Monthly Archives: January 2014

January 28, 2014 · 12:07 pm

Top of the Stairs

Stairs“Boys!” I holler, standing at the top of the stairs.

No response. I know that they are probably in their rooms, which are opposite the stairs.

“Boys!” I holler again.

No response.

And then yes, I holler again, “Boys!”

The frustration of not being heard starts to rise…

We have all been in this situation at sometime and in some form.  Sometimes we are the ones hollering and other times we are the one being hollered at.  It might be from the stairs or two rooms away.  And in most cases the whole situation ends up in frustration.

“Why didn’t you answer?”

“Didn’t you hear me?”

“WHAT?!?”

Why do we do this?  We all want to be heard. And that just might be the problem. We want to be heard instead of communicating.  Many times when I holler down to the boys it is to tell them it is time for dinner, or it is time to leave for school.  Even with this simple of a moment, I am concerned with being heard.  That mindset causes me to repeat myself until I get frustrated.

When we communicate we have to consider the other person.  Who they are.  What they might think or feel.  Where they are.  When I keep a communicating mindset with my boys I might still holler from the top of the stairs but when they don’t answer I walk down the stairs to where they are. Situation is frustration free.  Plus, we are all sitting at the table in less time than if I just stood there yelling until I finally go downstairs to find them.

Sadly, I see us yelling from the stairs on Facebook, Twitter, and in the classroom.  We are more concerned with being heard than communicating.  We don’t even consider the other person’s existence much of the time.  We holler, wondering why nobody hears us.  We holler and wonder why we feel disconnected and alone.  If we would have a mindset to communicate, we automatically start connecting with people because we have to consider them in how we talk.  Be it our children, our friends, students, or followers on Twitter.

So, when you find yourself at the top of the stairs, frustrated, stop to consider walking down the stairs to talk with the person.  I know it will make the difference in your connection with that person and you will know you were heard.

1 Comment

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as , ,

January 16, 2014 · 8:36 am

Never Faltered

I will be honest; I have wanted to write about this for a while.  There is a gentleman in our church who has impacted my life and my family through the simplest thing.  He loved his wife.

For years, by chance, we sat behind him and his wife.  His wife’s hearing was bad and he would spend the service helping her find the song in the hymnal or repeat what the Father had said, “He said there was going to be donuts after the service.” Not once did I hear an attitude of frustration leak into his voice.  During the winter he would help her with her coat.  They would hold hands during the service.

We attend a catholic church, and he would shake all of my children’s hands during the moment when the congregation would offer each other the sign of peace (shaking hands and repeating, “Peace be with you.”).  Through the years we would run into them at the supper market. He would always spend a moment and a smile with us.  They were married for 50 plus years.

He lost his wife a little over a year ago.  And he now attends Saturday night services. He still stops to talk and smile with us when we attend Saturday services, too.  I haven’t had the courage (but I plan on telling him the next time I see him) to share with him how his everyday love for his wife was a real example for me as a husband and person.  His love for his wife was visible and constant.  At different times I reflect on his example as a reminder that the strongest way to build my marriage and life is in how I love everyday.

Our lives are living examples for everyone around us.  Or everyday practices mean more in the long run than a single grand moment. Not that single moments don’t make an impact.  But his example was so true, so powerful because it never faltered.  This world can pull and push and drag us with different influences.  We can spend our days being pushed and pulled and dragged through this life.  Or we can stand strong in our lives.  Loving those that matter most to us every single day.

To gently whisper, “Page 87, dear.” Place our hand on her shoulder, pull her close, and sing as if we are the only two people in the church.

2 Comments

Filed under Family, Life

Tagged as ,

January 15, 2014 · 10:40 am

Tech is Awesome

Sometimes it is the simplest moments that bring the greatest joy.  My second son and I jammed out to Aloe Blacc’s, “The Man,” on the way to basketball practice last night.

On the way home I thought about how technology allowed our moment to be so cool.  First, my son and I jam out all the time.  But last night just highlighted what an awesome time we are living in.

My son asked me if I had heard the new Aloe Blacc song. I asked which one and he said, “the I’m the man song.”  I said I hadn’t heard the whole song, but knew of the song because of the Kevin Garnett Beats commercial.  Now, this is when technology kicked in to foster a great father and son moment.

Our minivan has Bluetooth for our phones. So, quickly we looked up the song on Grooveshark website. Switched the radio to broadcast my phone and soon we were bobbing our heads while we sang, “Go ahead tell everybody. I’m the man. I’m the man.  I’m the man.”

You might be thinking, there is nothing special about the technology.  That is true.  In fact my son and I may have jammed out to another song.  But ten years ago, this wouldn’t have happened.  We take for granted what technology does for us everyday.  How awesome it is right now… I think Neil Pasricha would agree with me.

Have an awesome day!

Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Life, Technology

Tagged as , , ,