a career, awesome for you! But if you can’t, still do what you love.  I don’t make a single cent on my blog, no ads, no subscriptions, but I love writing and sharing. The happiness I get from my writing filters into all the other parts of my life.

But, choosing to do what you love is important on a smaller scale. I’m talking about doing the everyday things you love. If you love watching horror movies, make sure you watch them. If you like ice cream, enjoy a bowl every once and awhile (yes, it’s important to be healthy but being happy affects your health, too). I love playing Minecraft with my daughters. We play at least a couple times a week. Live life by choosing to do what you love.

Life 

And then there is the other side of the coin… no choice at all.  At times life hits us with events that we are helpless to change. My mom dying of cancer was out of my control. I did and do have control over how I respond. But life will present us with situations that make us feel helpless and lost.

Then there is the connection of life where we have to deal with other people’s choices. The best principal I ever worked with left the school we were working at together. His decision affected more than just my professional life, but I did not have control of his career choices. All I could do was choose how I responded.

This is a factor present in my home everyday! Even now with two of my children building their own lives, the house is still filled with six people and the decisions, both big and small, that we all have to respond to. It could be the simple moment of not liking a favorite food. (Which happens all the time. I swear I need a daily memo of these changes… the fun of #dadlife.) My house is a microcosm of dealing with how intertwined our lives are and the effects of choices that ripple through a single day for each of us.

Life is a complex balance of choice and unexpected moments, both joyful and heartbreaking.

Questions

You would think I had all the answers after 26 years. I don’t. But I have learned to appreciate the questions and find joy in searching for the answers.

Yes, there are still big questions. This past year hit me hard regarding death and in turn the reason for this life. I don’t have a definite answer, but even through the heartache I have been able to connect with people. I have written powerful poetry, while spending time growing spiritually. That is the part of trying to answer the questions that bring depth to our life.

But even the small questions: Can I make an omelet? Leads to learning new skills and fun moments.

I still have big questions that I am working on. Life questions that I have blogged about before. And even though some of them are painful, there is joy in searching for the answers because I discover more about this life.

The last 26 years have shown me that most of my life is in my choices, from career changes to responding to a teenager waking up in a bad mood. And even when life hits with challenging moments that make us feel lost, we have the choice on how we respond. That choice is even present in the questions we seek to answer about ourselves and this life we are given.

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Life, writing

Tagged as , , , , , , , ,

July 12, 2024 · 7:51 pm

A Year

You don’t know where you’ll be in a year.

On our podcast, The Creative Moment, my son introduced this saying. I don’t remember where he learned it from, and I paraphrased the quote, but we use the idea as motivation, as an idea to get through tough times, and to highlight a simple aspect of this life. There is a lot of living that happens in 365 days.

June was the anniversary of the death of my mom (you can read about that here: Meeting Death). There are so many ways that I am reminded of her, but there is simply still the void created by her passing. No text messages, or sending her photos of her grandkids. No visits planned (my parents would always visit us each summer).

And even though these last 365 days did not bring her back, life continued. Continued through rough days, suddenly being flooded with emotions, happy memories from a photograph. 

I’ve written a few poems over the last year and published a collection of poetry, While Death Waits, that dealt with her passing. One of the most wonderful aspects of sharing the poems has been the connections and moments of honest human exchanges of stories. Every time I share some of the poetry based on the death of my mom, people have wanted to share their stories, their pain, the love they had for husbands, mothers, and siblings.

This past year has highlighted the most important aspect of each day; living is embracing the full range of emotions we may encounter at any moment. If you can keep your heart open and loving, even as heartbreaking moments happen, you will strengthen your spirit. You will know you have lived. Each day lived will add up to a year of life, and that adds up to a wonderful life lived…

1 Comment

Filed under Family, Life, writing

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

May 30, 2024 · 3:19 pm

Meeting Death

This is an essay I wrote. It was not accepted for publication but I still wanted to share it.


“Meeting Death”

I finally met death in June of 2023. 

OK, I didn’t meet death personally, but I knew he was outside my mother’s hospital room. I could feel him standing there, like a cowboy. Leaning against the wall, one leg up, bent with his foot against the wall. Hood draped over his head, hand casually holding his scythe, just waiting.

Over the years, Death has taken some important people from my life. My grandmother when I was in high school. A beloved principal I worked with for almost a decade. Maybe the most gut wrenching was the death of a former student. She was killed by a drunk driver who had a suspended license because of seven DUIs. It was her freshman year in college.

So I knew the heartache death brings to us, but I had never met him. Until my mother was admitted to the hospital, fighting colon cancer that had taken over almost every part of her body. I rushed 500 miles to see her. A trip I knew well because I had traveled that route home since April of 2023 every couple of weeks. Yes, you counted correctly, three months.

When my wife and I arrived at the hospital, I felt the difference in the air. The hallways seemed darker on the edges. As we hugged family members in the waiting room there was a silent moment when we broke the embrace. A lingering hand on the shoulder. A simple nod. Death had removed his name from our mind, but we knew…I knew Death was there.

