Tag Archives: memories

November 19, 2025 · 4:55 pm

Remembering

I have a routine on the weekend when I spend time in my classroom grading. I grab some CDs to listen to as I grade. I pick an album or two, usually an artist I haven’t listened to in awhile. But I always pick two of my mixed CDs. Some of them are titled, like “The 107 Mix”. (Don’t ask how I come up with titles.) But others are not labeled, they sit in their paper sleeve like a musical gift for me to listen to.

Last Sunday I listened to the soundtrack for Reality Bites and the album Vertigo by Billie Myers. I had two mixed CDs. One of them was purple, part of the cool colors line of CDs from Memorex. The other was a plain silver CD with no title. I had a lot of grading to do last weekend. (I actually didn’t get home until 11:30 that night.)

I don’t actually remember when I decided to open the musical gift of the purple mixed CD, but when the first song started, I teared up.

When I worked at Centura I had a group of colleagues that loved sharing music with each other. We even made our “Top 10 Songs of All Time” mixed CDs that we shared with each other. Even now, I will snap a picture of the car radio when one of their songs is playing and text it to them.

The purple CD was not a top ten CD (those were in the slim plastic case and had an insert with the song title and artist listed). This CD was a mix of blues music Mr. Monter had made just for me. This was also part of the friendship in the group. Making CD mixes we thought someone would like.

The opening notes of B.B. King’s “All Over Again” hit me with a wave of joy and sadness. Mr. Monter was my principal at Centura. He passed away over 10 years ago. Yes, I have blogged about Mr. Monter before. I miss him.

But I have a purple CD with a range of blues music that he made for me. OK, I have a number of mixed CDs, but I listened to this one as I graded essays last Sunday. I thought about our golf outings. I thought about my other friends. I thought about how life gives us incredible moments. I thought about how important it was to have a physical artifact of our friendship. (Yes, I got grading done.)

Maybe I am just getting old, but lately I’ve found myself stepping away from the digital aspects of my life. Some people may have noticed on X, I don’t know. But there is magic in the physical world that I can not experience in the digital world. Yes, a song on Spotify can bring back memories, but to be surprised and hold a physical representation of a friendship brings a depth of joy I can feel in my hands and my heart.  There is nothing artificial in that moment. Nothing temporary or forgotten after scrolling.

By the way, I wrote a title for the purple CD on the sleeve, “Remembering a Friend”.

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March 2, 2024 · 7:25 pm

Top 100 Memories

My last music based post was last November (2023). If you are a regular reader you know that my best friend and I are counting down our top 100 songs of all time. Today was number 39. Each day we share a little about why the song is part of the top 100. The coolest part is appreciating the memories that go with the songs. The first concert for my second son, singing in the hallways of high school, playing Nintendo Ice Hockey.

No, I am not going to share all the songs or memories. But it is a Saturday night and it feels like a good time to share a few of the songs from my list, but only the ones that have been shared. (I might do a post about the top 10 when we are done.)

The first song is “The Men Who Drive Me Places” by Ben Rector. (Number 96)

What I love most about this song is the reminder that we all have stories. We all have dreams. Sometimes they come true. Other times, the dreams are partially realized. But we chase them, and along the way we live life with the people we love.

The second song is “Who’s Behind the Door” by Zebra. (Number 82)

Yes, a trip back to the 80s when you would go to a friend’s house to lounge around and listen to music. Zebra was a band we both loved. We would go to the mall to buy their cassettes. And listen to it in his car on the way home. (I did not have a car in high school… that is another story.) I love the idea of what is beyond our world in the song, and the memories of a friendship that has lasted for decades. Side note: if you like live albums, Zebra’s live album is fantastic.

The final song is “I Can See It in Your Eyes” by Men at Work. (Number 47)

Business as Usual by Men at Work was the first cassette I ever bought, and with my own money. I would listen to this album while I played Atari 2600 after school. Centipede was one of my favorite games. Next was Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark. The only game I ever finished. I kept dying on the last level of Frogger. Back to the music, this is one of those rare cases that I like the album songs more than the radio hits. This song is a unique look at the end of a relationship and the passing of time. Their music has always been original and I have been a fan for a long time.

The bittersweet aspect of listening to the soundtrack of my life is knowing that all I have now is the memories. After all the events over the past year, I can’t lie that I wish I could somehow go back and relive some of the best moments of my life. I know the future has joyful moments to come, but still… 

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October 15, 2023 · 9:15 pm

This house is not a home

I am not going to talk about all the dots life has been sharing with me about this idea. There have been many, some very deep and challenging. Instead I’m going to jump right to the point of this post, and that means we are jumping into deep waters right away.

Our lives are our homes.

A house is just one of the facets of building a home. It is a central spot where we build our homes. But it is just one of the elements to a strong home, a strong life.

Our routines are central to the quality of our homes. This doesn’t mean our lives are just a series of repeated actions, far from it. Routines that build a sense of safety and love allow us to do wonderful things. 

A major routine I have is to wake every child with Care Bear or unicorn energy. Even if they have the morning blues, I make sure they know a new day has begun, and I am happy to wake them. (My boys still talk about how much they hated my energy in the morning… but with smiles now.)

Another routine we have, as many of you readers know, is Sunday morning blueberry muffins.  We also try to have dinner together every night, even with practices, musical concerts, and games.

