Tag Archives: life

January 16, 2014 · 8:36 am

Never Faltered

I will be honest; I have wanted to write about this for a while.  There is a gentleman in our church who has impacted my life and my family through the simplest thing.  He loved his wife.

For years, by chance, we sat behind him and his wife.  His wife’s hearing was bad and he would spend the service helping her find the song in the hymnal or repeat what the Father had said, “He said there was going to be donuts after the service.” Not once did I hear an attitude of frustration leak into his voice.  During the winter he would help her with her coat.  They would hold hands during the service.

We attend a catholic church, and he would shake all of my children’s hands during the moment when the congregation would offer each other the sign of peace (shaking hands and repeating, “Peace be with you.”).  Through the years we would run into them at the supper market. He would always spend a moment and a smile with us.  They were married for 50 plus years.

He lost his wife a little over a year ago.  And he now attends Saturday night services. He still stops to talk and smile with us when we attend Saturday services, too.  I haven’t had the courage (but I plan on telling him the next time I see him) to share with him how his everyday love for his wife was a real example for me as a husband and person.  His love for his wife was visible and constant.  At different times I reflect on his example as a reminder that the strongest way to build my marriage and life is in how I love everyday.

Our lives are living examples for everyone around us.  Or everyday practices mean more in the long run than a single grand moment. Not that single moments don’t make an impact.  But his example was so true, so powerful because it never faltered.  This world can pull and push and drag us with different influences.  We can spend our days being pushed and pulled and dragged through this life.  Or we can stand strong in our lives.  Loving those that matter most to us every single day.

To gently whisper, “Page 87, dear.” Place our hand on her shoulder, pull her close, and sing as if we are the only two people in the church.

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January 15, 2014 · 10:40 am

Tech is Awesome

Sometimes it is the simplest moments that bring the greatest joy.  My second son and I jammed out to Aloe Blacc’s, “The Man,” on the way to basketball practice last night.

On the way home I thought about how technology allowed our moment to be so cool.  First, my son and I jam out all the time.  But last night just highlighted what an awesome time we are living in.

My son asked me if I had heard the new Aloe Blacc song. I asked which one and he said, “the I’m the man song.”  I said I hadn’t heard the whole song, but knew of the song because of the Kevin Garnett Beats commercial.  Now, this is when technology kicked in to foster a great father and son moment.

Our minivan has Bluetooth for our phones. So, quickly we looked up the song on Grooveshark website. Switched the radio to broadcast my phone and soon we were bobbing our heads while we sang, “Go ahead tell everybody. I’m the man. I’m the man.  I’m the man.”

You might be thinking, there is nothing special about the technology.  That is true.  In fact my son and I may have jammed out to another song.  But ten years ago, this wouldn’t have happened.  We take for granted what technology does for us everyday.  How awesome it is right now… I think Neil Pasricha would agree with me.

Have an awesome day!

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December 31, 2013 · 9:55 pm

Happy New Year, 2014.

I was chatting with my five and four year-old daughters a few minutes ago as a part of our normal good night routine.  After the teeth are brushed and the books are read, I lay on the floor talking with my daughters.  My five year-old asked if they drank from a bottle would they be babies again.  I said no, you don’t get to go backwards.

The girls moved on to asking when we would get to go to the hotel again.  Over Thanksgiving we got to stay in a hotel with a pool.  The girls still talk about it.  I said that yes, we would get to stay in a hotel again.  My five year-old let out her trademark, “Yeesss!”

And there it is… the heartache and the joy of life.  You can’t go back, but there is so much to look forward to.

As 2013 comes to a close and look forward to 2014, we all take this moment to gather our thoughts about the past year.  There is nothing I can write that will change anything that has happen in 2013.  As I found the YouTube video above, I was flooded with emotion for Mr. Monter, who passed away this year. Our paths had diverged a few years ago, but the time we spent working together was important to my development as a teacher and a person.  But it is not just Mr. Monter that I miss.  I miss my family and my friends.  I know that my life will not mean much to the grand scheme of life, but the relationships I have make the world of difference right now.

