Tag Archives: love

Light-up Shoes

Shoes“My shoes?” my youngest daughter asks. Right now almost everything is a question.

“My daddy?” she asks after daycare.

“Yep, I’m your daddy,” I would say. Then she would smile. I totally understand Tim McGraw’s song “Grown Men Don’t Cry” now.

But back to the shoes. They are light-up Paw Patrol shoes. My little girl ran around the living room making the shoes light up. Every few seconds she would ask if I had seen the lights on her shoes. Then she would ask mom, the girls, my oldest son. “See my shoes?”

I will be honest, I was hit with the fact that I would soon not buy another pair of light-up shoes. I’m pretty sure that every one of my kids have gotten a pair of light-up shoes. They would run around making them light up.  They would smile. It was the best day of their young lives the day they got light-up shoes. Such a simple thing, but brings such a pure joy.

My oldest son was eating a quick breakfast, he had speech practice this morning. But he stopped and responded to his sister. I wondered if I had done anything for him so he felt like he was having the best day of his young life. I was a washed with dad guilt. Raising six kids, being a husband, being in the middle of figuring out a career, can make life feel restricted and stressful. But it is the small things that make the biggest difference in this world.

Love is expressed in the small things, an unexpected hug, a funny GIF sent in an email/text. A handwritten note can clear away the storm clouds. A favorite drink or candy bar can change a person’s view. Or having pockets…

My daughter stops in front of me. Her hands are stuffed into her little front pockets of her pants. “I have pockets!” It is not a question. Then she takes off running with her hands still stuffed into her pockets. My dad instincts kick in, I hope she doesn’t fall as she makes it to the front door.

“My coat?” she asks with a smile.

It’s going to be a great day, even if I do shed a tear.

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Greatness

Good morning. Or afternoon. Or evening. I don’t know when you might come across this post, but I wrote it for you.

Let’s cut to the chase, we need you to be great today. No, seriously. We need you to be on your game today. We need you to be a great mother or father, a great friend, a great person, a great writer, a great YOU.  Here’s why.

The world has enough average people. The world has too many below average people. The world has enough hate, disrespect, and coldness. What we need is you to be great.  To be strong. To live your life to the fullest at this moment.

I can hear some of you, life is too hard to be great. Thank you for proving my point. How is being less than your best helping make your life better? It is not. I know that it can be crazy getting the kids ready for the day. But being average, being rattled, being short and snippy at the kids does not make the moment better. Being at your best is not a guarantee that getting the kids ready in the morning will not be work, but it sure makes the moment better.

Life can be hard. I know that.  Which is even more of a reason for you to be great, to live your life to your greatest potential. Your life needs you to rise up to a higher level.

I can hear you, too. I’ve tried being better but it didn’t work. Yoda was right when he said:

Do or not do

The word TRY gives us an excuse not to succeed. To not be our best. It deflects the responsibility of our lives to an abstract idea or worse to another person.  You either live to your potential or you don’t.  Stop trying. We need you to BE GREAT. Your family, your dreams, your life needs your greatness. I know you you know it. Now live it.


Share this with anyone you know who might need a reminder that we need their greatness.

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Poem

I get lost sometimes, really I do

The noise and commotion of life

Drowns out the simplest direction

 

To love each other

 

I find myself walking in circles

Even if it is just in my head

Wondering why it gets so dark

 

To see the path

 

I would ask a friend

But everyone seems like a stranger

Busy going nowhere

 

To help me find my way

 

So I stand here or there

Trying to hear, trying to see

But others just knock me down

 

To  the ground

 

I get lost sometimes, really I do

But through the noise and commotion

I try to follow the simplest direction

 

To love…

 

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Never Faltered

I will be honest; I have wanted to write about this for a while.  There is a gentleman in our church who has impacted my life and my family through the simplest thing.  He loved his wife.

For years, by chance, we sat behind him and his wife.  His wife’s hearing was bad and he would spend the service helping her find the song in the hymnal or repeat what the Father had said, “He said there was going to be donuts after the service.” Not once did I hear an attitude of frustration leak into his voice.  During the winter he would help her with her coat.  They would hold hands during the service.

