Tag Archives: life

July 31, 2023 · 7:25 pm

That’s a Wrap!

Thirty-one blog posts! In a row! 

There were only a few days that I didn’t have a clear idea to write about, but I got rolling once my playlist started and my pen or fingers started writing. 

These monthly challenges have forced me to pay attention to my everyday routine. Sometimes my routine was thrown for a loop at the beginning of the month as I figured out when to complete that month’s challenge. But by doing that, I had to take inventory of how I spend my time. On a deeper level, was I spending time doing things that correlated to what I say is important to me?

For example, you may notice most of my posts are done in the evening. After dinner, after spending the day with family. Yes, I have my coffee next to me as I write. What you don’t know is that I took my walk earlier. Today we spent the afternoon buying school supplies. I had a doctor appointment this morning. Recorded the next episode of The Creative Moment with my son. 

I spent my day as a dad and husband. That’s important to me. 

As life often does, this idea of living life as close to one’s central beliefs has been a part of different conversations with different people over the last couple of days. My best friend’s new job allows him to travel but mostly work from home. My dad is dealing with the tough decision of what to do next in life. My daughter can’t wait for college to start, to finally start focusing her time chasing her dream of being a film director.

I don’t know if I will keep my streak alive of blogging everyday, but if you check the Archive menu, you will see I have been blogging for a long time. So, that won’t stop anytime soon. But I have some other aspects of life I have been wrestling with. How can I live out in my daily routine the things that are important to me? That’s a topic for another blog post.

What I do know, from doing these challenges, is that living is an active endeavor. You have to have an open heart, be cognitive of your actions, and step into your day – even if it is a routine part of the day. We all are given a life, we are responsible for how we live it.

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July 30, 2023 · 8:23 pm

Blueberry Muffins and Time

It is Sunday and faithful readers, you know we had blueberry muffins for breakfast. But this morning I got to travel forward in time, at least a little bit. At breakfast there were only my three youngest daughters with my wife and I. This will be our normal Sunday morning crew in a few weeks.

Today we held an open house for my in-laws’ home. Below are two pictures of the tree in their front yard. The winter picture is from 2011. The other picture was taken today.

The connection? Time.

More specifically, how time changes everything. There are good changes. There are regrets and heartbreak with some of the changes. 

We all know the cost of time. I don’t think we live our lives with that knowledge, though. If we did, our daily life would be drastically different. We would love without fear. We would dance more. We would eat cereal at midnight and our desserts first at restaurants.

But time is a tricky one to catch, because what happens is that we look up one day and a dozen blueberry muffins will be too much for just my wife and I. Time changes everything, even if we don’t see it.

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July 28, 2023 · 7:54 pm

A Blog Post about Nothing

So, yeah. It took to the 28th day of the challenge to get to a blog post about nothing.

Now, it was a normal day for me. A day filled with running errands. Car was serviced; why does the cabin filter always need changed? 

Got some groceries, which I love to do. I don’t understand how people just order online and then sit in their car waiting. How do you find an impulse buy? How do you know there is a new Pop-tart flavor? Or better, a new flavor of chips!

We made our famous Pizza Bake. Really easy dinner. Ground some hamburger, add pizza sauce. Use a crescent sheet on the bottom of a 9×13 casserole pan. Now here you can add any pizza stuff you want. We usually use pepperoni on half. Then place the hamburger over the whole bottom. Sprinkle grated cheese over the top, then cover with another crescent sheet. Bake until top is golden brown (about 14 minutes at 400).

We have almost 10 pizza recipes… and we still order out for pizza. 

I did not get my walk in today. That is the only negative.

So, I could say nothing happened. But really, life happened. 

My youngest daughter and I sang the song Whoomp! (There it is) in the car this evening.

I talked with both my boys by text this afternoon.

My second daughter and I ran to the library.

My third daughter still has my computer. She is working on a personal art project.

And it reached 102 degrees today.

This blog post is about nothing, nothing but life.

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July 27, 2023 · 9:07 pm

For Love of Poetry

Poetry.

Had an interesting discussion on Twitter about what poetry is, especially with the influence of social media and the spectrum of different divisions, like Spoken Word, Slam, Traditional, and all the other ways people are writing or performing poetry.

I wish I could tell you how many poems I have written… but I can’t. I have notebooks, scraps of paper, digital documents, tweets, and so many other places where I’ve written down words. Most of those words were worked into poetry.

