Blueberry Muffins and the End of Everything

My three youngest daughters were all up early today. They were spread out in the living room. One reading, one drawing, and one on the iPad.

“What muffins today?” they asked. We have been alternating between blueberry and chocolate chip muffins, with a cinnamon option every once and awhile. 

“Blueberry,” I say.

They respond, “OK.” But I can tell they wanted chocolate chip muffins. But there were only two left at the end of the day.

Next week is graduation for my second son.

I turn 50 this year.

I completed the Writer’s Digest 2021 April Poem a Day challenge. (You can read the poems on my Creative Corner for Writing blog. I’ve been posting them when I can. I am on day 9.)

I just finished Kevin Garnett’s book A to Z. (Great book!)

And maybe I’m just waiting for the end of this pandemic, but I’ve noticed that there are more endings in my life lately. I understand that time moves on. That doesn’t stop my mind from considering how everything ends. By chance I learned that my stepmother died in November. I haven’t spoken to her or my father in decades. Of course learning of her passing brought back memories (not many were happy). The obituary mentioned that her children were by her side when she passed. No matter what happened while our stories were on the same path, her story is now over. 

I guess the aspect of endings I have been troubled by is the finality of most of the endings in this life. There is no way to redo moments in our lives. No matter how much we want to. That knowledge is the hard part of the ending, especially the ending of joyful moments. One of the lessons you learn as a dad. Letting go. Letting go of your children. Letting go of youth. Letting go of the past.

Yes, there is tomorrow and there are new beginnings. But a hard truth of life is that most of the endings in life leave you with only memories.

7 Comments

Filed under Family, Life

7 responses to “Blueberry Muffins and the End of Everything

  1. Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
    My Featured Blogger this week is Jamey Boelhower of It is all Connected. Here, sweet everyday parenting is coupled with a wistful look back on a less-than-perfect parent. Jamey’s prose and poetry are consistently thoughtful or witty, sometimes both. He also has numerous books in print.

  2. Yes, in the end, we are left with just memories. Make them the best ones you can. Wonderfully written. Scott

  3. book30woman

    This is one I truly can relate to in so many ways. In the next two weeks, I have two granddaughters graduating high school, and both are eager to enter the next stage of their lives. I instead remember rocking them as babies and wonder where time has gone. Life passes very quickly and we only realize this very much later in life.

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