Tag Archives: dreams

Time to Give Up

I am going to go against the grain today. I am going to ask a hard question. And I ask you to not jump on the inspirational bandwagon.

When do you know it is time to

I can predict your answers… at least the first ones that flood your mind. Don’t give up. Follow your heart or dreams. Stay the course. We can’t forget the Thomas Edison quote, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

But I ask you to think about this question for a minute.  To consider some ideas before answering the question about giving up.

The first concept to consider is Passion.

Jon Acuff in his book Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters brings up an interesting question regarding this idea. Does your dream get you up early? Here is his blog post on the idea.

If you don’t have the passion to actually go after something, then it is time to let the dream go. There is no use in working on a dream with minimal effort. It is a waste of your time.  Spend that time on something else.

Another concept to consider is the Cost.

Achieving anything has a cost to it. In the example above the cost is time (and sleep). But don’t take time lightly. We can not do everything. If we spend time on something, that means something or someone is not getting that time. And Time is not the only cost. There is also the cost of money, energy, and relationships to highlight a few.  If you are not willing to pay the cost of achieving a dream, then it is time to give up.

The hardest concept is Failure.

If you are not making progress on your goal, it might be time to give up. This is a tricky concept because we all do hit a wall, which I discuss at Stop Doing Nothing blog. Failure alone is not a sign you need to give up on a goal. And I can’t give you a time table to follow so that after six years you should quit. I do believe failure tells us that something is wrong. It could be timing, our approach, or a simply a bad day. But it can also be the wrong dream. If nothing is working. Failure is all you are experiencing. It might be time to let the dream goal.

When do you know it is time to give up?

If your goal doesn’t drive you.  If you are not willing to pay the cost of achieving your goal. If you are experiencing nothing but failure. If all three of these concepts ring true. Then it is OK to give up on a dream because you can go accomplish another goal that has been waiting for you to achieve.

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A Spark

From a Spark

I was a boy scout in elementary school in Minneapolis, Minn. We went camping once every month. Yes, even in January. We had to plan our meals, decide on job duties, plan a route for hiking, not to mention build a fire. To build a fire properly takes the right environment.  A clean level spot. A ring of dirt or stones was advised in my day.  You will need the correct wood, tinder, kindling and fuel wood. There are a number of ways to arrange the wood. I usually used the lean-to arrangement. But most importantly you need a spark. Nothing works without a spark.

Everyday I see articles and inspirational photos about finding your passion. The messages from these post are great. But they set an expectation of going from nothing to a full fledge fire. It doesn’t work that way. You have to have a spark. And once that spark is alive, it must be nurtured or else it will be extinguished before it can ignite a fire.

I have seen this human spark start a change in people but falter before it could make a lasting effect on their life. I have seen it in the classroom. I have heard it in colleagues voices. There are things that start a spark in all of us. But instead of fostering that spark to a raging fire, the spark flares up for a day or maybe a week and is gone. Until something ignites the spark and the cycle continues.

There are some things I learned as a boy scout that might get that spark to catch fire. I wish I could guarantee you will find your passion and life becomes one of those inspirational photos, but I spent enough time trying to get a fire going in the winters of Minnesota to know that nothing is guaranteed. But I hope I can share some ideas with you to make a positive difference in your life. Let’s see if we can get that spark to a fire.

Work and Patience

The first aspect is patience and work. You can build the perfect lean-to, have dry, combustible tinder and the first spark doesn’t catch. Maybe it was the wind. Maybe it burned the tinder too fast.  Maybe it started to rain. There are too many external factors to name that have the power to extinguish a spark. Same holds true in our life. I love to write, and I have so many ideas (sparks), but life just gets in the way.

If the first spark doesn’t catch, you try again. And again. And again. Even when a spark catches the tinder you have to work at keeping it burning until it catches the kindling. I remember huddled down around the small flame, hands spread out like bird wings trying to protect the flame from the wind. Sometimes gently blowing onto the flame so it would catch another twig on fire. It takes patience and work to get that spark to a level that it is ready for fuel wood.

Whatever sparks your heart, if you are not willing to work at it, you will never reach that level of passion in your life. You have to work and you have to have patience. You have to make time to work at that spark.

The Right Fuel

Once that spark has become a fire, it needs the right fuel. You would think any wood would work for a fire, but no. Each type of wood has their own properties for factors like heat, smoke, and coaling. Some are better for cooking, while others create a great campfire mood with intense flames and sparks.

There is not an easy answer for what fuel you need to make your spark into a fire. Factors to consider regarding this include time, finances, a mentor, and schooling. The hurdle for many people at this stage is the What now? question. No campfire keeps burning without someone looking after it. Nobody succeeds alone. Take the time and be honest in considering what or who you need to succeed. What will it take to keep the fire burning? Then collect the right fuel to keep your goals going.

