A Gray 2023

I am ready for 2023 to be over.

Not to rush forward through my days. But yes I’m ready to go through the ritual of counting down the last seconds of 2023 and celebrating the idea of a new year, a new beginning. 

This is not a post about living each day to its fullest, or some other motivational cliché that sometimes leads people to a false sense of reality.

This post is acknowledging the fact that the seasons of our lives can be filled with highs and lows… making for a gray year.

I started to tear up Christmas shopping last week. We were looking for gifts from my dad, and out of habit I said, “This can be from Grandma and Grandpa Hudson,” as I held up a book for one of my daughters. My throat locked up as I looked at my wife, suddenly holding back tears that wanted to run. (For any new readers, I lost my mom this summer… my wife lost her mom in September.)

There have been other low points, competing at poetry slams, rejection emails and other small nicks at my confidence as a poet and writer that add up.

There have been some cool moments, too. Published my book, While Death Waits, in October. I completed every challenge I set for myself this year. I’ve laughed with students and family. Read some great books. I have shared ideas with you, reader, through this blog. Been a guest on two podcasts this year. Plus, Dante and I have faithfully produced our podcast all year. 

There were some good days.

But as a year, 2023 was gray. 

Life is like that. And I think we hinder ourselves by trying to cover up or ignore the low points. When we don’t recognize the dark days, or try to fill them with color, we miss the opportunity to grow, to feel a depth of our lives that can strengthen us in so many different ways. We gain strength when we deal with heartbreak. We understand ourselves and life better by embracing the hurt. That understanding allows us to live that moment, but also the happy moments with more depth, more understanding, more appreciation.

It is not easy though. There were a lot of gray days. 

But I look sharp in dark colors…

Here is to a wonderful 2024!