I wrote on the edges of my notebooks during class when I was in school. Now, I speak into my phone on my walks to capture lines or ideas. I share poems on Twitter Spaces, I do poetry lessons for Move Me Poetry, and have been competing in Slams.

I do not earn any money from my poetry. Yes, every once in a while I sell a book, but by no means do I make any money. So, why do I write poetry? Why do I teach poetry when my students roll their eyes when I introduce it?

Because poetry is the closest art form to our human spirit. Yes, the human spirit is found in all the art forms… painting, drawing, music… but poetry, poetry beats with our hearts.

Even if it is the only poem they ever write, my students find the words to express themselves, and so many find courage to stand and speak their hearts to the class. I love walking the bridge back in time with Wordsworth, or walk the streets of Harlem with Langston Hughes. 

I write poetry so that I can breathe. I write poetry so that I can understand myself in this world. I write poetry to build a connection to anyone who reads my words.

I write poetry… to be me.

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July 26, 2023 · 7:24 pm

I am Sad

Grief is an interesting monster. One that feels comfortable in the dark or the sunlight. It can rise up to stand as tall as a giant but be light on its feet. Moving so fast you can’t hold on to it, yet still in grief’s shadow. Or the monster can shrink down to sit in your hand, but be so heavy that you have to use both hands to hold it. Its weight making your knees bend, taking all your energy just to stay upright.

I am sad.

I am sad because of the passing of my mom. And I know part of the lingering feeling is that we will have the memorial for her in September, when all the family can be there. A milestone in the grieving process has not happened.

But there have been other milestones that have fed the monster. She passed away just a few days from her birthday and a few weeks before my parents’ 52 anniversary. Life moments that should have been celebrations. 

I am sad. 

I am sad because death is the end of the story. Even while my mom was in the hospital, there was hope, there was the idea of tomorrow. So many things that were possible with tomorrow. There isn’t now. There is no tomorrow. There is no today. I used to send pictures to “Mom and Dad” on my phone. Now, I send them to just “Dad”. 

That’s why I am sad.

The monster attacks without warning. I never know the monster’s size or its intent. I only know that I am sad.

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July 24, 2023 · 8:04 pm

So this is a day…

Monday.

Spent the morning getting my daughters to morning weights. Took a walk. Discovered a store was closed on Mondays. Talked with a colleague and got her the rest of the copies of a book from my room. Got a coffee from The Blue Moon. Took a nap. Made my video lesson for Move Me Poetry. Made dinner and washed dishes.

I spent a little time in Spaces on Twitter (now X I guess) and am trying to write a blog post.

Those are some of the things I did.

I felt tired this morning. I am feeling a sense of sadness I can’t shake. I thought about the upcoming school year. I danced with moments of doubt. Considered just getting into the car and driving away.

Those were some of the things I felt today.

How many people spent their day doing more things than me? How many people had more intense feelings than me today? 

There are almost 2 million people in the state of Nebraska. Farmers, shop owners, doctors, school teachers, teenagers… all of us making it through a Monday with our own emotions, doing our own things.

Crazy to think about how a day is filled with so many lives, so many stories that will never be known by more than a few people. How many tears fell today… from crying or laughing.

Expand the idea to our country, to the world.

At the moment you are reading this, how many things are being done, how many emotions are being felt? 

What a fantastic thing this is… a day.

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July 22, 2023 · 7:31 pm

Sunshine and Storms

While we were in Wyoming we got rained on while the sun was shining.

The family was leaving the hotel. We stepped out onto the sidewalk under bright sunshine, then we were hit with big drops of rain. Enough to get us wet, but not soaked. My three daughters, who have never been to Wyoming, darted to the car laughing.

They had never seen a sunshower before; where wind carries rain from miles away. For a moment we were caught in a storm while the sun was shining.

I laughed as my girls clamored about what had just happened. But as I started the car, hitting the wipers, I thought the moment was a perfect metaphor for the day, for life in general. At any moment rain can appear, a storm, even if the sky stays clear and sunny.

There is a moment in the book Tuesdays With Morrie that captures this idea. Morrie is leaving the hospital after being diagnosed with ALS and the sun is shining. He shares how he was angry at the day for being so beautiful while he was facing devastating news. How could the world be so wonderful while he was dying?