Yes, I have made my New Year resolutions.  One of them is centered on building stronger relationships with people who matter the most to me.

But 2014 will be here tomorrow, in fact in about three hours, and that means opportunities.   Chances to fulfill dreams.  Maybe because I am now in my forties, I have a different sense of the importance of each day.   I want to make each day feel like how my five year-old would say, “Yeesss!”

Happy New Year!

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December 2, 2013 · 9:30 am

With Your Eyes

The kids ran outside, ready to stretch their legs from the five hour trip home.  I took a deep breath, stretched my arms high trying to touch the warm sun.  I turned to look at all the bags sitting in the trunk and thought it was nice to be home.  I grabbed a few bags and headed inside to dump them off.

The boys were shooting hoops.  My three year-old was trying to dribble a basketball.  I could hear my other two daughters on the playset. I grabbed a couple more bags when my daughter asked me to watch her dribble the basketball.  I took a quick look and said some dad cliché like, “Nice job” or something like that.  My three year-old wasn’t having it.

“No, dad. With your eyes.”

I set the bags back down in the trunk and walk over to her.  She dribbles a few times, then passes the ball to me telling me it was my turn.  We take turns dribbling.  I shoot a few balls with the boys (never making a single shot… I blamed it on the trip but I might just be getting old).  I watch my daughter dribble a few more moments then tell her I am going to get the bags into the house.  She says OK but that I need to come back.  I tell her I will.

“No, dad. With your eyes.”

Recently I had my psychology class take a Social Intelligence test based on identifying emotions displayed through people’s eyes. There are 36 photos; only two students got a score above thirty.  Most scored in the teens.

Police say that no one saw the gunman waving his gun before the September San Francisco shooting because everyone was looking at their phones. (CNN Article Link)

It’s not just technology that can “blind” us from the wonder of the world, or the love of a child.  If our eyes are the window to our soul, that means our soul is expressed through what our eyes see and what we do with our view of the world around us. I hope the day finds you wide-eyed and awake…

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August 13, 2013 · 9:44 am

A Quick Post for Today

It is a Tuesday morning in August.  I am not at the Blue Moon coffee shop.  My oldest son started junior high this morning.  My sixth child should be born in a few weeks.  I have a few minutes between school meetings, and my shoes are wet from this morning’s QB and receiver practice.

Life is a crazy trip.  I wish I could articulate something profound or bring to light something new for this blog, but I can’t.  What I am learning from this new experience is that fear knows no age limit.  And in some ways, at my age, it seems harder to over come.

I think part of it is concern for the stability of my family.  My goals and aspirations for raising my kids and building a life with my wife is a factor in my decisions.  When I make a major change, the family makes a major change.  And that concern of making the right decision is almost crippling.

But that is what fear does to us. It freezes us.  Decisions feel so permanent because they do set our feet for the next step.  But life has shown me that every path has junctions and new paths are always options.

Age does not eliminate fear.  Life will always have choices, no matter how routine it feels.  So…

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Made with PicLits.com

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July 4, 2013 · 10:09 am

Beginnings

DeskLife is filled with beginnings and ends.  And maybe because my life is filled with beginnings, I am understanding that beginnings are the hardest part of life.  My oldest will be beginning junior high, my sixth child will be born in weeks; I am beginning a new chapter in my career with a head coaching position, and also a new tech integration position at a new school.

 

There are two aspects of beginnings that challenge us: Fear and the Right Step.

The fear stems from the unknown. Robert Frost wrote about taking the path less traveled, but he never addressed the challenge of not knowing what that path held.  We don’t know the terrain, the turns, hills or valleys on our new path.  That fear can hinder us; even keep us from making the first couple of steps.