So did my mom. I am still haunted by the way her eyes turned back time when we said good night. I saw her as a child afraid of the dark. She gripped my sister’s hand like a child crossing the street for the first time. Of course she said she would be fine alone. But her eyes pleaded for us not to go. The hospital was quiet. Visiting hours had ended, but the nurses didn’t rush us off. My wife and I had not checked into our hotel yet. My brother had taken my dad home so he could get some rest. My sister’s family was supposed to arrive soon. The nurses would be there if she needed anything.

I was torn. And to this day I feel like I should have stayed, even though Death did not visit her that night. At the time I didn’t think he would, I didn’t feel him waiting in the hallway, and that influenced my decision to leave and get checked into our hotel.

The next morning the sun was shining bright as I walked into my mom’s room. But it only created dark shadows in the corners. I caught my breath as I thought I saw the blade of Death’s scythe catch a ray of the sun, but it was only the metal part of my mom’s IV. I spent most of the day by mom’s side. Holding her hand, talking to her when she was awake.

I am a poet. And poetry helps me understand the world. As the day turned to night, I had a refrain play in my head, “while death waits.” Which became a poem and the title of my latest collection of poetry. But at the time I was emotionally trying to keep Death in the hallway. He could lean against the wall all he wanted. I was going to be a son for as long as I could.

And Death did wait. He waited until I was back home to take my mom. Death waited until she was home.

My mom was released Sunday afternoon from the hospital. Her body had found a state of being that allowed her to go home. Hospice care was arranged, a new bed was being delivered to the house later in the week. That Wednesday she had a good report from the doctor. The chemo seemed to be working, in the sense of allowing her to have more time. Death does not believe in time.

My dad called Friday morning. I remember the sky was so blue as he shared that mom had passed away earlier that morning as he sat by her bedside. I wanted to ask if he had seen Death in the shadows, but there were too many tears between us. 

In September of 2023, my wife lost her mom. My mother-in-law was at home with her husband by her side. They live in the same town as us. That last month, my wife spent many nights with her mom and dad. I’ve never had the courage to ask my wife if she felt Death waiting in the house. 

Because I know now that Death doesn’t actually wait.

1 Comment

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

April 29, 2024 · 9:04 pm

A Poet Travels 1550 Miles

She was maybe 5 feet 2 inches. Her hair was white and done in the classic grandmother style, short with big curls. She carried two pages, yellowed with age, with her to the front of the room. I could see that the words were written by a typewriter. I wondered how long she had been holding on to these poems. She took a breath and shared the inspiration for the first poem. With venom still in her voice she explained how her ex husband never paid child support, so as a single mom she held down three jobs. Too many nights she would be working while her young son would be sleeping. The poem was written at work as she thought about her child.

The poem used a refrain filled with dragons and castles. Her love for her child was clear. She shared her second poem about fireflies that had such a cool ending the whole room responded with a group, “Ohhhh”. As we snapped our appreciation she turned to me and smiled.

Earlier during the poetry workshop we were working on a poem, and she had written a powerful phrase, “A shadowless soul”. As she smiled I understood her line.

The open mic continued with a range of poetic styles and backstories for each poem. Stories of loss, of family pride, and even one about how hard it was to decipher a poem written down on a bar coaster.  There were tears, laughter, and for a while a sense of community. This was the power of poetry, but more importantly the day revealed the power of the human heart.

I recently finished the book Walking the Trail by Jerry Ellis. He walked the Cherokee Trail of Tears backwards to his home. Along the way he met a variety of people, some giving him objects for a burial ritual he planned when he returned home, but all shared some part of their story with him.  During the book he would share how he thought of those people, how their stories were part of his story now.  

After the three author events I have been a part of, I understand that spiritual connection. Once I shared the inspiration for my latest book of poetry, While Death Waits, many people would share their stories of loss. Tears filling their eyes and voices. A moment of remembrance, and I think of healing. For a moment our stories bonded us, gave us a chance to know we were not alone. This is the power of poetry… the strength of the human heart.

1 Comment

Filed under Life, writing

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

March 29, 2024 · 8:58 am

It is hard to reach your goals

So, I’m not doing what I set out to do. I am supposed to be writing a really cool short story idea I have. I am at my favorite writing spot at my local coffee shop, The Blue Moon. I have my Bizarre Orange Encounter drink. (My traditional drink for moments like this.) My writing playlist is hitting the right notes. But I am blogging.

Chasing your dreams is hard.

Today, this moment, is a perfect example why.

First, I had planned this moment a few days ago. Our trash needs to be out on the curb at 7 a.m. I was like, I could just go to the Blue Moon to write before the day started. 

It opens at 7:30. We are on Easter break. Perfect way to start the day. Well, it was a struggle to just get here.

I got the garbage out in time, but had to fight… fight the urge to just crawl back into bed and sleep. The voice in my head tempted me with the thought that I could write another time. And it is true… but that is the first hurdle to achieving your goals. Actually working on it.

