Tag Archives: life

Connections

The picture is my youngest daughter with an iPad.  She will turn two in late December.  I recently made folders on the iPad, and with out any instruction, she figured out where her favorite apps were.  She enjoys drawing and animal apps, the ones that make the animal noises.  And yes, we have set her down in front of the iPad when we need a minute or two to finish dinner.  But as soon as I grab a book, or flop down on the floor, she will ignore the iPad to interact with me.  But will that always be the case?

A few weeks ago the boys had their first basketball practice. The whole elementary basketball league met at the high school for this practice.  There were some high school boys helping, and a few other boys that may have been there to help but were goofing around at an open basket.

Two of the boys were on the basketball team and were dressed in practice gear.  The third boy was dressed in jeans and a too-large polo shirt.  They were shooting crazy shots, doing alley-oops, just being teenagers.  Burning off energy and having a fun time.  Honestly, I was watching them with a touch of jealousy as they jumped to see if they could touch the rim.  I remembered those younger days when my friends and I would do the same thing.  Some milestones of adolescence do not change; other aspects seem to be changing.

The three of them were lost in the moment, simply being friends, simply having fun.  Then a cell phone went off.  The boy in the jeans immediately grabbed his phone to send a quick text.  That changed everything, the simplest yet powerful connection of that moment was gone.  One of the boys went off to help a group, the boy in the jeans and the other boy tried to continue to play, but the cell phone was now the most important thing.

Technology had become the focus.  At one point the boy in the jeans was throwing an alley-oop passes to the other one.  The boy had the ball in his hands when his phone went off again.  Ball in one hand, he pulls out the phone to check the text message.  Without even looking at his friend, he simply rolls the basketball toward the basket.  His attention now fully on the phone.  His friend grabbed the ball and walked off.  It saddened me.

I love technology, but this life is about people, about relationships.  Technology allows us even greater opportunities to connect with friends and family.  It gives us a chance to make connects with people we normally would never had been able to before.  But at this time when the definition of Friend is “click accept.”  That a text message on the phone has to be answered right now, no matter what is happening. We need to make the focus on the connection to people, not on the means of making the connection.

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Are You Ready?

For all the hours I’ve spent on the road, all the years living in Nebraska and Wyoming, I have never hit a deer or an antelope.  I have had a number of other car accidents, but I’ve always spotted the deer while driving before anything bad could happen. Until this morning…

Right now, it is completely dark for most of my commute.  This morning the moon accompanied me on my drive. I was in between Doniphan and the interstate (as the picture below shows).  Things were going fine, music on, cruise set, and I was checking traffic to decide when to go into the left lane so I could merge onto the interstate.  I just crossed the bridge when the deer appeared.

Image from Google Maps

I was still in the right lane when the deer appeared on the passenger side, just in the fading part of the headlights. Both of us were caught in that eternal second. Because of the light the deer looked like a ghost, faded, almost transparent.  I could see his head snap back and his black eyes widen.  I swear his expression was, “What the….”

I did nothing. Which was the best thing. The deer and I caught up with time. It seemed my car lurched forward to do it, getting ahead of the deer to miss him.  I looked into my review mirror but could not see if he crossed the road or not.

No matter how much we try, we cannot control Life.  We have control of our attitude, or work ethic, and our smile.  But Life, it is like a box of Ping-Pong balls dumped out on a concrete floor.  We will get knocked around, sometimes drastically.  This got me thinking about dictionaries…

As an English teacher I forever get the question, “How do you spell that?”  I would always respond with directions to the bookshelf where the dictionaries sat waiting to be opened.  Even when my students had computers I would get that question.  At a time when answers are sometimes just a click away, why did my students still ask that question?

I think part of the shift we are experiencing, in school and our own lives, must include the ability to react (or know when not to in my case) to Life.  That is a grand statement, but I’m not sure I have had a whole day where something didn’t go wrong.  Where a Ping-Pong ball didn’t knock something off track.  Or a deer run out in front of you.  Are you prepared to react, to adapt?  Are students prepared?

Courtesy of Flickr user Lester Public Library

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Turning 40 “Life”

Designed with PicLit.com

This morning was a reminder of one of the aspects of life I’ve learned.  It started as one of those mornings. Trash and recycling need to be put out on the curb. Lunches needed to be made.  Diapers to daycare.  Movies to return. My oldest son overslept.  My youngest daughter didn’t want to be put down. It was time for me to start my commute and I was nowhere close to pouring my coffee into my travel mug.

I multi-task, carrying the last of the recycling, diapers under on arm, movies clutched in a few fingers to put in my wife’s car.  Both garage doors opening is an appropriate sound track to the morning, arrrrgrarrrarrr, clunk-clunk.