I understand Morrie better after these last six months with my mom’s battle with cancer and her death. As my wife and I made quick trips to see her, I would feel the tension between the beautiful skies and the fear and worry of my mom’s health. On one trip my wife and I went downtown to get a coffee. It was a beautiful day. The baristas were wonderful. The coffee good. My wife and I sat enjoying a mint brownie. But we talked about what the future could be like without my mom in it, what would dad do, and when we should bring the kids to say goodbye.

Sunshine and storms. Smiles and tears. Wonder and fear. A life. 

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July 21, 2023 · 5:33 pm

This I Believe

This post will be a little poetic…

This I believe:

that saying thank you is a powerful way to show you care.

that dance parties are the best family bonding activity.

that taking walks is a form of prayer.

This I believe:

that friendships will save your life.

that showing love is a sign of strength.

that living your best life means you are growing.

This I believe:

that this world is beautiful, but we make it ugly.

that learning is how we become who we are.

that eating ice cream in the winter is the best.

This I believe:

that poetry is a type of magic.

that an open heart means having open eyes.

that we don’t trust the rain enough.

This I believe:

that heartbreak is inspiration.

that a smile is a way to speak the truth.

that living deeply is the only way to do it.

This I believe…

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July 20, 2023 · 8:47 pm

Keys

Today we were finishing up cleaning the in-laws’ house. In the garage hung about 50 different keys. They hung on different keychains. Only a few were labeled. It was my job to test all the keys on all the doors and padlocks.

Some keys I didn’t have to try because they were old car keys. The head of the key would have the brand stamped on it, so I knew I didn’t need to test them. But other keys were so worn that it was hard to know what kind of key it was.

Out of all those keys I found 6 that worked in a door or a padlock.

Some keys fit in every door, but would not unlock any of them. Other keys didn’t fit any door or lock. I sat there looking at the pile of keys that no longer worked and wondered about which door, which car, what part of life did these keys fit into. Why were the keys still hanging on nails in the garage?

What keys do we need in this life and what keys do we hang on to even though they are no longer needed?

We all have keys that unlock memories, unlocks our joy, and there are doors we try to hide the keys for so that no one can open that door. And then we have doors we keep trying to pry open because we lost or just don’t have the key. We shake the doorknob, slam our shoulder into the door. But it doesn’t budge… I hate it when a goal is sitting on the other side of that door.

I had to test keys today for my in-laws, but recognize that I need to work on my own keys in my life.

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July 19, 2023 · 7:46 pm

I don’t know what I’m writing

Seriously, this may be the most organic blog post ever. As I write these words, I do not know where my thoughts will take this blog. You have been warned.

I am sitting in my chair, rolling with my “Deep Thought” playlist and Pearl Jam’s song, “Just Breathe” is playing. I am trying some new coffee, which isn’t too bad. And I am lost.

Ohhh, “Bad Man’s Song” by Tears for Fears just started playing. Love this song! You should check it out.

OK, back to being lost. Besides on what to write for this blog post, I am feeling adrift at the moment. Part of that feeling stems from visiting my dad back home. The energy in the house was missing my mom’s gentleness. Her soft laugh. There was an undertow in the house as if life was trying to find a way to fill the emptiness in the house, but it didn’t know what to fill it with.

Life continues going no matter what happens to us as people. My mom died just a few days before her 69th birthday. Earlier this month was my parents 52nd anniversary. My dad has major holidays coming up. But even harder milestones will be the first University of Wyoming football game, then the start of basketball season. Let alone, drinking coffee alone each morning.

This life is an amazing gift but comes with responsibilities that challenge our very being. The first is that we are responsible for the quality of our happiness.  Even when others try to destroy us, tear us down. Even when the randomness of life breaks us. We are still responsible for every breath we take. It is a heavy load to carry, especially if we run from it.  Which I fear too many people do in so many different ways.

But to move through hardships, you have to move into them. And that means feeling the pain, screaming at God, crying when a song moves you to. I had never hugged my dad as he cried before until this visit. The moment needed to be felt, instead of running away from it.

We then drank coffee together in the kitchen. Yes, there was still an emptiness in the room, but we helped life fill it with love and the pictures he showed me of last fall when they went hiking. There was my mom smiling on a bridge in her University of Wyoming gear.

I’ll end with a song that played while I was writing… (Seriously it did!)

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