Yesterday’s post shared an anecdote that showed how important small talk is, how talking about the weather can build a connection… I also shared how I am not good at small talk because I would rather talk about deeper aspects of life… I’m sharing a song below as part of this introduction, “Here I Go Again” by Casting Crowns
This song was written by Mark Hall after he loss a friend to suicide. Mark knew he was struggling, yet, they never really talked about it. Mark shared the story at a concert almost 20 years ago. (It was the first concert I took my oldest son to; he is the fan of Casting Crowns.)
“Here I Go Again” shares the real struggle we have in talking about deep and important issues in our lives. Like in the song, “But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words / What am I so afraid of?” I wonder keeps us from really diving into issues that really make a difference in our lives. Why don’t we tell people we love them more? Like everyday! Why don’t we discuss the hardships we face chasing our dreams? What are we hiding from? What are we afraid of?
There is no clear and easy answer to this because each person has their own fears, their own histories. And we do have deep conversations with friends, but not very often. We do tell people we love them, just not enough. I understand the role trust plays in conversations, and I don’t trust many people at all, but I’m not afraid to talk about deep or interesting things.
I don’t know how to conquer your fear, or anyone’s. But I believe we need to move beyond the weather in our conversations. Build strong bonds instead of quick social connections. Tell people we love them more, hug them more. Our lives are complex and deep experiences, we should share that. You never know who you’ll connect with or what you will learn.
I’m laughing as I write this because I had a memory from decades ago when I asked my brother-in-law, who is a farmer, if he ever thought about where his crops go in this world, who might eat his corn.
He looked at me and said, “Cows eat my corn, this is a feed crop. Not a human crop.”
You don’t learn if you don’t ask!
It is all Connected 