I say a couple of steps because I have seen people, and even me, stop on paths before.  We start down a path determined to reach our goal, fear (and doubt) get the best of us, and we stop.  To traverse the path, we have to continue walking despite the fear. I’ve come to realize it is not taking the next step that allows us to continue walking; it is the Right Step.

We all will stumble, or take a misstep in life.  We regroup and continue along our path.  But success comes from taking the right step, especially at the beginning.  That first step sets your tempo, sets us in the direction we want to go, and gives us confidence to take the next Right Step.

And the next Right Step. And the next Right Step.

Even on a new path it is easy to fall into automatic mode.  If you have ever tweaked your ankle on a rock or a hole in the ground you know there is a danger involved in not paying attention to where you step.  Making sure you take the Right Step minimizes those dangers.  You set your foot confidently, and no matter what the next step may have in store, your steps are on solid ground.

Beginnings are scary, filled with uncertainty, but the Right Step will allow you to explore paths not just walk them. Or worse, to stop and never know what heights you can reach.

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May 28, 2013 · 9:49 am

Change

How does the saying go? “The only thing that doesn’t change is that change happens.”  Or something along those lines. Life right now has got me reeling.  Feeling bombarded with change but no clear path through the chaos.

And this is the moment when it can all fall apart.  Everything crashing down like a juggler who missed a catch and now the bowling pins are ricocheting off the floor.  Or this is the moment when the world will stand amazed at the show, watching as the flow of the juggler’s hands move the objects through the air in a synchronized dance.

We all have been at this moment.

I’ve learned a few things about how to get through this moment, even though I know my insights are nothing new, I will share.

1. You have to start with something. The biggest stumbling block is inactivity.  Letting the overwhelming feelings keep you frozen.  Starting with something, however small the task, gets you in a different mind set.  It gets you feeling like you can handle the change.

2. Ask for help. I don’t do this well, I will confess.  It is a mix of pride and trust that keeps me from asking for help before I get too overwhelmed.  But life is a team sport.  In fact, I have learned that helping others creates the strongest bonds. We open our hearts when we ask for help, and when we do things for others.

3. There is a path. No matter how lost we feel, there is a way through the maze.  Change is just one of those huge junctions that leave you wondering which way to go.  We may hit dead ends, make a ton of left turns, but there is a path.  We just can’t see the whole maze.

Maze

So, I am in the middle of change.  I would like to take this time to pay tribute to Mr. Gary Monter, who passed away last week.  He was my principal at Centura and was a friend that helped me find my way in the past.  I miss you.  But I have the foundation you helped me build as a teacher and person to continue finding my way through this maze.

Music was a keystone of our friendship.  “Hold On,” by Alabama Shakes, was the last music suggestion Mr. Monter sent to me.  It is a fitting way to end this post.

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May 7, 2013 · 9:08 am

Whatever happened to Georgia Wonder?

Back in 2009 I was following a band Georgia Wonder on Twitter. I was also teaching a unit on digital literacy for my sophomores. I had a crazy idea to try to connect with people I followed on Twitter to enhance some of the topics we were covering in class. One of those people was Julian Moore of the band Georgia Wonder. He agreed to talk to my sophomores via iChat to talk about the music business.

Here is the online magazine my students produced from that lesson: Chalk: Georgia Wonder issue.

Here is the blog post Julian wrote: Nebraska USA.

But this post is not about that lesson; it is about relationships. Relationships in our digital age.

Julian and I hit it off right away. In fact we both have the same birthday. For quite some time after the iChat lesson we kept in contact on a regular bases. Georgia Wonder was working on a new album, and in fact the class and I got to hear the first single from the album as Julian was working on it. Today it is 2013 and I have lost contact with Julian. There have only been two posts on Twitter from the band since last year. Their blog has not been updated in a long time. Julian is working on a novel, but that blog has not been updated either. So what happen to a friendship in the making? Life.

Let me take a minute to bring in a few ideas that have been on my mind lately. In the TECHS class we have been discussing digital citizenship, and part of that discussion has been the change in our definitions of friendship, communication, and relationships. Yesterday we watched the following TED talk “Alone Together” by Sherry Turkle.

