Tag Archives: daughter

May 12, 2015 · 1:02 pm

Strength of Joy

I’ve been working through a deep life concept, but I will get to that in a minute. Let me share some anecdotes that connect to the idea first.

IMG_5667First my youngest daughter. She is a year and a half. She is at that stage where life is simply awesome. She is learning to use the stairs, learning to talk, learning to blow kisses. She will stop eating to stand in her seat and dance. Her brothers are teaching her how to fist bump. Life is filled with everyday joy for her. At graduation this weekend a mother of one of the seniors reinforced that idea when she stopped me to say how wonderful it was to watch my daughter dance during the graduation. There is a moment in the ceremony when the seniors give roses to their parents. This year the song was “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake. The mother then said, “She could all teach us what it means to be joyful.”

As many of you know I am at a major crossroads in my life. And things are not going well regarding what next year will bring for me. I let that stress get to me a couple of days ago when I lost my cool in front of my kids. I can’t even remember why now. But as I read stories to my middle girls and asked them what their favorite things were from the day, I was brought back to the concept I had been thinking of…

JoyStrength

I’m not talking about feeling happiness. I’m talking about a deep appreciation of the blessings we have in our lives.

Happiness is eating brownies. Joy is making the brownies for someone else and enjoying their smiles as they eat. (Of course we have a brownie, too. We can feel joy and be happy at the same time.)

Negative feelings can over shadow our lives. It takes strength to combat feelings of fear, doubt, and disappointment. That strength comes from Joy. It takes courage to see the beauty of our lives, a child’s smile or the stars shining, when we feel like our world is falling apart. The catch is that when we pay attention to those things that bring us joy that leads us to feel the strength to battle through the tough times. It is a cycle, a positive cycle that builds us up.

Joy doesn’t remove a bad situation. It gives us the strength to get through it with a loving and confident heart. To stand up and dance even if it is dinnertime.

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February 25, 2015 · 10:44 pm

Why do we have walls?

While I was washing dishes, my third daughter, now five years old, peppered me with questions.

“Why do we have toothbrushes?” she asked.

“To help keep our teeth clean,” I said.

“Why do we have a nose?” she asked.

“To smell things,” I said.

“Why do we have chairs?” she asked.

“So we can sit down,” I said.

Junk Drawer

She even went to one of our junk drawers and drilled me on why we needed everything in the drawer. I was having fun coming up with answers while she kept asking why we needed things, even asking why we needed walls. That took me a second or two to come up with an answer, “So, that we have rooms.” She seemed content with my answers. But she hit me with a question that made me pause.

She was on a roll asking about the body. Why we needed elbows, knees, and why we had a tummy.

 

Then she asked, “Why do we live?”

I couldn’t think of a quick fun answer. I did think of a deep philosophical answer, but knew it wasn’t right for the moment. How could I provide an answer that she would appreciate?

Without a clear answer in my head I said, “We are alive because it is a gift, an opportunity for us to see what we can do with our lives.”

“To go to the zoo?” she asked.

“Yes,” I chuckled, “but to do other things, too.”

“Like make brownies,” she asked, “or to be a dad?”

I turned from the sink to look at her as she sat at the island playing with her My Little Ponies. He finger still in a splint. And a smile that made her eyes shine.

“Yes, like being a dad,” I said.

What is your answer to the question, “Why do we live?”

 

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October 19, 2014 · 10:34 pm

Your Favorite

“What is your favorite cereal?”IMG_3775

“All of them.”

“What is your favorite color of socks?”

“Rainbow.”

“What is your favorite holiday?”

“Christmas, Easter, Halloween… what are the other holidays?”

Almost every night you will hear a conversation like this between my two middle daughters and me. We read a story, say our prayers, and then I ask them what their favorites are.

I ask silly questions, they give me silly answers. They will ask me to ask certain favorite questions, especially if they did something cool at school or daycare. Sometimes the questions lead us on tangent discussions. But no matter what, we end the day with laughter.

It is not the questions, or the answers, that are important. It is the few uninterrupted minutes we share to end the day. No TV, or mobile device, or even other brothers and sisters. Just us.

I don’t know if they will remember our nightly ritual when they are 30 years old, but I know that it is important to them now. It is important to me. I am coming to the understanding of how important the small everyday moments are to the foundation of relationships. The small shared giggles, the sharing of stories, or sharing that all candy is your favorite.

What is your favorite moment of the day?

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