The Fire is Out

Someone might be thinking, ‘I had the passion, in fact things were going well, but I still failed. The fire is out.’  I understand.  Believe me I know the feeling. But don’t just throw away this post just yet.

Every morning we would start our breakfast fire from the coals left over from the night before. It would take a little work and patience but in no time we were cooking eggs and bacon. The embers of our failures can be the “spark” to new adventures, new goals. Those new goals still need work and patience. They will need the right fuel. But you can take those coals from a past spark to start a new fire.
Share with me how your spark became a fire.

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Road Closed

RoadClosedLife doesn’t always give us a sign like the one above. Life will provide us with events that make us feel like we cannot go any further down a certain path. That everything has changed. That the road is closed. Yet, any road closing will have an alternate route, sometimes just a city block, other times it can be miles. But after sometime we are back on our familiar path heading for our destination. Don’t let a change in your path keep you from reaching your goals. Even though alternate routes usually take longer, they can have beautiful scenery. And you will make it to your destination, just maybe not as you planned.

https://youtu.be/GXD0qz05yEA

 

 

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Dreams Deferred…

Last week one of my English classes studied “Harlem” by Langston Hughes. Many people know this poem as “A Dream Deferred.” One of the reasons I love literature and especially poetry is the joy to connect our life to the theme of the work.

The historical message of the poem is rooted in the dream of civil rights and still reflects the struggle we have as a society to fulfill that dream. But I think why the poem has such universal appeal is that Langston Hughes touched on such a deep pain we all face in our lives; dreams deferred.

Here is a moment of honesty. At the moment I am struggling with this concept. I have always had a grand dream of becoming a writer. Ever since fifth grade I have filled notebooks with stories and poems. I won a young authors award in high school. I financed the publishing of a book of my own poems in college, but life just kept pushing the dream to the back burner. Now at the age of 43 it seems that time is running out to achieve that dream. And it hurts. It feels like I will never be able to achieve that goal and it is fading away.

Langston Hughes uses decaying metaphors in the middle of the poem, “ Or fester like a sore—/ And then run?,” to create a visual for the consequence to our lives if we keep pushing our dreams to another day. The dream will have become rotten.

Then mix in the discussion I had with the students about reaching for their dreams, and I think I understand the last line as it pertains to an individual.

A dream deferred destroys you.

I am not suggesting that everyone can accomplish their goals, success is never guaranteed. But we can handle failure as long as we have the opportunity to try. Being a football coach has also been a dream of mine, and I was granted the opportunity. And I failed. It hurts. It hurts bad, but I can deal with it because I was given a chance.

But what is life like when there is no chance? When it seems like nobody cares about your dream or willing to help you with it? Langston uses the line, “Maybe it just sags / like a heavy load.” A great simile here to describe the weight of that dream sitting in your heart but no opportunity to achieve it. Then everyday it gets just a little heavier. A day turns into a month, that turns into years, that turns into a life. A life that never reached its true potential.

Let’s get back to my students, your students. School. Are they striving to accomplish their dreams? Or are we asking them to push their dreams aside for better test scores, for grades, or worse for some other time in their life? Do we even know their goals?

I’m not naive enough to say that fostering our students’ dreams will solve all the world’s problems. But, what would our classroom, our schools, our world look like if we were given the opportunity and support to try?

Langston Hughes describes it this way in his poem, “I Dream a World.”

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Turning 40 “The Past”

“Today is the moment when your past and future meet.”

I have been struggling with how to articulate this idea with out writing some deep philosophy book.  Simply stated, what I’ve learned is that our past is important, but we don’t handle its power well.

On the extreme edges we either ignore it or let it cripple us.  Somewhere in the middle is where we can use it to improve today and build for tomorrow.  Our past affects us, even if we don’t always recognize it.

The crazy part is it doesn’t matter if the past was 10 years or 10 minutes ago.  Over the years I’ve seen how the past affects my students.  I’ve seen how the drama of the last class took 10 minutes for them to get focused, to the way a movie we watched in class brought back the pain of the loss of a parent.

I have been guilty of not seeing my students fully. Wondering why they just did that?  Or frustrated with their work ethic.  I am guilty of not considering their past and how it might play a role in their behavior.  To use my English teacher vocabulary, we all are round dynamic characters in this life.  We all have a past, we all have dreams and goals we want to achieve. And today is the moment when our past and future meet. If we are aware of this I think we can tackle issues with a clearer objective.  If we can help our students see that, maybe we can help them build a better future.

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