Even the simplest routines influence the sense of home during the day. For example, I fill everyone’s water bottle in the morning and make lunches when they don’t like the option at school. Every day.

I could go on, but these routines would happen anywhere, any house, under any circumstance, and they have. They happened when I was jobless. When we lived with the in-laws for six months. We were home.

Another aspect of home is the people we let in the front door. The people we let into our lives. Now, this is a tough element to delve into. If someone came into your home and started breaking your dishes, throwing them on the floor, and ransacking the cupboards…Would you just sit there and let them? Or if they started screaming at your children or taking a hammer to the walls? Would you just sit and smile while you watched them? I don’t think so.

Yet… yet, we allow people to emotionally do this to us. To walk into our lives and destroy us in the name of family or friendship. Our home becomes filled with fear, angst, doubt and negativity. We would defend our dishes, but not our hearts? Our home is influenced by the people we ask into our lives. 

I understand the complexity of relationships, especially when the family is used to justify accepting someone’s actions. But I will protect my home, protect my heart from being thrown on the floor to break.

The final aspect of a home is the decorations, the pictures, the figurines, and the books on the end tables. The stories and memories we create are hung on the walls of our lives. A beautiful home is created by living fully with the people we cherish. 

Yes, big moments, like family vacations. But also the small moments of breakfast at McDs or taking snack walks. The walls of our lives should be filled with stories. Our lives are our homes… and a home is where we should feel free to live.

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May 3, 2021 · 7:32 am

Blueberry Muffins and the End of Everything

My three youngest daughters were all up early today. They were spread out in the living room. One reading, one drawing, and one on the iPad.

“What muffins today?” they asked. We have been alternating between blueberry and chocolate chip muffins, with a cinnamon option every once and awhile. 

“Blueberry,” I say.

They respond, “OK.” But I can tell they wanted chocolate chip muffins. But there were only two left at the end of the day.

Next week is graduation for my second son.

I turn 50 this year.

I completed the Writer’s Digest 2021 April Poem a Day challenge. (You can read the poems on my Creative Corner for Writing blog. I’ve been posting them when I can. I am on day 9.)

I just finished Kevin Garnett’s book A to Z. (Great book!)

And maybe I’m just waiting for the end of this pandemic, but I’ve noticed that there are more endings in my life lately. I understand that time moves on. That doesn’t stop my mind from considering how everything ends. By chance I learned that my stepmother died in November. I haven’t spoken to her or my father in decades. Of course learning of her passing brought back memories (not many were happy). The obituary mentioned that her children were by her side when she passed. No matter what happened while our stories were on the same path, her story is now over. 

I guess the aspect of endings I have been troubled by is the finality of most of the endings in this life. There is no way to redo moments in our lives. No matter how much we want to. That knowledge is the hard part of the ending, especially the ending of joyful moments. One of the lessons you learn as a dad. Letting go. Letting go of your children. Letting go of youth. Letting go of the past.

Yes, there is tomorrow and there are new beginnings. But a hard truth of life is that most of the endings in life leave you with only memories.

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January 2, 2012 · 10:56 pm

Power of a T-Shirt

With the extra time over break I spent time organizing my closet.  While I was working on my t-shirts I realized something… t-shirts are wearable scrapbooks, that bring back powerful moments in our lives.

Senior Year Swim Team

This is the front of my senior swim team shirt.  I was a diver.  I had high expectations my senior year.  I placed ninth at state my junior year, my first year diving.  But, I placed fourteenth, last, my senior year.  My best friend, who was a state champion, tried to console me after prelims (top 10 continue to finals the next day). This provided one of those friendship bonding lines; after I had finally told him what place I finished at he sincerely said, “I don’t know how you feel.”

The next shirt is the shirt from my first head coaching opportunity and represents one of my hardest decision as a father.

Pawnee City Team Shirt

This shirt was worn by every player on the team during warm-ups.  I was blessed to get the chance to be a head coach in my second year of teaching.  Even as I write this, I am flooded by the memories of the two seasons I coached.  Our first win, having a player crack his vertebrae during a homecoming game, running a crazy 2-3-3 defense (8 man) that allowed us to win a game.  But I made the decision to leave Pawnee City for my family and other reasons. I miss those players everyday.

Sometimes change comes from other people’s choices.

Centura Football

After Pawnee City, I was an assistant coach for the Centura football team.  Those eight years were filled with so many moments as a team, and for me as a coach.  A playoff game in freezing weather, a running back doing the spin move to make the touchdown after we had practiced that move that week, to not being apart of the team after eight years.

But there is something about being a head coach that fills or breaks your heart like nothing else.

Centura Track Team

I was again blessed to be a head coach for the Centura track team from 2009 to 2011.  Life has a funny way of presenting hard choices to you.  Again for family I would have to give up the opportunity to be a part a great team.  I miss wearing the fluorescent shirt to practice; it meant a killer practice for the athletes.  I miss building a season, the beauty and tragedy that track presents for athletes…one shot at performing at their best. Like life, the three years as head coach was filled with both heartbreak and incredible success.

But it isn’t all about sports.

Psychology

This shirt is from a year end project a student did for psychology class.  I have t-shirts from concerts, t-shirts of bands, t-shirts that represents all different types of moments from life.  So, what moment of life will you wear today?

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