It is about 6:20 in the morning, dark, and my breath can be seen as the cold tickles my forearms.  It takes three trips to get the trash and recycling to the curb. The constellation Orion is above the southern horizon.  Mars is shining bright toward the east.  Beautiful. I take a few minutes to star gaze (I don’t know why, but stargazing is special for me).

In those few minutes the stars reminded me that life is beautiful.  No matter what is going on in life, “nothing dims these stars.”  I know that life can be hard. I know even in good times there can be a grimy feeling to life. Diamonds can collect filth on them.  But the shine is still there; the diamond will sparkle (like a star) with a little cleaning.

Minutes later as I was getting into my car, my sons came out to get into the minivan.  “Did you guys see the stars?” I asked.  We go out to the drive way and we stargaze together for a minute.  For a moment life hits me, in a single moment I feel the beauty of life so true that it almost crushes my heart.  There I stood with my two sons, in front of our new home, on the driveway that we play basketball.  Life can be hard. I know this. There is pain and disappointment, tragedy that can also crush a heart.

It takes work, it takes time, but no matter how filthy a diamond becomes, it still has its shine. “Nothing dims these stars.”

“Dad, there is a new Clone Wars on tonight!” Both boys head to the minivan chatting excitedly about the show tonight. I smile. Everyone has their own set of stars.  What allows you to know that life is beautiful?

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Turning 40 “Love”

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The most important lesson I’ve learned was best said in the above quote, “Love is the only rational act.”  At first it seems like a basic feel good quote, but it is deeper than that. Love is the only RATIONAL act. Love has a strong image link to the heart and emotions, but Morrie connected it to our head and thinking.  Put simply Love produces positive results, it works. It makes sense as a founding principal for our lives.

My kids respond to Love better than to me yelling.  The waitress who is having a rough day responds better to an understanding comment from me.  A smile trumps a frown in the classroom.  I feel energized when I am involved in activities I love. Love works.

Living out this idea is not easy with the everyday stress we experience.  But I’ve noticed that a negative reaction may solve a problem right then, but causes more issues later.  While living out Love takes patience and even at times makes the current issue tough to get through, the long-term benefits are positive. It takes real strength, an intentional spirit, and an open heart, but living out the idea of Love makes all the difference. It is the rational thing to do that leads to an emotional filled life.

Bonus, because I love music I made a small playlist of songs that reveal an aspect of this idea. Enjoy.

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Turning 40 “The Past”

“Today is the moment when your past and future meet.”

I have been struggling with how to articulate this idea with out writing some deep philosophy book.  Simply stated, what I’ve learned is that our past is important, but we don’t handle its power well.

On the extreme edges we either ignore it or let it cripple us.  Somewhere in the middle is where we can use it to improve today and build for tomorrow.  Our past affects us, even if we don’t always recognize it.

The crazy part is it doesn’t matter if the past was 10 years or 10 minutes ago.  Over the years I’ve seen how the past affects my students.  I’ve seen how the drama of the last class took 10 minutes for them to get focused, to the way a movie we watched in class brought back the pain of the loss of a parent.

I have been guilty of not seeing my students fully. Wondering why they just did that?  Or frustrated with their work ethic.  I am guilty of not considering their past and how it might play a role in their behavior.  To use my English teacher vocabulary, we all are round dynamic characters in this life.  We all have a past, we all have dreams and goals we want to achieve. And today is the moment when our past and future meet. If we are aware of this I think we can tackle issues with a clearer objective.  If we can help our students see that, maybe we can help them build a better future.

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Where I am Today (Turning 40 post)

As I count down to my fortieth birthday, I feel like I need to write the expected “What I’ve Learned” blog post.   So, over the next three weeks I will share a series of things I’ve discovered in my first forty years of life.  But first, I’m going to start with where I am right now.

As I write this I am working from home, actually I’m at the Blue Moon having a Cinnamon Roll Latte.  I am in my third month with a new job.  To be honest, I am still adjusting.  Not just to the new job, but to what I left behind to take this opportunity.  My family is strong, and in fact doing well because of my new job.

I am a few pounds over weight, got an app to help me stay motivated with that.  I thought that sometime I would actually feel like an adult, but I don’t.  I sing in the hallways at work, tell bad jokes, and release a Woohoo! in every conversation I have.  I feel insecure, doubt barrages me all the time.  I miss my friends.  And I feel like a failure with all the goals I haven’t achieved.

Sometimes my family breaks my heart with the most beautiful moments. The way my girls say “I love you, daddy.”  Watching my son shine on stage.  The beauty of my wife’s smile.

I don’t know why, but approaching this birthday has been a challenge.  I think I have more questions then answers, but I hope to share with you a few insights over the next couple of weeks. Next Turning 40 post, “Why the past matters.”