We attend a catholic church, and he would shake all of my children’s hands during the moment when the congregation would offer each other the sign of peace (shaking hands and repeating, “Peace be with you.”).  Through the years we would run into them at the supper market. He would always spend a moment and a smile with us.  They were married for 50 plus years.

He lost his wife a little over a year ago.  And he now attends Saturday night services. He still stops to talk and smile with us when we attend Saturday services, too.  I haven’t had the courage (but I plan on telling him the next time I see him) to share with him how his everyday love for his wife was a real example for me as a husband and person.  His love for his wife was visible and constant.  At different times I reflect on his example as a reminder that the strongest way to build my marriage and life is in how I love everyday.

Our lives are living examples for everyone around us.  Or everyday practices mean more in the long run than a single grand moment. Not that single moments don’t make an impact.  But his example was so true, so powerful because it never faltered.  This world can pull and push and drag us with different influences.  We can spend our days being pushed and pulled and dragged through this life.  Or we can stand strong in our lives.  Loving those that matter most to us every single day.

To gently whisper, “Page 87, dear.” Place our hand on her shoulder, pull her close, and sing as if we are the only two people in the church.

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Default

I have been working too long with technology.  As I consider deeper aspects of life, computer metaphors come to mind.  I have been working with my own default settings.

What I really mean is our basic response to life.   In coach talk it is like muscle memory for sports but for life it is those response we do without thinking.  And honestly, most of the time those responses are negative.  We get home from work and we want to relax but life challenges us with something and we become snippy.  Or we see that person, a colleague or student, we just don’t get along with and we start thinking some negative thoughts about them.  A default setting kicks in.

I am working on mine.  To be honest, I am trying to make my default settings reflect love.  Not the Care Bear, “let’s all hug” type, but the basic strong and understanding love that allows me to build strong bonds with people in this life.

As a parent I get to test this new setting out every night right now.  My youngest daughter is getting out of her bed at least three times a night.  She makes her way into our room, sometimes crying, sometimes silently until she asks for me.  Any parent will agree this is one of the toughest parts of parenting.  Being awaken when you are finally sleeping well. I have not always handled this well; especially on the third or fourth or firth time she finds her way to our room. My default setting has been negative.

But I am working on that.  I breathe in, checking my attitude, and hold my little girl as she drinks some milk.  I gently put her back into bed, cover her and check on her sister to see if she needs her blanket adjusted.  In a few minutes I am back under the blankets, still hoping that that was the last trip of the night, but knowing that I didn’t snap at her, or infuse the situation with a negative vibe.

It is not easy resetting the default.  Like a computer or iPad, you have to go into the settings and adjust things.  But if you do spend that time making the adjustments, the computer or iPad ends up working so much better for you.

So it is in life. Spending time working on our default settings can make this day work so much better for us.

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PicLit Poem: These Hands

Designed at PicLits.com

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Turning 40 “Love”

Designed with PicLits

The most important lesson I’ve learned was best said in the above quote, “Love is the only rational act.”  At first it seems like a basic feel good quote, but it is deeper than that. Love is the only RATIONAL act. Love has a strong image link to the heart and emotions, but Morrie connected it to our head and thinking.  Put simply Love produces positive results, it works. It makes sense as a founding principal for our lives.

My kids respond to Love better than to me yelling.  The waitress who is having a rough day responds better to an understanding comment from me.  A smile trumps a frown in the classroom.  I feel energized when I am involved in activities I love. Love works.

Living out this idea is not easy with the everyday stress we experience.  But I’ve noticed that a negative reaction may solve a problem right then, but causes more issues later.  While living out Love takes patience and even at times makes the current issue tough to get through, the long-term benefits are positive. It takes real strength, an intentional spirit, and an open heart, but living out the idea of Love makes all the difference. It is the rational thing to do that leads to an emotional filled life.

Bonus, because I love music I made a small playlist of songs that reveal an aspect of this idea. Enjoy.

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