There will always be something to take you away from working on your goals, especially if you have to hold down a job to chase your dream or raise a family or any relationship. We only have so much time. We all have the same amount each day. We decide how to spend it. It’s important to spend it well. That means your relationships, your job, but also your goals. 

Yes, you have to plan your time, and that is OK. Plan the time with friends and family, but also your goals, and stick to it.

The second hurdle was my youngest daughter. She loves having breakfast at the Blue Moon. I was tempted to see if she wanted to go. To sit and talk with her about Taylor Swift and horses. But if I did, I wouldn’t get any writing done. Achieving balance is part of life. Hence, the reason for planning your time. It helps you maintain that balance so you can strive for your goals and be a good friend, father, and husband (in my case).

I showered, grabbed my computer, kissed my wife and headed to the Blue Moon. Got my drink. Put in my headphones. And started this blog… which is also a hurdle.

 I am supposed to be working on a new short story. Instead, I am blogging. I know what you might be thinking reader. How is this a bad thing? You blog all the time.

It is bad because I am not working toward my goal. I want to be known as a writer. I have novels that are not completed. Short story rough drafts in notebooks. I have so many ideas that are not completed. They don’t write themselves.

Yes, I am happy to blog. I hope this post helps you in your pursuit of your dreams. But I wonder, am I just afraid to reach for that big dream. Are you afraid, too? 

We find ways to distract ourselves, to give ourselves excuses not to chase those big dreams.

Today has 24 hours. Plan it well. Love your family and friends, but your goals need your time and effort too. 

1 Comment

Filed under Family, Life, writing

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,

March 17, 2024 · 3:37 pm

Blueberry Muffins and Obedience

Today has been routine, blueberry muffins (and scrambled eggs and sausage patties) then church.

My mood was and is still a little blue after yesterday’s slam event (I Quit). But life has a way of giving me dots to connect (regular readers understand that reference). The message today was about obedience. This post is not about the sermon, it is about this life.

Obedience: noun

1 a: an act or instance of obeying

   b: the quality or state of being obedient

*from Merriam-Webster.

First topic, writing, especially poetry but also any goal someone is pursuing. We understand the work it takes to pursue any goal. The dedication, the time, and the energy it takes. Even with the talent and work ethic, success is not guaranteed. But some form of failure seems to be. I think we all understand this concept, so let’s go deeper and bring in obedience.

“The quality or state of being obedient.” How is this connected to following a dream? Might be an unpopular take but I believe that our goals and dreams are part of who we are. In all our shades of colors, we are here to live a life driven by our goals. Of course they change as we grow, as we learn, and as we fail. And yes, others have the same goals. I can’t even imagine how many people want to be a poet… but they can’t write my poems.

Being obedient to a dream is to be true to ourselves.  To give our life the authority of creating our everydayness. Yesterday (and still a little today), I felt like giving up on poetry, on writing. But I actually have a rough draft of a poem already on paper…

Poetry is not something I do

It is who I am

Do you not understand?

I understand, too well, that following a goal is not so easy, that our everyday life is filled with decisions and the welfare of other people. That we have in our hearts a collection of desires and hopes. There are moments when our dreams are in conflict with each other, and we have to make a choice. Which dream do we obey?

Obedience is not giving away our power, it is fulfilling what our life should be. We can rebel, I can quit writing. I can ignore the muse when it strikes. I did not have to write this blog post. You, reader, would have never known I was rebelling. Rebelling against who I am… but that’s not being REAL. (My word for the year.)

What about the muffins? Faithful readers know the role of making muffins on Sunday for my family. It is also an act of obedience. Obedience to my dream, my reality of having a loving home, having a tradition that brings us all together as much as possible. A dream I try to be obedient to every day.

1 Comment

Filed under Family, Life, writing

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,

March 16, 2024 · 9:17 pm

I Quit

I just spent almost two hours on the road thinking about how to write this post. I was traveling back from Lincoln where I competed in a poetry slam. The winner represents the state of Nebraska at the Blackberry/ Peach national slam this summer.

I got last.

That means the judges scored my poem and my performance the lowest out of all the competitors.

Last.

I’ve been working on my delivery, my pauses, my speed and pronunciation of words, especially throughout the whole poem. To speak clearly at the end as I do at the beginning.

I got last.

And right now, when adding other poetic endeavors, I quit.

I have been writing poetry since junior high. I have self published six books of poetry, participated in the April Poem a Day for five years. I have been sharing my works during The Jam, a weekly poetry / spoken word / music space on X for at least 80 some episodes. I have notebooks, post-it notes, and other scrap paper with rough drafts of poems.

Right now, I don’t care. 

The frustration and heartache of trying to be a poet is too much. My confidence is shaken. My chest hurts. This feeling sucks. It seems that I deal with more negative aspects of chasing this dream than positive moments. My tank is empty.

So, today, I quit.

Now, tomorrow?

Well, that is a different poem.

15 Comments

Filed under Life, writing

Tagged as , , , , , , ,