I have been reading the book You are not a Gadget by Jaron Lanier, which discuss many of the same ideas. This blog isn’t about those either.

Now this is a hard truth. I know that if I stopped using Twitter or Facebook, nobody would really care. Somebody might think off hand that I hadn’t posted anything in awhile, but life would go on. I will be starting a new job soon and in a few months after I leave ESU 10 somebody might think about me, but life goes on. But here is the point, the aspect we as a culture and as individuals are discovering and working through; life goes on whether we are online or not. (And I am thinking we need to be offline a little more… but that is for another post) But when we embrace the power to enhance our relationships through technology we create an incredible personal experience that enriches what we do and who we can become. At the moment much of technology discussion feels like technology is a separate aspect to our lives. It is not; it is a tool that can enrich our lives.

So what does this have to do with Georgia Wonder? Good question. I may never connect with Julian again, but the possibility is there because of technology. But just like any friendship, job, or change, life goes on. But my life, and my students’ lives, was enriched by our connection. If we keep the focus on how technology can make our lives better; I think we will do just fine.

By the way, Georgia Wonder, if you get the chance to read this… I’m still listening to your music.

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January 9, 2013 · 7:58 am

“I do it.”

Clip art courtesy of ryanlerch at openclipart.org

This morning my youngest daughter was getting herself dressed. She was having a little trouble with one of her sleeves. Like many parents, my wife said, “Come here, I’ll help.”

Our daughter look at her said, “I do it.”

She continued to struggle to get the sleeve untangled and her hand through the sleeve.  She turned a couple of times like a dog chasing its tail. After a minute she stopped and said, “Need help.”

My wife then helped her get her arm through the sleeve and we continued with our morning routine. The time in between “I do it” and  “Need help” was probably at the most a minute. But in parental time it felt like an hour, especially since we were in the middle of our morning routine.

My youngest girl is a classic strong-willed child. She will tackle any thing she feels like. If this was any of my other four children at this age they would have let us help them get their arm through the shirt right away. We would have justified helping them for the sake of our routine.

It is easy to do things for our kids. Whether they are our own kids or our students. My oldest son is now 12 years old and we are asking him to take on more responsibility. But I wonder if I have simply taught him that dad will do it.  For example, for years I have cleaned the dishes from the table after dinner.  It is easier for me to handle the mess than have a child carry a plate with some uneaten macaroni and cheese on it and have the possibility that the child dumps the food on the floor. Or take their glass, with just a little bit of milk at the bottom, to the counter.  But now that I want my son to do more, there are moments of frustration because he forgets to put his plate in the dishwasher.  But I have done it for him for twelve years.

This morning my three-year-old daughter reminded me that building any foundation takes a lot of time and energy. It might be easy to do things for our kids for the sake of time or ease. But the foundation will not be there when it is needed most in life. When we are not there.

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January 8, 2013 · 8:53 am

Happy New Year

Happy New Year… a few days late but the year is still young.

The lines, “As I playback now, the tape of the year / Its not where I thought we’d be, still not where I feared” from the song above, “3 Days Till Next Year” by Keith Ward, is fitting for how I am feeling today.

Just like many people, there were too many things that I didn’t do.  Too many things that I took for granted because I was worried or simply complained about life not going the way I wanted.

January 1 gives all of us a symbolic moment to “replay the tape,” but what matters more is what we will do today.  And it is not the big things that we should focus on but as the song says, “Remember that friend, that you meant to call.”  We let too many small moments pass by, too many letters or emails not sent, smiles kept hidden and then wonder why the past year feels just like the last; filled with regrets.

Life is going to happen.  Whether I complain or accomplish a new goal.  January 1, 2014, will allow me another moment to replay the tape.  I am striving to have that tape filled with friendships, great moments, and new adventures.  But most importantly, not matter what struggles life might have in store for me, to have a year filled with joy and love.

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