 

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Change / Fate (A Turning 40 Post)

“Closer to the Edge” 30 Seconds to Mars
Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free?
The birth of a song, the death of a dream
Closer to the edge

This never ending story
Paid for with pride and fate
We all fall short of glory
Lost in ourselves

No, I’m not saying I’m sorry
One day maybe we’ll meet again
No, I’m not saying I’m sorry
One day maybe we’ll meet again

My students will not be surprised at my analysis of this song and its connection to life.  This song has been my summer song, not only because me and my second son dance to it in the kitchen, but it just hits a vibe with my life.  The line about the birth of a song but connected with a death of a dream reveals the cost of change.  Changes in our life hold both constructive and destructive powers.

Many people forget the lines “I shall be telling this with a sigh / Somewhere ages and ages hence:” from Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Not Taken”. The rest of the poem deals with choosing the path less traveled, but these lines are ambiguous about the true benefit of that choice.

As my fortieth birthday approaches, I look back at all the roads I traveled.  And the ones I didn’t.  I have to wonder how I got here, did I make the right choices?  Was there truly any other paths to follow?   The question of Fate has no easy answer, I love when we cover the book The Natural and dissect the theme of fate presented in the story.  I try to let the students work with their own views of this complex idea.  Because I can not answer them, I can only live closer to the edge where the choices are to be made, knowing that each choice will open one door and close another.

As the video asks, Are you ready? I say bring on the next 40 years…

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Perfect Day

So, I had a weird thought…. A perfect day…

As many of you know, the above clip comes from the movie version of Tuesdays with Morrie. I used this movie / book in my psychology class and asked the students what their perfect day would be.  The students’ days may have been a little crazy, but like Morrie, they all involved family and friends.

But my crazy idea is why can’t every day be perfect?  Now, I’m not living in la-la-land, I do have a two-year-old in my house so we move from happy to tantrum faster then it took to type this sentence .  My life is still in a huge transition phase, and I know that this life can be hard…

But I have a crazy idea… I have family, I have friends, and I have this day. Perfect.

What will make this day perfect for you?

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Cruise Control

My new commute is mostly on the interstate, and like everyone I set the cruise control and drive.

But is setting the cruise really driving?  It seems like it is more of an attitude that we have set our speed and we are not going to change.  No matter what.

I am sure you have experienced that car that sits just inside your blind spot, no matter what you do with the cruise control.

Or the car that is set a half a MPH faster than the truck it is passing.

How about when you see that you will be able to pass the car and truck ahead of you, so you move into the left lane, and just as you get to the car… it jumps into the left lane making you slow down (and yea, it is the car that is a half MPH faster than the truck).

But is this cruise control attitude just a reflection of what we do with our lives?  The cruise control comes in many different forms in life.  Work, school, same nightly routine.  Cruise control is a great function for the car and life. At times. I have become angry when I drive just using cruise control (“just pass the truck, the cruise goes back down automatically,” I’ve mumbled on the road). But, I’ve noticed I feel the same when I am living by cruise control.  When something happens that makes me step on the brake, or change lanes; a sick child, me ruining dinner (homemade French fries are not easy to make), or any number of things that are just apart of life. A part of driving.

The road I drive to work stays the same, but I will never have the same driving experience, ever.  The cars and trucks change, road construction, a new CD to listen to, any number of things make each day different.  At times I can just cruise.  At times life runs smoothly.  But we must be ready to drive. A car is designed for that, just as life is designed to be lived.  Enjoy the drive today.

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Welcome Back

Welcome back. I have officially started my new position as a Remote Learning Specialist with ESU 10.  I have been battling with the direction I should take with this new blog. I have debated about the tile, what I should write about, and other small factors as I start this new path.  Then I came across this quote:

“You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” ~ Charles “Tremendous” Jones

Today, we can meet a variety of people, our selection of reading is incredible and we are becoming connected on so many different levels.  This led me to the title, “It is All Connected” and deciding to write blog posts that reflect life as I live it.  I hope we can connect through this blog and that the connection will be a positive influence in your day.

Here is a sneak peak at some upcoming posts.

Value in Education.  This is an evolving idea I have been working on that looks at five components that give anything value, but with a focus on education.

Turning 40.  In October I will be turning 40 years old.  I don’t know why, but this upcoming birthday has been challenging my perspective of things.

A Book Series.  I have always wanted to share / discuss unique aspects of some of my favorite books I use in the classroom.  The Outsiders, Lord of the Flies, and The Catcher in the Rye (to name just a few).

One type of conclusion is using a quote, so I leave you today with this video clip from Charles “Tremendous” Jones.

 

 

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